printable version

• It's hard to be an addict when you're broke
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• It's hard to get C!-ed when you're a boring programmer
• It's Hard to be Humble
• It's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• What am I doing here when I could be swimming with the dolphins?
• I am blind when I want to be
• it's hard to hear when you're stuck inside someone's torso
• I want to be a dirty old man when I grow up
• Why are you clapping when you should be screaming?
• I'll explain it when you're older
• When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading communism
• Why it is so hard to be yourself
• You know it is going to be a strange day when you wake up dead
• I will be hard and silver and pure without fear.
• That great feeling when the dice go your way
• Sometimes I am embarrassed to be Christian
• reformatting hard drives at 2 AM
• The hole in the ground for bodily waste when camping
• Why it seems you get good ideas when you're stoned
• Southern Funerary Rites: Things to Do In Dixie When You're Dead
• You're pretty when you're quiet
• I am not ashamed to be a consumer
• Forgive me for who I am when I wake up
• You're not going to be happy until you put someone's eye out
• You know you're in a terrible mood when the songs don't work
• I want to be a pirate when I grow up
• Myself When I am Real
• When, if ever, will there be permanent peace in the Balkans?
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• Sometimes, when no one is looking, I am beautiful
• May the world be a better place when I wake up
• Questions you will be asked when you study Chinese
• When you're alone
• The quality of relationships with people when you're sick
• I assume I am a visionary. You will not be able to convince me otherwise.
• If you're not smart enough to figure this out on your own, you shouldn't be doing it
• It's so hard to be unfashionable
• When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
• To tell the truth I am never happier than when I am a kangaroo
• When you're home alone
• Sometimes, when I am looking, no one is beautiful
• How it feels to be interviewed (when you know the answers)
• Spiral, spin, ride the whirlwind, knowing when the drumming stops, there will be no second dance
• I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
• How to buy LEGO sets when you're over twice the suggested age
• How to draw a 4-dimensional object, when you're limited to 3 dimensions
• When I am an old woman
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Time stands still when you're in the tube
• Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans
• when you're 30, you'll change your mind
• I don't want to be here when you don't call.
• I want to be a sherpa when I grow up
• The truth and who I am when I look at it
• When the principal laughs so hard he can't suspend you
• I am not cynical enough to be considered an intellectual
• Yes, dammit I am sure I want to delete it. While you're at it, empty the trash, too!
• Every Day's a Holiday When You're Pagan: February
• I don't even know when I am being sarcastic anymore
• It's memories that I'm stealing, but you're innocent when you dream
• When you're a quarterback, you should not screw with the minds of your linemen
• How to open a KFC when you're a cook
• Sometimes it's hard to be good
• When I look into her eyes, I no longer care about what the world thinks. This is what it feels like to be alive.
• When I am dead, my dearest
• Knowing you're going to die when you turn 30
• You can't rant when you're not angry
• When you're finished struggling... are you free tonight?
• When I have Fears that I may Cease to Be
• When did you choose to be left-handed?
• All that I am and ever want to be
• When you fly like thunder, I am reminded of Icarus and Bellerophon. How does your myth end?
• I need these blue and black halos for comfort, to remind me where I am, who I am, when I am
• when you're ready to touch me again
• When you know things are just meant to be
• Reasons why I am ecstatic to be alive right now
• You're never around when I need you
• The node that tried too hard to be loved
• When you're the oldest, you're not allowed to feel pain
• What I want to be when I grow up
• When I grow up, I want to be a pretzelman
• When the great recorder comes
• somewhere, when I realize who I am
• I am not wrong. I will not be mended.
• When you're dead, you're dead
• You know you're in the SCA when
• When you're supposed to go down, find the deepest well and go down to the bottom
• When the fall is all that's left it matters a great deal
• When you're little, mom and dad are superheroes
• I am Human, and I Need to be Loved.
• Sex starts when you're standing up
• Work hard and be nice
• When I grow up (I want to be an old woman)
• got to be good looking cause he's so hard to see
• When I am an old man
• I love you, even when I am heartless
• You're too young to be so old
• Rules by which a great empire may be reduced to a small one
• Nobody Knows You when You're Down and Out
• I want to be a whale when I grow up. Or a squid.
• There are times when they seem to be right
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• When I rise it will be with the ranks, and not from the ranks
• There is Nowhere Left to Go When You're The Handsomest Man in the World
• How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
• Be a Great You
• Maybe someday I'll be an M&M the color of your eyes
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• But life is hard when the written word is your first language
• Things to do on Valentine's day when you're single
• Feeling like you're moving when you're really sitting still
• When will Linux be a good gaming platform?
• It must be hard for God to get a date
• This must be the night when I remember how to fly, when the breeze catches my weight at last
• Work hard. Be strong.
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• Mixed drinks you come up with when you're drunk
• Since when am I a size 6?
• When you know things are just not meant to be
• (Sing If You're) Glad to be Gay
• When shall I be free?
• he thought it would be great fun to conquer the world
• I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
• How to tell when your dog just wants to be friends
• When we finally fall, it will be fast and sure
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• When my boat comes in, you will be the first to board
• How to be strong for her, when all you want is to depend on her
• The life you're fucking with may not be your own
• I look better when I am wet
• Religion doesn't allow me to be who I am
• You know you're a geek when...
• Swing when you're winning
• You're too good to be human
• You touched me when I needed to be touched, and for that I will hold you in my heart forever
• I peer at the ball game, tired of Whitman, tired of wanting to be great.
• When I stop going there, I will be well.
• It's hard to know what to say when a friend's parent they always hated suddenly dies
• When I read about crazy women, I find it hard to discern
• Who am I now that you're gone?
• Every Day's a Holiday When You're Pagan: January
• When I am stronger than now
• Also, when I am angry, my eyes flash fire, whether I growl or not.
• Live so that they cry when you're born and laugh when you die
• Things to do in Denver when you're not dead: A Mile-High Nodermeet
• When or Not, Make it Great
• When am I an adult?
• Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead
• This is the place you see in your head when you're sitting at your desk dreaming
• You wake up slowly when you're a mile underground
• I miss you when you're away. Please go.
• Maybe when we drown the fish will be our friends
• Alternatives to "Oh Shit!" when visiting the Great Aunts
• I am clothed when other people go almost naked through the frozen cities in winter
• What do you want to be when you grow up?
• How the hell am I supposed to be romantic?
• How to close a KFC when you're a cook
• Everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
• When you're born with duckweed in your hair, it never washes out
• When the log rolls over we will all be dead
• Time flies when you're having fun
• Don't stop. You can sleep when you're dead.
• When I am King
• I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
• Sometimes when I am wearied suddenly,
• When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall
• Risqué comment opportunities when you're a Subway employee
• Sing when you're winning
• Resolving disparate magic systems when forced to
• How to be monstrously shallow
• Kissing is when two people taste each other tasting each other
• We knew there would be kissing, and breasts
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• You know when you've been Jesuited
• you have to be kidding
• When first my way to fair I took
• The sad thing is, if you get her you'll be sick of her in a year
• and I feel so proud when the Reckoning arrives
• Want to be a werewolf
• Who i think about when i dont want to smile
• We never asked to be babysitters
• Protocol when feeding a horse in a paddock
• All I want for Christmas is to be cooled
• Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!
• Things to consider if you think you might be a cartoon character
• How do you articulate the in between stages where you feel you're left hanging?
• I expect to be Mr. Toast and Soup tomorrow.
• If you're so good at this sport, why are you just an announcer?
• Ideals and beliefs cannot be compartmentalized
• Move, and pretend you're still breathing
• To be Carved on a Stone at Thoor Ballylee
• Love the One You're With
• Heterosexist norms make it tough for gays to be themselves
• Lost in Boston?
• So You Want to Be a Rock and Roll Star

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