When two people engage in conversation, the flow of words between them closely resembles the series of actions one goes through during the act of sex. This is called intellectual intercourse.

The preface of a conversation (i.e. “Hello, how are you? How was your day?” or even something as simple as, “Hello, my name is…”) is verbal foreplay, preparing to engage in conversation by familiarizing oneself with the other person.

The discussion itself is the act of intercourse: stroking the partner’s ego, taking enjoyment in the topic as it is discussed, or simply enjoying the company of the other and listening to them speak.

When one discovers some new information on a topic, or simply reaches the point in which the persons have an agreement, this is the climax, the intellectual orgasm.

A conversation dealing with more than two people is an intellectual orgy, in which a person can become acquainted with many different ideas from many different minds. This is often seen in class discussion or while hanging out with numerous friends.

Like sexual intercourse, intellectual intercourse has a solitary side, for those who are too anti-social to converse with other humans. Video games, reading, and other solitary activities are forms of mental masturbation, the act of stimulating oneself through means other than conversation.

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