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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "If I were a porn star or a prostitute, my name would be..."

• If you were a perfume, your name would be "Butterflies"
• If Christianity were true, why would there still be any Jews?
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• grumbling dissertation on how everything would be much better if it all were to explode
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• If there were more people like you, there would be less people
• Why Star Trek: Series V would be a bad thing
• My Little Pony or porn star?
• The world would be in much better shape if our leaders were hamsters
• If language were liquid, it would be rushing in
• It's not that we're more attractive in the darkness or that one of us may be drunk
• If you were a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would you be? (registry)
• If anything were different, everything would be different
• Bright Star, Would I were Steadfast as Thou Art
• If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him
• If voting changed anything, they would make it illegal
• Where would America be without Canada?
• would float or tread water. Or drown in it.
• Porn Star
• If there were a slight, let it be fulsome
• Be there or be square
• We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
• If this were in person, I would have kissed her now
• Hello, my name is... Would you like to have sex?
• Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others
• I never thought it would be like this
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• Don't believe us - we're all cultural prostitutes
• Might be like leftovers. Would not taste the same, however sweet.
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• Thank god it's winter, or it would stink, too.
• It is not known why a goose would be used in this manner
• Taking your fiance's last name
• If not voting could change the system it would be illegal
• Porn or not?
• If everyone had a flower instead of a gun, there would be no more war
• I think people would rather be happy than virtuous
• If she were an insect, she'd be a moth in search of a flame
• Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible
• Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist
• Things never were what they used to be
• Sorrier than I ever thought I would be
• Questions I would ask my born-again sister, if we were still talking
• a thousand more names I would have called you. One more enormous thing.
• I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
• may their names be sung forever
• This Star Wars sheet may be worth something, but I just need a tablecloth
• What would existence be like for a child born with no senses?
• "Life" appears to be a zero-sum structure, but we're running the numbers again
• A boy named Ben
• This would be easier if we did it backwards
• asking only to be stared into, offering no reward
• I want to be a whale when I grow up. Or a squid.
• To Jane: "The Keen Stars Were Twinkling"
• The stars were bright that night she left me forever
• My interview with the gay porn star
• Why nothing would change if Ralph Nader were elected
• They left the streets stained with blood, and their howling could be heard long after they were gone
• A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
• To be or not to be
• Things I would be interested in seeing used in a literary context
• if I can't be with you, then I'll write about you, or I'll write about something else
• The Filesystem That Would Be King
• Just to see what it would be like
• we can't all be rock stars
• eternity would be boring
• The best kind of bartender
• Sometimes friendships were meant to be destroyed
• Leading causes of death among porn stars
• A whimper would be fine
• Why would a lapsed Catholic want to be married in the church?
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• The next time they would come, I would not be here.
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• This would be so dirty if we weren't all professionals
• The Ten Commandments revised
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• If not for bras there would be far too little between men and breasts.
• painting stars that have come to be
• Bad command or file name
• We knew there would be kissing, and breasts
• Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool
• Who is more likely to be color-blind, men or women?
• It has been claimed that some or all of this article or section is incoherent and not understandable, and should possibly be reworded if the intended meaning can be determined
• Life without music would be a mistake
• Statements that would be shocking to people living in 1985
• It's better to be alone than to wish you were
• My parents conspire to make me a porn star
• Names that should never be given to important files
• hats should be turned around backwards or taken off
• Aunt Peg
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• Your noise would not be missed here.
• What would happen if an immovable object were confronted with an unstoppable force?
• Your piercing intelligence would undo or invigorate me
• You must be 18 or older to enter
• Recognizing a porn star as someone you know
• If we were all part of one big television show, seriously, you'd be a poorly written character
• We'd all be better off if shaking hands were making love, and children were found in the cabbage patch.
• If the world were logical, men would ride sidesaddle
• Where we're headed, you'll be looking backwards
• The company giveth and the company taketh away. Blessed be the name of the company.
• Born To Be A Rock Star
• Molecules with silly or unusual names
• Never Again Would Birds' Song Be the Same
• In a world of blind people, c would be the speed of sound
• I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
• I thought that I wanted this. I didn't realize it would be so hollow
• Who sees the most beautiful stars, the poet or the astronomer?
• lost, or trying to be
• My Little Pony turns nice girls into porn stars
• I assumed we would not even be friends
• They will not be named!
• Ten stars or so
• he thought it would be great fun to conquer the world
• Porn Stars need Fat Pipes
• Or at least it used to be
• Linux would be dead without Windows
• You can never be too rich or too thin
• panamaus does the Antipodes, or Get yer shorts on Sydney, there be a NoderParty!
• Unraveling things you would never be able to say with words.
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• the stars would weep if they knew of our existence
• Vedic star names
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• So you want to be a star?
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• Is it as it is to do or is it as it is to be?
• The passions of a love affair between a chemist and a certain prostitute named Pamela Diaz are shared by millions of unwitting 'patients' every day
• The largest number that can be described in 14 words or less
• painting stars that have not come to be
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
• Be a model or just look like one
• Why don't you just rip my heart out, it would be quicker and less painful
• I set the alarm clock anyway, knowing I would be up all night
• it would be hilarious if only
• Would you take your shoes back now, i think I know what it is like to be you.
• happy as a clam or a lark or as happy as Pacino can be
• So You Want to Be a Rock and Roll Star
• Want to be shot in the US or beaten in the UK?
• One must trust in the law, and keep within the heart the knowledge that the law of this world is the same right and just law that governed us when we were merely stars.
• ...or Not to Be: A Collection of Suicide Notes
• The Man Who Would Be King
• That I Would Be Good
• You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• Or were they chords of sun?
• Just as it could not imprison itself with laws, impoverish itself with money or misguide itself with leaders, so it would not misrepresent itself with signs.
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• I must die or be better
• If ifs and ands were pots and pans there'd be no work for tinkers
• Open source cars would be doing 200 mpg by now
• I Would Be Content To Live For But A Day
• How to herd people in public
• Mind without body
• If I had called you, would you still be dead?
• the stars were falling just for him
• I figured things would be okay once the werewolf started to cry
• Things you would bring with you if you were ever invited to shower with jessicapierce
• That would be me
• Hallowed Be Thy Name
• Rick Deckard, Blade Runner or unscrupulous bastard? You be the judge.
• Although you are right, you were wrong to be confident
• If All Men Were Brothers, Would You Let One Marry Your Sister?
• Would you know if you were insane?
• Don't leave the house or you'll be shot for deserting.
• Statements that would be shocking to people living in 1975
• I hate you, or why we cannot be friends
• If I was any good at this, I would be getting paid
• Speed limits were made to be broken
• or i may simply be a single drop of rain
• If it were a snake, it would have bit me
• Eduardo Kac's GFP Bunny, a work of transgenic art, or, It's not easy being green
• Here's your chance to live through me, to right your wrongs or wrong my rights
• Superheroes and Supervillains are Inherently Gay or Deviant
• To love and lose or not at all?
• Harry Potter or Sex?
• The eventful funeral of Scooby Andreou
• How to entertain unwashed masses on little or no money

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