Findings:

• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• That's Just How He Was
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• He Was Only Joking
• He was found
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• More than he was willing to give
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• All he left her was alone
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• At least he was gentle
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• he was a punk poet himself
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• making certain he was touching her
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• some say he was never here at all
• He Was a Crook
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• I married him because he was not mean
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
• I was once stranded on a desert island
• It was a dark and stormy night
• I was expecting it to hurt like a fuck
• Back when grunge was still cool
• The first iron-on transfer I made myself was controversial
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• Was Jesus resurrected as the Easter Bunny?
• How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
• Why I was convinced I would die young
• The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
• Upon my indulgence, I was dissatisfied
• I was looking for you
• How was your trip to London, Dan?
• if music was a woman you would have a mistress
• Once, everyone was a computer novice
• The Princess who was Hidden Underground
• Was I nearly as anti-consumerism as I had initially thought?
• Why was Cthulhu blue?
• And the sky was made of amethysts
• I was once stranded on a dessert island
• my only pin-up was Pelé
• It wasn't like I was sleeping anyway
• Dawn was a lucky time to give birth
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• As I Was Going to St Ives
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• hodgepodge was just a one-night stand, apparently
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• So I was cold chillin on the corner on a hot summer's day
• So I turned round and there was an inflatable man sat at the table
• What was the question?
• middle of summer how crazy it was
• There was a time when I was a better person
• I was promised flying cars
• Which of the Bewitched Dicks was gay?
• Nobody cares if it was originally a nodeshell
• was
• Vancouver, Washington
• Music was better in the old days
• Descartes was wrong
• It was not a weather balloon at Roswell
• A poem I wrote when I was 5
• Trompe
• The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
• It was you, Atthis
• The world was designed for giant squid
• The day I realized what being alive was
• I was a young boy that had big plans
• Man was created in God's image
• Here lies one whose name was writ in water
• It was not a dream
• I was searching glass
• This product was tested on cute, furry animals with big, sad eyes
• I was going to marry Marty
• If the King's English was good enough for Jesus
• There was a young lady of Riga
• No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
• The Story of the Vizier Who Was Punished
• WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
• Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President
• I was aghast, yet intrigued
• I Hear it was Charged Against Me
• It was all God's fault
• Concrete, Washington
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• Oxygen was the world's first pollutant
• I'll tell you what kind of guy I was
• There was a rose that faded young
• I was taken by a honeymoon scam
• Born with the gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• That Was Then, This is Now
• I was never any good at maths at school
• when you asked what I was writing, this is what it was
• Removed from humanity, I realized I was just another distraction
• I was into them after they were hip
• God was created in man's image
• What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
• Kilroy was here
• wa
• Able was I, ere I saw Elba
• The Walrus was Paul
• This wasn't how it was supposed to be
• Climbing cherry trees when I was younger
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• No shit, there I was
• 'T was
• This was unexpected, my soul's connection to you
• "Oskee wee wee! Oskee wa wa!"
• the seven hills of Rome
• That was a joke, son.
• There was once a Man
• When I was your age
• I was once a victim of Catholic schooling
• Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
• If Dr. Seuss Were a Tech Writer
• Was (Not Was)
• Cybersex before it was cool
• Marilyn Monroe was a size 16
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• Was not cleanly unmounted, check forced
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• Just how perfect was Jesus?

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