• I was hit by a train that doesn't really exist
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• How to really impress people using division by 7
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• never judge a by a reading
• She was never mine. I always shared her.
• we never really fight, so I don't know how this is supposed to go
• Outside the train station she was the only person wearing an Orange raincoat and a look of surprise
• Not really by the rules, but...
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• I never even went to Las Vegas, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
• I was Dan for fifteen minutes and I never want to be Dan again
• just because they never bothered to really do
• It's never really the past; it's always a version of your own time.
• Surprised by Joy
• A poem for two pages of panel art for a comic that was never written
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• "I was surprised to hear about the cat."
• I was taken by a honeymoon scam
• I am surprised by the calm rationality of this node
• I had never known someone whose death was imminent
• Was the Black Death really just Anthrax?
• I wish when I closed a book I could set it on the shelf and know it was really over
• I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23
• I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• she was waylaid by an octopus
• I was never broken
• Sex with my sister was always really, really good
• Five minutes after falling off the cliff, I realized how high it really was
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• I was raised by the French government
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
• What seemed like tenderness was really weakness
• That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
• Jacques Chirac was shot in the head by a fascist named Jean-Marie Le Pen
• Never define your value by the scale of someone else's weakness
• On feeling haunted by words which were never said
• My first and last attempt at a one night stand was raided by the police
• Being rejected by someone you really respect
• Food which was intended as such by nature
• There was a Man Dwelt by a Churchyard
• There never was a body that gave the undertaker a tip
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• Electronically, I was questioned by a mallard of flame...
• Why Socrates was really executed
• No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
• The real reason pi was never calculated to a high precision in ancient times
• Nostalgic for a time that I never experienced and for a person I never was
• World peace is a beautiful dream that will never be achieved by the human race
• the little friendship that never was
• I never really thought about it
• The Epidemic That Never Was
• It's really very silly, I was thinking, they are all acting so weird
• That Thursday the Universe was curved in the morning and was flat again by afternoon
• What was stolen by someone else
• Tribute to the Man Who Never Was (document)
• If I really loved you, you'd never get so close.
• I was not made for love songs, and love songs will never be made for me.
• Adam really was the first man
• I never really enjoyed destroying cities
• We were never really friends
• It was really hot, in a Silent Hill kind of way
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• Maxwell was certainly not surprised
• I was never any good at maths at school
• For one thing, he was sure his granny would never have used smack.
• My Singing was Stolen by Whispers to a False Friend
• the horrible gift was really quite right
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• The German textbook that was written by Morrissey
• Despite her station, the quarry was never alone
• She was most amazed by the obvious, like January and the fact that I could not possibly keep her.
• You can never really escape the fire
• I taste a liquor never brewed
• Why engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people
• Never trust anything that can think for itself
• Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a Live Nude Lesbian
• Always winter and never Christmas
• Time travel, as I think of it, will never be invented
• Never get involved in a land war in Asia
• it never thunders here i am jealous
• I never knew
• You'll never work in dis bidness again
• It's obvious you've never owned a vagina
• and never the twain shall meet
• I never remembered my dreams until they started being about you
• Some lovers (like the old you and I) never experience love at all
• I have never talked to you, yet I hate you
• straightening your pubes is never a good idea
• Really Good Dog Treats
• Kent Montana and the Really Ugly Thing From Mars
• The More You Suffer, The More It Shows You Really Care
• CHINA CLIPPER CALLING ALAMEDA: Opera, Britney, and a really big snake
• I wish I had been told what Schrödinger really meant
• really (user)
• From Sidon to Tyre, or Death Surprised
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
• Cybersex before it was cool
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• Do you remember when Everything was small?
• Wharfinger was no Shakespeare
• Even the moon was wrong
• She was very beautiful. Y'know?
• Gnocchi was my undoing
• The day I found out I was a guy
• She was buttery. She was asking for it. She was delicious. Let's all give in.
• The other day I saw a gas station called Space Age! I was not fooled!
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
• My purity was little stickers I willingly gave away in exchange for hearts
• Since Hector was a pup
• Go ni itte wa go ni shitagae
• There Once Was a Farmer
• Django Reinhardt was dead already
• Call now, operators are standing by.
• There was a man who lived a life of fire
• Social behaviour is determined by reproductive success
• Her self image was not the force field she imagined it to be
• Exit, pursued by a bear
• This was the shinest golden dollar I would ever see in my life and I was not about to tarnish it.
• Go by hand
• What was left was tiny
• David Merrick
• There was no one waiting for me...
• Snapple is manufactured by white supremacists
• No one older than twenty-five was stupid enough to take a job here.
• Amidala Got Back
• I did not miss what my body did not remember, until it was reminded
• Identifying a Music Record by the Grooves
• Sensei's recipes
• Fly by Night
• so my crowd was Catholic, Protestant, atheist, confused, and white
• Oh hey, by the way, he's the Antichrist
• Take the world by storm
• Led by the power of grief to wailings brought
• Scouted by the CIA
• Purifying Copper by Electrolysis
• Waiting to be wiped out by natural selection
• On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection : Chapter VII-B
• UN resolutions relating to Israel vetoed by the US
• how to simulate any random variable by tossing a coin
• Googlewhacking to estimate the number of pages indexed by Google
• Pragmatism by William James: Lecture IV: The One and the Many
• 6 by
• The lonely ones will find each other by the heat of their bodies
• Suicide by overdose
• The feral cat by the dumpster
• To die by your side
• 1970's fashions (by someone who wore 'em)
• Address by the President to the Nation on the Way Forward in Iraq
• drowning by dreams
• continuous functions are determined by their values on a dense subset
• bat wings by night
• Hostile takeover by the lesbian octopi
• The one my father never met
• How to crack root and not get caught
• A little Clint Black never killed anybody, but it did evacuate the building.
• You're never around when I need you
• I never ventured in the woods and got drunk and slept
• A Letter I Will Never Send
• Forever blue, but never black
• Letters I've written, never meaning to send
• The Music Never Stopped: Roots of the Grateful Dead
• You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again
• I've Never met a nice South African
• Never rely on an Artificial Intelligence to save you from fiery death
• Never light a bowl with a white lighter
• I never heard him say "I love you"
• Never Had It So Good
• And they never think these tools will fail.
• Never Gonna Give You Up
• Never fear, Anastasia
• What Germans do best
• I would really like to beat the crap out of someone
• The Really Lost Bus
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned

If you Log in you could create a "I was never really surprised by this" node. If you don't already have an account, you can register here.