1. A line from Fight Club.

2. My feelings exactly. When I feel like this, beware, because I'll vote down ANYTHING.

Strangely enough, seeing ugly things alone doesn't trigger this sentiment. It's seeing the beauty underneath what we previously thought was ugly. Stupid people may piss me off, but they don't make me want to destroy something beautiful. Now, a sudden realization that that stupid asshole is just like me in a lot of ways, that he or she could really be the bomb but for, say, a little courage...THAT will throw me straight into Godzilla mode.

Sadly, it happens pretty often, too.
i was tired of the pain.
i wanted to hurt something in myself.
because i hate myself.
and i hate my body.

but my skin was beautiful.
one of the few parts of my body i don't loathe.
it was looking too pure that day.
and i was hating pure.
the skin couldn't stay that way.

all it took
was that skin
and a knife
and five minutes
and four jagged cuts now oozing blood
stairstepping up my arm.
and then i felt better.

because with the cuts
and the blood
and the pain
it was no longer skin that was pure.

it was then marred
and damaged
and ugly
and broken
like the rest of me.
and consistancy existed again.

i'd set out to devour beauty.
and i did.
and life made sense again,
it was easier to hate myself again,
because any illusion of right was gone again.

and the knife was set down,
and the cuts licked off then cleaned,
and work resumed again.
with beauty destroyed, life could resume.
and so it did.

So you want to destroy something beautiful?
The thoughts surface in your head.

How dare this thing be beautiful, when I'm so damn ugly.

You let the anger rise inside, like a demon spreading its wings and grinning all the while.
So you begin the destruction. Under your fists you feel it start to break, and you smile. When there is nothing left to destroy, you step back and look at your work. There it is, exactly how you wanted it. No longer beautiful.
But where is the satisfaction you had hoped for? You just stand there and stare, and you realise that where once was beauty is now just a reflection of your own ugliness. You feel regret, you try and make it beautiful like it once was. But no matter how much time you spend, it still just sits there, still just as ugly as you. It still just sits there, almost looking betrayed and confused by your actions. It still just sits there, and there is nothing you can do. What are you going to do now? Perhaps analyse the obvious metaphors? What a pathetic human being you are. You can't even like yourself, and now you are even more ugly than you were before.

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