Findings:
- I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
- when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
- I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
- They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
- It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
- Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
- I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
- Sorry, but I AM my fucking khakis
- The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
- The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
- What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
- Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
- November 4, 1995
- I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
- Welcome to Canada; we're closed for the playoffs
- Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
- Your smile was embarrassed. Your fingers were dew-covered. I am still smiling.
- They were looking for God but found religion instead
- All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
- This was their finest hour
- When the dead poets mobilize, they'll paint your picture on their planes
- There was a time when I was a better person
- Just standing there, wearing my boxers, in my driveway. I was watching the stormfront. You were watching me.
- When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
- Sometimes, when I am looking, no one is beautiful
- I used to fly like peter pan, all the children flew when I touched their hands
- They left the streets stained with blood, and their howling could be heard long after they were gone
- When she was bad
- I know you are, but what am I?
- The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
- When she woke up, her hands were still dreaming
- Nothing Matters When We're Dancing
- I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
- It's memories that I'm stealing, but you're innocent when you dream
- Climbing cherry trees when I was younger
- Back when grunge was still cool
- When Frederic Was a Little Lad
- I was watching through the window, you were going through the dances.
- I am blind when I want to be
- I am clothed when other people go almost naked through the frozen cities in winter
- Sometimes when I am wearied suddenly,
- Where were you when someone asked where you were when something happened
- Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
- Sorry for the inconvenience, but the beta has come to an end.
- We're sorry to inform you: Tony Orlando has been postponed
- How to tell when a journalist has no idea what they're talking about
- I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
- What am I doing here when I could be swimming with the dolphins?
- 1991-96 were more fun years, but I'll likely get more accomplished in the year 2000 alone
- the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
- I think I was a pterodactyl and you were the tiniest rodent
- Were you really expecting to only learn true things when you signed up for this class?
- I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
- He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
- The dynasty made people die in nasty ways. This mess was necessary and they're not sorry.
- And the Hippos were Boiled in their Tanks
- It has become the time of evening when people sit on their porches
- Do you remember when Everything was small?
- It was daylight when you looked up from your ditch
- When I am King
- I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
- I can't remember when I fell but I love it down here
- Parents who force their children to eat when they're not hungry
- How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
- This was when I knew my childhood was over
- When We Were Orphans
- When the lilacs were in bloom
- We're one, but we're not the same
- But life is hard when the written word is your first language
- that moment of panic when you flush the toilet but nothing goes down
- When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
- Once when I got like this I thought I was building a boat
- The smiles you smiled when you thought no one was looking
- I look better when I am wet
- When am I an adult?
- I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
- when we were children
- When you were my baby
- And when she turned into a man, we were so proud
- Starling, you were right. I am the jealous kind.
- Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
- Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
- Death arrived shortly thereafter, but we were both far too busy to bother with one another just yet
- How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
- These images in their contrivance were the utter epitome of unconscious inertia
- When I Was a Lad
- it doesn't matter who I was, all that matters is who I am
- Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
- The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
- The flowers smiled, but she was gone
- Butterflies are passive aggressive and put their problems on the shelf, but they're beautiful
- Waiting until dusk, when it was safe
- When I was 9
- I am a mathematician, but I am also an artist
- The four problems of surgery, how they were overcome, and when
- The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
- Questions I would ask my born-again sister, if we were still talking
- The hostages wrote thank you cards to their captors when they got home.
- You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
- When I was five
- When I was young
- collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
- I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
- Thank you for everything and I am sorry for everything
- When we were little kids, running
- You were a bookmark to the time when I loved every sunrise
- There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
- That's a valid point, but right now we're focusing on...
- Boston sports fans and their teams: A brief but angsty perspective
- The fire behind their eyes died slowly and silently until nothing but the shells remained
- Their Eyes Were Watching God
- The dark riders were not sleeping. They were only resting their eyes.
- He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
- Forgive me for who I am when I wake up
- Where were you when the Eschaton arrived?
- Where were you when the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded?
- Going by the script when talking to people
- When I Was a Babe
- You were here when I fell asleep
- When Things Were Rotten
- Things people put up their butts
- When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
- When I was five years old, I knew I was going to die
- When We Were Mud
- Since when am I a size 6?
- Mandibular block injection
- I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
- Once upon a time there was an ocean but now there is a mountain range.
- When H.A.R.L.I.E. Was One
- Here were the words I was waiting for, without the part I wanted
- I was shot through the heart, and you were to blame.
- Oh, when I was in love with you
- When I Was A Baby
- When were the gospels written?
- Where were you that Saturday when it rained?
- Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
- The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
- When I Was Cruel
- someday, when she will think back upon the time when she was as yet undishonored
- To tell the truth I am never happier than when I am a kangaroo
- What we talked about when we were reading around the subject
- It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
- strange and too short but I was lonely
- The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
- The monkey children were everywhere back then. Their fedoras littered the roads.
- When I was Fair and Young
- I am no doubt moving. The question now is not where, but how. My life changes everyday. Big deal.
- and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground
- Sometimes, when no one is looking, I am beautiful
- When I was very young, I knew that the world was made of honey.
- Silly things we believe when we're kids
- I need these blue and black halos for comfort, to remind me where I am, who I am, when I am
- I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
- I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
- A poem I wrote when I was 5
- I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
- When I was ten years old
- I am no longer the foolish young man I once was
- I walk triumphantly through a sea of dead things. I am their master.
- But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
- When the Ram and the Pig Went to the Forest to Live on Their Own
- When each had their own personal anthem
- He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
- but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
- I said I was sorry. Then she looked at me.
- Ever seen two people talking to each other in their sleep?
- More of The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
- Their dreams were scrawny stray dogs
- When we was fat ( ... or, Lord Gym)
- When I Was a Boy
- When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
- back when our blood was still warm
- When you fly like thunder, I am reminded of Icarus and Bellerophon. How does your myth end?
- Here you are, here I am, here we were
- I will make him promises, but not ones I am afraid to break
- It will be good when I am leader
- I am a freakin' dynamo when it comes to adding single-digit numbers
- I remember when the buildings were newly fallen
- I was shaking, but not from the cold
- If only the spaghetti westerns were half as good as their titles
- Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
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