I am going to pretend that you never said those things. I will look out over the grossly velvet lake, bloated with too much algae. My eyes will skim over the sick oily sheen and look up into the trees. I will rewrite your words.
I do not want to believe my ears.

You did not tell your husband that the lake was ugly and look at that gross dead fish and the scum and could you please go get some Chinese takeout now? You did not mutter that the homeowner's association should fill in that nasty swamp in your lovely, manicured backyard.

Here are the words that I am putting in your mouth. I promise to make them taste even nicer than Chinese takeout.

You ask your husband why the pond is covered in nasty, pukey velvet scum. He tells you it is algae. You ask him why it has multiplied so rapidly and taken over the pond, choking out the other aquatic life. He tells you that it feeds on the nitrogen runoff from your lovely manicured lawn. You gasp, horrified. You remember reading a magazine article about 500 different types of grass being researched for various uses. You go home and do your homework. You find a type of grass with fine, satiny blades and a rich green color. You get your lawn reseeded. You cancel the TruGreen man's biweekly visits.
No, the lake is not presto instantly clean and healthy. But you did not whine and walk away.

This seems naive until you realize that it is not about treehugging. This is not about pushing my strange affection for Ecotopia on you. This is about action. This is about getting off of your idle butt and doing something besides complaining.

I dare you.

there will be no puppytouching here

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