Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I'm sure you're wondering why you've found me naked in your garage with a packet of glow-in-the-dark condoms and your elderly corgi..."

• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• If you're not sure whether or not you've been had, then you've already been had.
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• You'll never know how much you've changed me
• Nobody fly with me; I'm cursed
• Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts
• youre losing me
• Take me drunk, I'm home
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• "I'm sure your song is beautiful," she laughed
• Fuck me if I'm wrong
• You're a girl to me, plain and simple.
• I'm a celebrity... get me out of here!
• You nature lover / you country punk / you bowl me over / I'm not that drunk
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• You're not the boss of me
• You beat it in me, that part of you/But I'm gonna split us back in two
• I'm not sure I know how to neuter your cat
• Don't get me wrong - I'm a feminist
• just because you've forgotten doesn't mean that you're forgiven
• I won't take your protests seriously unless you're naked or on fire.
• So - you've been making love to me ten thousand miles away - how tantalizing.
• Two condoms, she makes me wear
• Stop Me (If You've Heard This Before)
• my old boss is dying, and I'm not sure what to feel
• I'm not sure
• Someone takes care of me and I squirm like I'm caught in a lie
• Kiss Me, I'm Chris
• Don't touch me when I'm on a boat
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• Don't get me wrong; I'm not a feminist
• Do you love me now, Daddy? Do you think I'm pretty?
• I'm taking all I have to take, this taking's gonna shape me
• You're so beautiful you wake me in my sleep
• I can't decide if what you're saying is too profound for me to comprehend or just insane
• I'm burning too brightly, begging you to smother me.
• I'm glad you're here.
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• why am i me, and you're you?
• Maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen
• Once you're through with me, relegate me to memory
• Once you realize you're in charge of your own mood, you've only got yourself to blame.
• For As Long As You've Known Me
• Women want me when I'm taken
• I'm gay, but I'm not sure it's genetic
• Now that sex is a marketing strategy, I'm not sure I enjoy it anymore
• Tell me what I'm supposed to be feeling
• Oh, look at me, I'm so drunk
• Love me till your heart stops. Love me till I'm dead.
• I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!
• Don't hate me because I'm evil
• Dude, check me out. I'm like a little otter, a sexy little otter!
• I'm up, he sees me, I'm down
• The monster stares back at me. I'm still young enough to believe that, with the right shoes, I can outrun it.
• Charmed, I'm sure
• You Burn Me Up I'm a Cigarette
• I'm a Chicken-Hawk, and I'm gonna eat me some chickens
• I'm reading this like you're chewing with your mouth full
• I'm OK, you're not OK
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• You're A Woman, I'm a Machine
• Don't Hug Me I'm Scared
• Strike me down - I'll be everything I'm not
• I'm drowning and you're describing the water
• send me your muzzle, the one that you've been biting on
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• Sure, as soon as you get me back on an orbital platform
• well im sure (user)
• Correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I'll eat a bug
• Whereas a Naked White Man, when I met one, always appear'd a new Object unto me
• Recipe for Tomato Soup, unless you're like me, in which case it's a recipe for tomato stew
• When you're loving me, I love you most
• You'd better quit sticking your thumbs in your belt loops like that. You're giving me bad ideas.
• Smoke that cigarette fast, baby. You've got less time than me.
• Yes, dammit I am sure I want to delete it. While you're at it, empty the trash, too!
• huddling in the corner because you realize you're naked
• i know you're out there; i just wish you were here with me
• And You're Wondering How a Top Floor Could Replace Heaven
• You've got to be kidding me
• when you're ready to touch me again
• She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
• Get off me Daddy, you're crushin' my cigarettes!
• I'm rubber, you're glue
• I'm a bloke. Shoot me.
• Don't rush me, I'm fragile
• I'm so toasty, you could spread jam on me
• I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
• Don't miss me until I'm dead
• Look at me mammy I'm dancin I'm dancin
• I asked a friend to draw me, and I'm scared of what I'll see
• I'm OK, You're OK
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• I'm so shallow, a new t-shirt makes me happy
• A funny thing happened to me in the parking garage today
• I'm so sorry my brain works that way
• Don't touch me when I'm screaming
• I Was Lost and You Found Me
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• Tell me what God is like, cause I'm starting to forget
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• I'm changing the climate! Ask me how
• I'm not in love, set me free
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Break me. I'm elated.
• The sheer fact that I'm in a developing country should make me a better person, yes?
• I'm Just Me (user)
• Please let me wake up and find myself found
• Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying
• I'm ok, you're ok, that's ok, ok?
• I like the way I'm doing it better than the way you're not
• I'm waiting for what will make me stand still the rest of my life
• Shag Me, I'm Famous
• It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
• I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me
• Gosh! That single kiss made me feel like I'm charged up with the power of a million exploding suns!
• You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
• They hate me because I'm beautiful
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• You're Gone Now. And I'm (Not) Sorry.
• I'm sure gonna miss those brain cells
• And while the angel and the succubus are arguing, I'm trying to make sure Faust doesn't stop breathing
• this writeup made me hungry like DAMN so I'm chinging it!
• Dude, check me out. I'm like a little auditor, a sexy little auditor!
• Notice Me, I'm Here
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
• I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
• i'm not sure but i'm listening
• If you're hungry, blame me
• Let me fall until I believe, you're more than the leaves
• you think i'm confused? you're not confused enough.
• Excuse me sir, you're making a scene
• You don't know what you're missing without me
• You're like a brother to me
• You're the best thing that ever happened to me, no matter what
• some sort of electric light, i'm not really sure
• It’s memories that I’m stealing, but you’re innocent when you dream
• I still haven't found what I'm looking for
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• New York I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down
• You've been slowly taking me over for nearly a year, do you know that?
• you can only make me dizzy if you're spinning me in leaves or snowflakes
• In response to you telling me I have the bluest eyes you've ever seen
• You've Asked Me When I Came to Town
• She found me on public transportation
• The Condom Game
• Why women should carry the condoms OR the moist towelette theory
• The History of Condoms
• Medieval Condom
• Distribution of condom prices in Flagstaff, AZ
• Hydrate, Moderate and Use a Condom
• Elderly
• Biological Defense Mechanisms of The Elderly
• Hearing Aids and the Elderly
• Why elderly women should drink more alcohol to prevent osteoporosis
• Blumfeld, an Elderly Bachelor
• Japan and the Elderly
• Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue.
• you've been through something that no one should have to go through
• Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
• Found Art Log: 9/26/00
• Lost & Found
• Found Poem
• Found sleep and, now I know tired
• Edwin Found Jesus in His Big Baggy Jeans
• She found her bliss between the headphones, and pursed her lips.
• Found on Bancroft Avenue
• 404 Not Found
• How the Wizard Found Dorothy
• Lost and Found (user)
• we found an old letter
• How I found out there wasn't a Santa Claus
• I found $100 today

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