• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
• Fuck me if I'm wrong
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
• We once played this same game, but with only our words
• If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
• I'm angry, and tired, and sad, and I just don't want to deal with it right now, so fuck off
• text me when you're ready to fuck
• You nature lover / you country punk / you bowl me over / I'm not that drunk
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• I'm sorry sir, but it appears that the abyss hasn't put you on the guest list...
• Take me drunk, I'm home
• I'm not in love, set me free
• Someone takes care of me and I squirm like I'm caught in a lie
• To the three girls who stopped me today on my way to class
• I'm so goddamned cruel to you. But you'll never know
• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• There's someone in my head but it's not me
• Fuck me like you fucked that horse
• fuck me with a chainsaw
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt oriented wardrobe
• I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt
• What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
• Don't rush me, I'm fragile
• Kiss Me, I'm Chris
• A funny thing happened to me in the parking garage today
• You may think I'm lying, but it's true
• I'm tone-deaf, but it's okay
• I'm not homophobic but...
• Fuck me harder
• Fuck you, I'm a Hindu
• I'm waiting for what will make me stand still the rest of my life
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me
• The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
• The "Look at me! I'm breaking the law!" problem
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• I may dream in technicolor, but I trip the fuck out in old-school black and white
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• Women want me when I'm taken
• I'm gay, but I'm not sure it's genetic
• You know to me she's but a fetish
• You say you love; but with a voice
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• Arguing with my father has never achieved anything for me ever
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• Today I'm glad I work in a diner
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• he touched me then, but I forgot to feel
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• The time my father caught me having sex
• Fuck me boots
• Don't get me wrong; I'm not a feminist
• Don't touch me when I'm screaming
• You Burn Me Up I'm a Cigarette
• I'm up, he sees me, I'm down
• Drink to Me Only With Thine Eyes
• I will marry only he who defeats me in battle
• "Excuse me, but could you drop your large backpack somewhere else, please?" A (almost) christmas nodermeet in the East End
• I Think I'm a Pervert, But I'm Totally Over It
• tied up now fuck me (user)
• I'm Only Sleeping
• Touch me I'm sick
• On two concert, I'm shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane
• Advice my father gave me before I left for college
• Nobody fly with me; I'm cursed
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• Being a dickhead
• Don’t worry, this is only a costume that makes me look like an adult
• Women are from Earth, but men only wander it
• I'm a bloke. Shoot me.
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• this writeup made me hungry like DAMN so I'm chinging it!
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• It's debatable, I know, but I'm still right
• Fuck you; I won't do what you tell me!
• I'm so sorry my brain works that way
• Tell me what God is like, cause I'm starting to forget
• I'm a celebrity... get me out of here!
• they only gave me trouble anyways
• But I'm a Cheerleader
• I'm no fucking Buddhist, but this is Enlightenment.
• Every programmer is incompetent but me.
• I may be young, but I'm not naive
• I'm a Chicken-Hawk, and I'm gonna eat me some chickens
• Don't get me wrong - I'm a feminist
• I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!
• The sheer fact that I'm in a developing country should make me a better person, yes?
• We all love movies and books about us owning ourselves
• Give me chastity and continency, but not yet
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• Correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I'll eat a bug
• Love me till your heart stops. Love me till I'm dead.
• The Tesla Coil made me cry, but I got a free lunch out of it.
• I considered cutting my toenails, but they're my only natural defense
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• fuck it, I love you even if I'm gonna feel like shit
• I'm so shallow, A new T-Shirt makes me happy
• I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
• Break me. I'm elated.
• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• Think there's too much violence in society today? Maybe, but consider this:
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• If you're not going to worship me, get the fuck out of my bed
• Look at me mammy I'm dancin I'm dancin
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• Butt's Twelve by Pies
• Oh, look at me, I'm so drunk
• If you can't help it, fuck it!
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• How to assassinate a third world despot with only a butt plug and a litre of raspberry coulis
• I'm poor, but I'm happy
• Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned
• Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
• I'm changing the climate! Ask me how
• Only Jesus can judge me
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• Fuck them all but the six
• Yes, i am an utter bastard, so your hate and hurt feelings only amuse me
• I'm cold, but I'm happy
• Girls possess me but they're never mine.
• Tell me what I'm supposed to be feeling
• Don't touch me when I'm on a boat
• Gosh! That single kiss made me feel like I'm charged up with the power of a million exploding suns!
• I feel like shit today, but I can always feel worse tomorrow
• Think of something you always wanted to do, but are afraid of. Do it today.
• The body's alive, but no head. I'm having a lot of trouble accepting it.
• Roll me over and fuck me again
• Don't miss me until I'm dead
• The monster stares back at me. I'm still young enough to believe that, with the right shoes, I can outrun it.
• She only wants me for tech support
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• For my father, in the event he finds me
• Fuck this; I'm having butter
• fuck me and marry me young
• I'm not even supposed to BE here today!
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• She Fucks Me
• Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts
• I'm not a rocket scientist, but
• I'm not a god, but I'm working on it
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• It’s memories that I’m stealing, but you’re innocent when you dream
• I'm nothing but a flower falling off a winter stem
• Fuck me
• Get Me Away from Here, I'm Dying
• Until today, it really pissed me off that I'd become this totally centered Zen Master and nobody had noticed
• I'm not pregnant, but thanks for asking
• I used to like it, but it makes me sick to the stomach
• There were only twelve raindrops, she counted them on the windshield under heavy soft skies
• I asked a friend to draw me, and I'm scared of what I'll see
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
• Two shadows walk with me as my only allies
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Nobody Knows It But Me
• Why do people only think I'm hot when I'm not available?
• Do you love me now, Daddy? Do you think I'm pretty?
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• I ought to be grateful, but instead I'm angry
• I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
• Dude, check me out. I'm like a little otter, a sexy little otter!
• I'm Just Me (user)
• you can only make me dizzy if you're spinning me in leaves or snowflakes
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• Don't hate me because I'm evil
• I'm not anorexic, but I'm working on it
• I'm never watching the Today Show again
• I'm only emo on my days off
• Sororities are nothing but social crutches
• It's cold today, but not cold enough for an ice storm
• I'm not racist but...
• Fuck Me General Public Disclaimer
• I'm so toasty, you could spread jam on me
• She only wants me for sex
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• Words that sound dirty but really aren't
• You can see right through me
• There are many like it, but this one is mine
• You give me wings. Don't be surprised if I fly.
• Streets thick with wild chaos and cigarette butts
• When I asked Anna to marry me

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