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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I'll just have to hope when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me."

• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• You should have killed me when you had the chance
• You just have to tell me these things, okay?
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• How to flip a coin when you haven't got one
• I have always wanted someone to say to me what you just said
• The Weddings I have Performed, or Why God is Gonna Kill Me
• My recent perfect date has given me hope
• Hello, I take Zoloft. I am so gloriously mentally ill! You will love me, yes?
• Someone please kill me
• That witch does not kill me, makes me stronger
• That which does not kill me...
• How The Original Pancake House nearly killed me
• Lady Evolution, why have you wronged me so?
• You have the right to be angry at me for breaking my heart.
• I'll give up printf() when you pry my cold dead fingers from it
• kill him dead; don't call me
• curiosity killed the cat, but it never hurt me
• Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned
• Could you have danced with me?
• when all the white horses have broken free
• The FOOLS! They laughed at my theories at the university, but I'll have my revenge! I'll have my REVENGE!
• That plastic duck just keeps STARING at me!
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• Who needs genetic cloning when we have The Gap?
• You have no power over me
• When people say "All-American", they seldom mean me.
• Give me an hour and I'll give you your dreams
• Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
• I just had a pap smear, for crying out loud. Don't invite me out for coffee.
• Strangers have been, and continue to be, very kind to me. Thank you.
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• He just wanted to give me something he forgot to give me a long time ago
• When time travel in science fiction just doesn't make any sense
• Just standing there, wearing my boxers, in my driveway. I was watching the stormfront. You were watching me.
• When a boy comes over, always have something baking
• I have been orbiting this planet for thirty-seven years, and am just now starting to experience reentry (document)
• It's not worth thinking about. Have some tea. Come walk with me.
• I've crossed lines of words and wire, and both have cut me deep
• Marry me and I'll buy you a new computer
• I knew that. My brain just chose to withhold that information from me.
• just give me an easy life and a peaceful death
• A pretty sky just gets me wound up, and my head starts pounding. The city doesn't need a sky.
• Will eating a urinal cake kill me?
• kill me (user)
• Dreamy things people have said to me
• What to do with that insane amount of shaving cream you have just lying around
• When I too long have looked upon your face,
• It could have been me
• What will happen to me, when you die?
• That isn't a vortex, you just have a hummingbird in your ear
• For White Girls Who Have Considered Afro Hair Products/When the Conditioner is Enuf
• They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
• If you ask me about winter, I'll tell you about
• She kissed me gently, just once, then walked away crying
• Why not just kill yourself?
• When is a name just a name?
• i Kill Strangers, Stay Away From Me
• When people ask "Where are you from?" I have to think for a minute
• just to have some human contact
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I have built me a bean-stalk into your sky!
• Don't touch me when I'm on a boat
• Ayn Rand just doesn't work for me
• he tried to kill me with a forklift
• When I have female children
• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy
• Have you ever made a just man?
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
• How long do you think I'll let you keep me here?
• even if it's just to smoke with me by this brick wall
• When oil recycling plants explode
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• In a coma you don't dream; you just hope that someone sits with you
• I'll explain it when you're older
• Maybe someday I'll be an M&M the color of your eyes
• when the wind is blowing just right
• it's just me (user)
• I would like for love not to kill me, please
• How Warrant nearly killed me
• A Bunch of Guys Who Just Happen To Have Instruments
• Shall I tell you stories of other stars: stars that you love, that deserve your love. Stars that do not disappoint, and disgust, and disgrace your love. Oh, I have hope they exist for your sake!
• Oh, False One, You Have Deceived Me
• I need these blue and black halos for comfort, to remind me where I am, who I am, when I am
• If not me, who? If not now, when?
• How an X-acto knife nearly killed me
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• But I have seen the sun just once
• You can have great armfuls of just such roses as these.
• If you ask me about summer, I'll tell you about
• I cried when I wrote this song, sue me if I play too long
• Give me a minute, I'll change your mind.
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• Who needs another person when you have yourself?
• Just because you both have the same problem does not mean you are one another's solution
• Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you have a social life
• If it were a snake, it would have bit me
• have given my heart away just as carelessly and as meticulously planned as ever
• Who needs love when you can have death?
• I Hate It When It Happens To Me
• Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• how my computer nearly killed me
• She kills me
• That which doesn't kill me makes me breakfast
• I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you
• When we have reached the end of time and light
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• times when i have said: i wanted to write
• Tell me how you want to die, and I'll tell you who you are
• When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat your damn lemons
• Her hair, tangled
• Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
• I'm Just Me (user)
• One must trust in the law, and keep within the heart the knowledge that the law of this world is the same right and just law that governed us when we were merely stars.
• She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
• 1,340,666 women just like me
• Wouldn't it be much easier if you just agreed with me?
• And the sad thing is, I know what's going to kill me
• What you should REALLY do when you have too many votes on your hands.
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• Somehow Love Discovered Me
• He makes me feel alone just by being there
• How Airborne School nearly killed me
• It kills me to watch them go
• Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me
• Know your pets
• When You Said, "Remember Me"
• Of course, first you have to kill him
• Let him hold out hope that someone or other might come. Then fuckin' kill him.
• Girls Just Want to Have Fun
• Women want me when I'm taken
• Laugh when you have been listening well
• Don't touch me when I'm screaming
• To a Poet, who would have me Praise certain Bad Poets, Imitators of His and Mine
• Call me back when hair starts growing on his palms
• Khaled Islambouli
• I asked a friend to draw me, and I'm scared of what I'll see
• I'll show you yours if you show me mine
• One more day like today and I'll kill you
• Keep a room somewhere for me, I'll find it on my way back.
• My mother also taught me how to quickly kill and clean game
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• To win the game you must kill me, John Romero
• I sincerely hope you have one of these somewhere in your life.
• when strangers tell me to smile
• a bad day is when I lie in the bed and think of things that might have been
• Whereas a Naked White Man, when I met one, always appear'd a new Object unto me
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• I Love You ... I'll Kill You
• This silence, it hurts me, just so you know
• Can't you just fall in love with me already?
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• A letter to those who have impressed me
• Strange things homeless people have said to me
• What to do with insane amounts of insulation foam you have just lying around
• A time when a gun might have been helpful
• Somehow he reminds me of my mother
• Buying things just because they have cool packaging
• two guys who have killed scores of imaginary people
• I'll become what you became to me
• I'll get there when I get there
• How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
• "Let's just be friends" does not give you permission to stalk me
• When is a monkey's orgasm more than just fun and games?
• But beauteous fields lie just before me
• Why won't several thousand Volts of static electricity kill me?
• No, but I'll have a beer
• Things Musicals Have Taught Me
• For God's sake, just have another election
• Sometimes, you have to say to yourself: It just doesn't matter.
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• You've Asked Me When I Came to Town
• You gave me wings when you showed me the birds
• When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire
• I think I'll just go to sleep in this snow bank.
• I never lie to you, I just allow you to misunderstand me
• Just Let Me Breathe
• It's just the three of us - you, me, and all that stuff we're so scared of
• When you kill people they die

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