Note: This went sent to me by a very special friend to post. Thanks Shannon.

My son Wynn has autism. As a result, his social skills are stunted. Neverless, he still longs for friendship and human kinship even though he rarely knows how to properly initiate conversations. When he was 7 or 8, he went through a phase where he would approach strangers with survey-type questions such as: "Excuse me, Sir. Are you married or are you happy?" or "Excuse me, Lady. Have you always been so old?" or, my personal favorite, "Excuse me, Girl. How did you grow up to be a fat woman?" As you can imagine, he didn't make many friends for either one of us, and I spent a lot of time apologizing and feeling embarrassed (though I have to say, his questions were actually quite relevant). 

When Wynn was 10, he entered the phase of being totally enamored with men who had facial hair. In his attempt to interact with his subject of interest, he would approach each man in need of a shave with the phrase, "My mom really likes your beard." He would then proceed to shove me and my glowing red face in the direction of his new acquaintance. Thanks to Wynn, I have flirted with a lot of five o'clock shadows in my time....

Currently, at age 12, Wynn has become much more direct in his social encounters with others. He is methodical and to the point as he follows this simple two-step formula: first give the person a compliment, and then ask the person a short, personal question. More specifically, he bluntly would say, "I like you. Why are you so weird?" No matter your age, color, or size, he would use the same two-step formula to greet all those he meets. "I like you. Why are you so weird?" are his classic lines. It is amazing to see how effective such a transparent approach has proven to be. I have watched countless people who were taken off guard, become completely real in just a matter of seconds. Usually, the individual of interest would laugh at first and then subsequently explain their particular "weirdness."

It is rather humbling to be a witness to such confessions and yet it is also heartwarming to see the walls between two human beings come down as the bond between a young child and an adult unfolds. Now, my son with autism has many, many friends. I have now learned from him exactly how to make a true friend.
 

The Architect gave me the secret to mind control ;)

I think there are two important things - that may actually be different aspects of the same thing:

1. People want to feel superior, not inferior. This means don't put them down, don't insult them - not even in a joking way if you can help it. Say good things about them, honest flattery if possible, joking flattery if necessary. If you can help it, try not to make them feel superior at the expense of someone else. Instead of "Wow, you draw so much better than Steve" say "Wow, that drawing is really awesome".

2. Try to think of ways in which you can transform the competitive aspects of your interactions into cooperative relations instead. Like if you're going bowling or to a pool hall, somebody is definitely going to win - this can work against #1 above and make someone feel inferior. So stop playing so seriously - you don't need to win, and you don't need to feel bad if you were focusing on the social aspects of playing, rather than the technical aspects of the game. If you can help your friends improve their game, do it (but try not to do it in a I'm-only-helping-because-I'm-superior way). If you can be a wingman do it.

Not everyone is worthy of being your friend though. If they're the type that regularly puts you down, ditch them for those that are more worthy.

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