Homonym-verse contest

Dew yew knot sea? Eye scent ewe won grate rime.
Butt witch eye rote, two here won peace inn thyme,
Witch adze incite buy awl wheys wee meh youse,
Wen red allowed--isle weight four yew two chews.
Inn-sighed yore hart, won sole sew preys too bear,
Wood yew than no, weather eyed bin threw their.
Sew mach know moor, watt leis hear four yore I's,
Eh feet two beet, yew knead seas too-daze pries!!




The rules of this challenge are simple:

Write a poem of at least two rhyming couplets, wherein all (or at least almost all) of the words are homonyms. This may be harder than it sounds, so free passes are given for the words "and" and "the." Credit will be given for use of both letters and numerals ("O I C U 8 1 2", "Inn yore I's yew T's; sew N's hour tail") and for multisyllabic equivalencies, running both ways ("Alaska men-knee thymes" for "I'll ask her many times"). In a pinch, I will accept "poor coupon" as a homonym for "porcupine" if a note is provided indicating that coupon is being pronounced with a "q" sound, as it sometimes is.

Bonus points will be given for the incorporation of awful puns, like:

Eye red yore sole, and sew eye blue yore mined.

Or

Threw sew grate ey feet ewe heeled yore sole.

Winners will get C!s, accolades, gp prizes of 300 for the winner and 150 for the runner up, and much love.

Deadline to submit a contest entry: High Noon, L.A. time on April 1, 2014 May 1, 2014!!

(You could even write one for BrevityQuest14!!)

I thought eye'd at least try and get in the spirit of the thing, starting with an old favourite:

YY U R

YY U B

I C U R

YY 4 me

 

and a quick attempt of my own:

Ewe R YY,

U here my size?

Aye morn allowed,

Eh feet two-prowed,

4 me 2 beet

And sew eye seed.

 

Eye fink aisle rite sum moor

Butt watt too rite?

Aye know knot watt too poot,

Aye knead two fink watt suits.

Faeries fowl, anne foley's fare.
Dares a day seeing yaw hare.

whities their? Eye wood knot no.
sept I 8 2 C U sew.

paps some feller, knot 2 chased.
ingot is and bellow yore waste.

andy leyed U oh-very-silly.
and you knighted the plaices ware U P.

 

This makes most sense if spoken with a west country accent (uk).