Findings:

• Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• You were the one beam of light in my life; I responded by putting on sunglasses.
• if Gerry Stern were dead, he'd roll over in his grave
• The day we were married the leftover doves from his days of being a magician hummed little love songs in the attic
• I fixed my body image issues by looking at people as if they were dogs
• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• Tribute by Senator Edward M. Kennedy to his Fallen Brother, Robert
• She walked by his desk and left a nickel
• Technically, it's unlikely you were dropkicked by Jesus
• In the end, he could quiet his mind only by dying
• An Account of the Bash at Bier Baron in Celebration of CassParadox's Upcoming Migration to the West Coast, Wherein We Were Loved by All, and Even the Manager Sent Over Free Cream Puffs
• Fossils were put there by God
• Amakuni once drew an old sword of his from a box, suddenly overjoyed by something he had cast aside.
• If only Che Guevara were a revolutionary in his own country
• Those are pearls that were his eyes. Look!
• Speech given by a U.S.M.C. Drill Instructor to his platoon, Camp Pendleton, 1998
• Since his eyes were like perfect packed suitcases
• Phosphor reading by His own Light
• The dead eat hope. We had none to give them, so they were pretty emaciated by the end.
• RFC 602
• The logical inclination to hate shoe stores: A Study In Progress By Avoiding the Unavoidable
• YHWH declares that the substitution of LOVE with FUCK is punishable by AIDS; man responds by covering his member with plastic
• Upon the Translation of the Psalms by Sir Philip Sidney, and the Countess of Pembroke, his Sister
• and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground
• But an unchewed square catches in his windpipe and he crumples to the floor like someone poisoned by life
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• On feeling haunted by words which were never said
• They hate us because we're wonderful
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• Programming by approximation
• Shot Down by the Burbank Police Department
• by (user)
• Now is the winner of our discount tent made gory in slumber by this summoned orc
• Your face by starlight
• by your leave
• tied to electronic reality by the glittering threads of stolen bandwidth
• enslaved by machiner (user)
• Light by Lucian Blaga
• I am an adventurer not by choice, but by fate
• a collection of rubber bands sorted by length
• chapters marked by love notes from another man's wife
• King Features Syndicate
• If I didn't ask, I'd never know (how much you hate me)
• Why I hate chinks
• I hate this fucking orange cat
• I Hate the Capitalist System
• Your Boyfriend Hates You
• I REALLY hate this god damn robot
• cats hate bananas
• His girlfriend
• The Miller, His Son, and Their Ass
• The Fisherman and His Soul: Part 2
• Yes, I put Nair in his shampoo
• The Old Man and His Big Toe
• A guitar is easy in his hands / so is an airplane / so is a pen
• Edgar A. Poe's life is reflected in his works.
• St. Robinson in His Cadillac Dream
• Mick Foley winning his first WWF Championship
• no beer, so Henry orders a double espresso during his parole appointment
• Schrödinger killed his cat
• A fool's right to his tools of rage
• Synge and the Ireland of his Time: VIII
• George W. Bush and His Foray into Nuclear Physics
• warwalking antennas in his hat juiced and sniffing.
• How this broke ass college student manages his finances online
• His hand speaks a foreign language to her ribs.
• The man of his times
• To Robert Evans (as regards his getting older altogether suddenly)
• Your dashingly colored toupee twists my right boot into a state of ennui with the speed and dexterity of many lemon meringue-coated conquistadors
• Oliver Twist - Chapter 10
• Those were the days
• Behave as if there were a God
• The world would be in much better shape if our leaders were hamsters
• Tenchi, go get some more *hic* TEA!
• Our hearts were hard, but they were warm
• Where were you then?
• This is Saturday. We're not getting any older.
• The Shoes That Were Danced to Pieces
• We're all such products
• So There We Were
• In our youths our hearts were touched with fire
• Why were we created?
• And the Hippos were Boiled in their Tanks
• Maybe if we're lucky the person dreaming our lives will wake up
• The Attack by Fire
• Man Getting Hit by Football
• I got jacked by the FBI, CNN and amazon.com
• Attack by Stratagem
• Bhagavad-Gita - Religion by Self Restraint
• As Time Goes By
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• The ringing has been drowned out by voices
• Don't judge a band by the single
• Accidental discovery
• attacked by killer seagulls
• Declaration of War by the United States of America against Germany
• Portrait by A Neighbor
• Being licked to death by kittens
• Natural Selection by Kinder Egg
• Leaf by Niggle
• On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection : Chapter IV-A
• Proof by oddity
• The Classical Anthology defined by Confucius
• By Jupiter 1942
• Small by the ocean
• Mathematics education by explanation with logical proof
• England's Treasure by Forraign Trade
• The Goonies vs. Stand By Me
• Thoughts provoked by a new chair
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• the cloud formed by your breath darkens my sight!
• ALL WHO STAND IN MY WAY WILL DIE, BY STEEL!!!!!!!
• my mind has long been gnawed by the cankering tooth of mystery
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
• When your imaginary life is interrupted unapologetically by your real one
• Science Fiction Double Feature
• Why the RIAA hates Napster
• I hate enhanced CDs
• I Hate Myself
• I hate, therefore I am
• The ducks, however, hate everyone
• The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover
• His Royal Highness
• The Help moJoe find his Biological Mother Project
• How Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends wrecked my love life
• We decorated his van with crayons and fluorescent paints
• I'm not HIS sister; he's MY brother
• The Pilgrim's Progress: Author's Apology for his Book
• My heart is the shape of his car
• I wish I could open his eyes
• Pointlessness had become his answer
• The End of Atli and his Kin and Folk
• Mr. Mahoney and His Christian Wife
• His retribution is likely to be epic
• Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House
• His melancholy smile (user)
• His mother is slowly killing him.
• If her secrets spilled from her eyes into his
• Peppermint Twist
• 10 Forms of Twisted Thinking
• Warped and twisted
• We were never really friends
• We Two, How Long We Were Fool'd
• We've received your resume, and we're entering your credentials in our companywide database
• I wish I were close
• "But offstage things were falling apart..." is a registered trademark of VH1 Behind the Music
• If she were an insect, she'd be a moth in search of a flame
• Mistakes were made
• Welcome to Canada; we're closed for the playoffs
• 80 If We're Lucky
• All of her seconds were unencumbered
• The Way We Were
• How many glow worms were KIA?
• Her eyes were gray like a storm, and even more dangerous
• by
• Learning by doing
• "A Story", by Everythingians
• Bhagavad-Gita - Religion by Attaining the Supreme
• being beaten into an unhealthy state by other people's pasts
• Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator
• order by numbers
• learning by braille
• Misled by things I refuse to see
• Step by Step System
• Go By
• Ice sculptures formed by melting snow
• I was hit by a train that doesn't really exist
• On the carpet of leaves illuminated by the moon

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