Hey, YOU! Get off of my lawn!

by fool4luv

Tue Jan 17 2012 at 22:17:14

Hey, YOU! Get off o' my lawn!
(sung to the tune of Hey You get off of my cloud)

You know you're getting old when you find yourself saying:

What the HELL is going on with my eyebrows?
Where are my keys? (you find them in the freezer)
Why are these pants shorter now? They never used to drag on the ground.
Where are my glasses? Oh, right, they're on my head.
Oh great, a zit! Now is that a zit on a wrinkle, or does my zit have a wrinkle?
Eh? Eh? Speak up, why doncha?
Why the H - E - Double Hockey Sticks isn't this remote working? Oh. It's the phone.
I only want the computer to work, I don't wan't to become a damned computer programmer!
Dammitalltohell! Where the fuck are my glasses?
Who ARE these people on the covers of magazines at the checkout stand?
Kids, when I was young . . . wait, where are you going?

When I grow up (I want to be an old woman)	Don't call me "Generation X," call me a child of the Eighties	One more gray hair	Irascible
Weird, yet disturbingly satisfying feelings	We are a people in whose bodies old sea-seeking rivers roar with blood	Why old people piss me off	A chemist, an engineer and a computer programmer
Birth control glasses	Spend your youth on the sea, your old age on dry land	The mailbomb from the Christian Fundamentalists I pissed off should be here any day now	And Man Said, "Let There Be God."
karmic evitability	S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N	Nintendo Generation	The Heart Has its own Memory
Crotchety	osteoporosis

Everything2

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