Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Helen of Troy was a hag compared to her"

• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• She was never mine. I always shared her.
• Helen of Troy
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• little pieces of her tragically poetic attempts at being loved that she was startlingly aware of, today
• She was inside the music, with her eyes closed
• Her name was Natalie
• I don't remember what her name was so let's call her Doris
• The emotion on her face was always the one that she was feeling in her heart
• She always was devious in her beauty
• A dose of mystery slipped into her cocktail while she was in the ladies' room
• The sun was caught playing unashamedly in her auburn hair, setting our world on fire with giddiness
• She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings.
• Where was her angel all those times the sky clouded over
• I don't think I was rude to her, just cold and curt
• She was the prettiest, loveliest cat at the ball and she had upon her fine gilded whiskers.
• She was most amazed by the obvious, like January and the fact that I could not possibly keep her.
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• All he left her was alone
• it was just as if she held her breath for 82 years
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• I was sure it was her
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• His ex-wife was so frigid, her clitoris was only the tip of the iceberg.
• She was so quiet that nobody heard her
• All that was left of her was a damp handkerchief
• Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
• Her self image was not the force field she imagined it to be
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• I set my sister up with her husband, and all I got was this great dress and a trip to Hawaii
• nerd hag
• The New Helen
• Helen Paterson
• The Lark Burying Her Father
• putting on her makeup
• Property of Her Majesty The Queen
• using a circle to dot her "i"s
• The movie in her mind
• her breasts are her trademark
• I think I fell in love with her right then and right there
• Gudrun sends her Sons to avenge Swanhild
• Morrison's Lament
• She who leaves men as flaming wrecks in the ditch on the side of the road in her wake, yea, even submarines
• A salted moment of memories smudged across my face, and I’ve already forgiven her. It’s all over now
• He breaks her heart on a daily basis
• Testing her patience
• To Her Coy Mistress
• she's so virginal in her bodily extortion
• The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
• I was once stranded on a dessert island
• No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
• The first iron-on transfer I made myself was controversial
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• I was very, very drunk
• Where Once Life Was
• Even the moon was wrong
• When I Was a Lad
• The boy who was picked last in gym class
• The day I found out I was a guy
• I was a father for a few days
• It was a reasonable chat, I let him have it alone
• I think I was watching the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
• Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt
• It was all whirlwind, heat, and flash
• This is the time. The time was now. And now is then. This was the time.
• I Was an Atheist in a Foxhole
• Now that was a scary ending
• The land of our fathers, stolen before we knew it was our own
• I Thought I Was A Child
• I was watching through the window, you were going through the dances.
• There Was A Friend
• And when she came back she was nobody's wife
• Helen Garner
• Rosy Palm and her five daughters
• a total loss of control over her life
• her arms around me
• Stand in the doorway and watch her
• Wouldn't it be nice if I could remember her as a firework
• Her raised middle finger came into focus
• Dig up her bones
• i clung to her cloak. (or flew)
• Her achilles heel
• His and Her Circumstances
• I tried to memorise her, from beginning to end
• The Pope and Her Yaks
• The Nun in her Smock
• the linear and the docile go feral at her command. we're on the run from rogue rivers and predatory trains.
• echoes of her glisten in your eyes; i also tear but without linger
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President
• The train station was fucking freezing and
• Jesus was a black man
• I once dreamt that I was a c++ program
• It was the least I could do
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• I was in a blindfold taste test once...
• I turned Quizro into a Quiet Riot CD, and all I got was this jar of lemon-flavoured pickles.
• Where's the kaboom?
• I was my mom for a while
• The world was black and white
• Odysseus was not lying
• It was a Mary Tyler Moore moment
• You kissed me. It was sweet and timid.
• There was a man and a woman
• How was the play, Missus Lincoln?
• Everything was screaming: the sea, the sky, my heart.
• The room was hot
• How the Earth was destroyed
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• I was a teenage time traveling combat waitress
• Five minutes after falling off the cliff, I realized how high it really was
• Emerson, Thoreau, and Dickinson compared
• Helen Mirren
• Helen Burns
• Ribbed for her pleasure
• Making her presence known (Part 3)
• watching her dance
• Don't tell her she's beautiful
• Every beautiful woman has someone who is tired of her
• Reply (Crumpled on Her Desk)
• Ozma and Her Friends
• Ask her if she's got an answer
• We can meet her for you wholesale: a dreaming girl's singularity
• Catwoman: Her Sister's Keeper
• Her Space Holiday
• Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him
• I don't owe you sympathy. You owed it to her.
• i gave her my heart. she gave me a pen.
• The tears of the earth keep her smile in blooms
• Troy Dyer
• Marilyn Monroe was a size 16
• There was a rose that faded young
• Last time I was in Chicago I broke my ass
• Seriously, though, who the hell did I think I was going to become?
• deru kugi wa utareru
• No one was ever fired for buying IBM
• If I was a woman I'd be a feminist too
• Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter III
• My Johnny Was a Shoemaker
• When I was five
• How Eulenspiegel, along with the other boys, was made to eat too much bread
• and there was this girl
• I tried to arrange my life in paragraphs, unaware that I was a haiku
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• The smiles you smiled when you thought no one was looking
• This was not my going away party
• I had to call my father this evening and tell him I was dying.
• I Thought My Father Was God
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• She was watching me and I didn’t know it.
• It was better before they came
• If my heart was a computer, that night reformatted my hard drive
• I was put on hold for time to gnaw me raw.
• Helen Chasin
• Helen Adam
• The Woman and Her Hen
• I daydream of her
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• Uh, are you looking at my joystick to impress her, or are you just an asshole?
• after her, I took my coffee black
• You want to reassure her, but you don't know where to start
• Sheila and her Dog
• By Appointment to Her Majesty The Queen
• Even the moon likes to change her colors
• Kitty interrupts his murky float with the nail gun splash of her stiletto song
• I seduced her with late night laboratory thunder!
• She opened her eyes, looked at a world made entirely of white light
• The waitress unbuttoned her reticence slowly
• her eyes were brimming with souls
• i kissed her one last time, then walked out of her life forever
• I dug my claws in her heart
• Descartes was wrong
• Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• What was the question?
• Is And Is Not As It Was
• She was locked in time
• Why Smokey Bear was wrong
• I could do without it, if I knew what it was
• In the end it was always a stranger's hand
• Here were the words I was waiting for, without the part I wanted
• Before Time Was
• She was buttery. She was asking for it. She was delicious. Let's all give in.
• Truth was in that mountain
• I was invisible beside you
• The Blood Was Everywhere
• Crazy? I was crazy once.
• Jesus I was evil
• Jesus was a Gay Black Hippie Jew
• Not what was said

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