Findings:
- I married him because he was not mean
- Shaymus is older than I thought he was
- He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
- He Was a Crook
- He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
- Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
- The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
- Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
- All he left her was alone
- He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
- "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
- As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
- The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
- So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
- In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
- He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
- He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
- He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
- For one thing, he was sure his granny would never have used smack.
- The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
- She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
- When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
- He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
- She was coming out as he was going in.
- I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
- At least he was gentle
- He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
- She was buttery. She was asking for it. She was delicious. Let's all give in.
- It was 1992. He smiled.
- He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
- He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
- Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
- he listened so well, he was still curious.
- She grew a little older, while he was telling her
- When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
- The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
- It was late when he came home; it woke you up
- More than he was willing to give
- All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
- An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
- Tom, He was a Piper's Son
- The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
- He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
- Long and lean, he was a sex machine, and he schooled every girl in town
- I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
- I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
- He stretched out his arms but she was not there
- The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
- asking for the earth
- He's Gone
- great things he has taught us
- he just died
- He's not heavy, he's just lame
- Meditation III: Of God: that he Exists : 2
- Now he can be loved. Now he is no more.
- The cute kitten represents violence and carnage and, if he is lucky, the children look.
- he who sits in the heavens shall laugh
- God is not dead; he is merely unemployed.
- judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
- He said I'm better off without you, 'til I showed him my tattoo
- I fall in love with my migraine, every day he seduces me with a kiss.
- I kicked the Martian in his otherworldly balls, and he screamed like the solar wind howling through a planetary magnetosphere
- You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
- Which of the Bewitched Dicks was gay?
- Imagine if your microwave was intelligent
- Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
- There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
- I didn't know such things when I was young
- Wish I Was in Heaven Sitting Down
- What the hell was she thinking?
- I was a prisoner in a Mexican whorehouse
- When I was five
- Where the floodwaters went after the flood was over
- the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
- Sympathy for the Mongols & How The Rise of the West was just sheer Dumb Luck
- The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel
- The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.
- I Wish My Brother George Was Here
- When I awoke, I was alone, and screaming
- Bullet Proof... I Wish I Was
- When Desire Was a Virtue
- It was fall, and fall does strange things to us all
- Springsteen Was A Pirate
- Was fang ich an in dieser Stadt?
- I was the shadow of the waxwing slain
- I Dropped Out of School, and All I Got Was This Necklace
- At Least One Kitten was Obliterated
- The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
- I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
- this is unlike the story it was written to be
- Asking random people for wisdom
- Li He
- My brother never told me not to smoke. He showed me.
- He forgets I am my own fierceness; it's not for him
- He (user)
- Why Doesn't He Ask Me to Prom?
- She doesn't know what he sees, but sometimes it makes his face beautiful
- God Made Man Because He Loves Stories
- And as he sang the world began to fall apart
- The turkey, he faint
- He breaks her heart on a daily basis
- She lights everything up. He glows in the dark.
- if only he could hear my silent cries
- He never killed a man that did not need killing.
- as if he didn't exist
- pretends to sleep as he looks her over
- my only pin-up was Pelé
- I was a young boy that had big plans
- I was looking for you
- The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
- Conrad's dirigible was tipping
- How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
- It was all I could do not to cry
- I was in a commercial once
- To a girl who thought she was moving away
- If a black hole were created on Earth
- Like most of my dreams, that one was licensed for commercial use
- When I was ten years old
- When daddy was the handsome prince
- I was a nice guy once
- Jesus was a revolutionary
- My purity was little stickers I willingly gave away in exchange for hearts
- It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
- Jungle Wa Itsumo Hare Nochi Guu
- As I was saying to my goldfish
- strange and too short but I was lonely
- Fruit cut from the vine, forgot and left to rot, long before it was time
- Two of them. Hovering there like bloated gas giants in the heavens. Good God, it was beautiful.
- The universe was cold and dead and all the best aspects of humanity and its appreciation of the world were stored in electronic boxes
- That Thursday the Universe was curved in the morning and was flat again by afternoon
- this was supposed to be a parable about the power of the imagination
- Could you be any more of a poseur? 'Changes' was a best-of!
- Just standing there, wearing my boxers, in my driveway. I was watching the stormfront. You were watching me.
- When I Was a Babe
- Why, Martha, for the longest time there was no railway station in Slough!
- Oedipus-Schmedipus, as long as he loves his mother
- This guy in the computer lab who looks like he should be a doctor
- He Hate Me
- But an unchewed square catches in his windpipe and he crumples to the floor like someone poisoned by life
- He called around 5:30
- I knew enough about him to know his name and what kind of snowball he could make
- Because he feared the turn of seasons
- he faked murder (user)
- Sitting close enough that he gets the idea
- He taught me how to smoke
- He who has ears, let him hear
- Things I'll do now that he's gone
- The Walrus was Paul
- That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
- The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
- I was a homeless bum
- That Was The Week That Was
- If this was an Olympic Sport, I'd be world champion
- My first and last attempt at a one night stand was raided by the police
- Where there was fire I brought the gasoline
- I came, I saw and was undone
- I turned Quizro into a Quiet Riot CD, and all I got was this jar of lemon-flavoured pickles.
- Jack Was Every Inch a Sailor
- Shimmer over bridges like the river was a dream
- If over the hills was someplace new and forgotten
- The skyline was beautiful on fire
- She was never mine. I always shared her.
- The beggar who was too rich for my money
- Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
- The sexuality and marital status of Jesus
- A virtuous woman was a manly woman, in the womanly fashion of being manly
- This was my mountain. You call it your valley.
- Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
- And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
- If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
- The artifact was completely impenetrable to all forms of matter except living human flesh
- Your husband was a great man
- Jesus was not a reactionary reformer, learn your history bud!
- Petey Piper was a viper
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