Findings:

• I married him because he was not mean
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• He Was a Crook
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• All he left her was alone
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• For one thing, he was sure his granny would never have used smack.
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• At least he was gentle
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• She was buttery. She was asking for it. She was delicious. Let's all give in.
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• More than he was willing to give
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• Long and lean, he was a sex machine, and he schooled every girl in town
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• asking for the earth
• He's Gone
• great things he has taught us
• he just died
• He's not heavy, he's just lame
• Meditation III: Of God: that he Exists : 2
• Now he can be loved. Now he is no more.
• The cute kitten represents violence and carnage and, if he is lucky, the children look.
• he who sits in the heavens shall laugh
• God is not dead; he is merely unemployed.
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• He said I'm better off without you, 'til I showed him my tattoo
• I fall in love with my migraine, every day he seduces me with a kiss.
• I kicked the Martian in his otherworldly balls, and he screamed like the solar wind howling through a planetary magnetosphere
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• Which of the Bewitched Dicks was gay?
• Imagine if your microwave was intelligent
• Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
• There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• Wish I Was in Heaven Sitting Down
• What the hell was she thinking?
• I was a prisoner in a Mexican whorehouse
• When I was five
• Where the floodwaters went after the flood was over
• the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
• Sympathy for the Mongols & How The Rise of the West was just sheer Dumb Luck
• The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel
• The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.
• I Wish My Brother George Was Here
• When I awoke, I was alone, and screaming
• Bullet Proof... I Wish I Was
• When Desire Was a Virtue
• It was fall, and fall does strange things to us all
• Springsteen Was A Pirate
• Was fang ich an in dieser Stadt?
• I was the shadow of the waxwing slain
• I Dropped Out of School, and All I Got Was This Necklace
• At Least One Kitten was Obliterated
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• this is unlike the story it was written to be
• Asking random people for wisdom
• Li He
• My brother never told me not to smoke. He showed me.
• He forgets I am my own fierceness; it's not for him
• He (user)
• Why Doesn't He Ask Me to Prom?
• She doesn't know what he sees, but sometimes it makes his face beautiful
• God Made Man Because He Loves Stories
• And as he sang the world began to fall apart
• The turkey, he faint
• He breaks her heart on a daily basis
• She lights everything up. He glows in the dark.
• if only he could hear my silent cries
• He never killed a man that did not need killing.
• as if he didn't exist
• pretends to sleep as he looks her over
• my only pin-up was Pelé
• I was a young boy that had big plans
• I was looking for you
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• Conrad's dirigible was tipping
• How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
• It was all I could do not to cry
• I was in a commercial once
• To a girl who thought she was moving away
• If a black hole were created on Earth
• Like most of my dreams, that one was licensed for commercial use
• When I was ten years old
• When daddy was the handsome prince
• I was a nice guy once
• Jesus was a revolutionary
• My purity was little stickers I willingly gave away in exchange for hearts
• It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
• Jungle Wa Itsumo Hare Nochi Guu
• As I was saying to my goldfish
• strange and too short but I was lonely
• Fruit cut from the vine, forgot and left to rot, long before it was time
• Two of them. Hovering there like bloated gas giants in the heavens. Good God, it was beautiful.
• The universe was cold and dead and all the best aspects of humanity and its appreciation of the world were stored in electronic boxes
• That Thursday the Universe was curved in the morning and was flat again by afternoon
• this was supposed to be a parable about the power of the imagination
• Could you be any more of a poseur? 'Changes' was a best-of!
• Just standing there, wearing my boxers, in my driveway. I was watching the stormfront. You were watching me.
• When I Was a Babe
• Why, Martha, for the longest time there was no railway station in Slough!
• Oedipus-Schmedipus, as long as he loves his mother
• This guy in the computer lab who looks like he should be a doctor
• He Hate Me
• But an unchewed square catches in his windpipe and he crumples to the floor like someone poisoned by life
• He called around 5:30
• I knew enough about him to know his name and what kind of snowball he could make
• Because he feared the turn of seasons
• he faked murder (user)
• Sitting close enough that he gets the idea
• He taught me how to smoke
• He who has ears, let him hear
• Things I'll do now that he's gone
• The Walrus was Paul
• That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
• The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
• I was a homeless bum
• That Was The Week That Was
• If this was an Olympic Sport, I'd be world champion
• My first and last attempt at a one night stand was raided by the police
• Where there was fire I brought the gasoline
• I came, I saw and was undone
• I turned Quizro into a Quiet Riot CD, and all I got was this jar of lemon-flavoured pickles.
• Jack Was Every Inch a Sailor
• Shimmer over bridges like the river was a dream
• If over the hills was someplace new and forgotten
• The skyline was beautiful on fire
• She was never mine. I always shared her.
• The beggar who was too rich for my money
• Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
• The sexuality and marital status of Jesus
• A virtuous woman was a manly woman, in the womanly fashion of being manly
• This was my mountain. You call it your valley.
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• The artifact was completely impenetrable to all forms of matter except living human flesh
• Your husband was a great man
• Jesus was not a reactionary reformer, learn your history bud!
• Petey Piper was a viper

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