Have you let Emacs into your heart?

Are you praising It today, brother? Are you typing in Its holy name?

Has anyone shared this editor with you? I know that this editor is the one true editor.

Have you installed EMACS and your personal .el files on other people's computers, just so that you could tolerate touching their keyboards?

Have you become intimately familiar with the holy Emacs Manual, the book of Emacs Lisp, and distributed the Programming in Emacs Lisp pamphlets to novices?

Have you opened your heart to the one programmable editor, for which there is no replacement?

Try this (on Emacs):

   M-x praise-emacs RET

and, if you're using XEmacs, try the above and then:

   M-x praise-xemacs RET

It really does do everything!

Actually, at least in XEmacs 20.4, the command:

M-x praise-be-unto-xemacs

is what you want to type. Oh, and if you type,

M-x praise-be-unto-emacs

it responds with "Obsolete Function, use 'M-x praise-be-unto-xemacs' ... the rivalry is still there!

I tried oh-so-hard. I gave Emacs hours of my time, fumbling around a clumsy interface that makes me use the Control and Alt (what is this Meta shit anyway) keys more than the spacebar. I even own O'Reilly's "Learning GNU Emacs." If ESR can't make me a convert, no one can, I figured.

I had fantasies of being the very definition of a power user. I'd know every key combination, every obscure command would be at my fingertips even if I'd never use it. I would subconsciously calculate the minimum number of keystrokes to do exactly what I wanted. I'd be an Emacs LISP uberhacker.

What does one do at the exact moment when you realize that despite your best efforts, you're a VIM guy?

<Shanoyu> Cowbotneal: emacs?
<cowbotneal> YES, THE TOOL OF SATAN!

You want me to let EMACS in my heart? Ye Gods, I don't have that kind of space in there! What do I look like? A UPS Depot? Besides, it'll probably drink all my 'Dew and put it's muddy feet on the sofa, anyway.