• But an unchewed square catches in his windpipe and he crumples to the floor like someone poisoned by life
• Any sufficiently nice person is indistinguishable from someone who likes you
• Longing for brief, but ever unattainable moment of... lucid thought?
• My friend is dating someone who likes him far more than he likes her
• What is it like to have a crush on someone?
• For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night.
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• Have you ever thought
• I know it's stealing, but sometimes someone else can say it better than you ever can.
• all i ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• Helping a loved one with depression
• If all you have is a hydrogen bomb, everything looks like the moon
• I have a sick mind. I like to hump myself against shelled clams and sing Oasis songs.
• Once when I got like this I thought I was building a boat
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• You can play with my ex-girlfriend, but treat her like the lady that she is.
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• Have you ever heard a thunderbolt voice your name?
• Who needs another person when you have yourself?
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf
• Glad To Have A Friend Like You
• There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• For Those Who Like It Rough - Chapter VI
• It wasn't the prince that saved the damsel, but a pirate with a secret.
• For Those Who Like It Rough - Chapter XII
• Things are more like they are now than they ever were before
• Have You Ever Seen The Rain?
• What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
• Girlfriend who likes computers
• It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
• The Princess Who Kicked Butt
• For Those Who Like It Rough - Chapter IX
• someone I thought I knew once
• Do you mind if I crash on yr stained glass couch for, like, ever?
• Those who are as a light in the darkness shall ever be troubled by moths
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
• Celebrities who have appeared at Carnegie Mellon University
• I have a sick mind. I like to pleasure myself with a hockey stick while gargling with pureed baby.
• Apple may have bought NeXT, but NeXT took over Apple
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• Soulmates who will never ever meet again
• Girls who tell you they have a boyfriend
• I never thought it would be like this
• Charlotte, who, like a lot of low-maintenance women, cannot tell a lie, said, Yes.
• For Those Who Like It Rough - Chapter VII
• Nah, these random encounters with beautiful strangers won't destroy me at all. But I guess I thought it'd be a good way to die at the time.
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• A rant about the worst professor I have ever worked with
• Helping someone who practices self-mutilation
• Sorrier than I ever thought I would be
• I have always wanted someone to say to me what you just said
• People who think they have to double-click everything
• For Leslie, who runs through this book like a river
• I have a most elegant proof of that, but this node is too small to contain it
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• Yourself or Someone Like You
• Snatched away, like the Lindberg baby, who everyone talked about, which explains my lifelong fear of ladders.
• Dick Green
• Here's a quarter. Call someone who cares
• Every beautiful woman has someone who is tired of her
• Everytime I get XP, I feel like I have to save my game
• two guys who have killed scores of imaginary people
• You speak like who you hang with, and piece like who you paint with
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• we always knew we'd find someone just like you
• I want my trail to grow over and disappear, but now someone is reading it.
• For Those Who Like It Rough - Chapter X
• You have to live like you'll miss the end
• I would really like to beat the crap out of someone
• Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
• I thought I had some great insight into human nature, but I didn't
• Dating someone who cheats on you
• Know your pets
• A letter to those who have impressed me
• The Man Who Wasn't There
• Hello, my name is... Would you like to have sex?
• The people we have met in the last 5 years, & will we remember them in 10 more
• But I Like You
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• the most unusual person i ever (briefly) met
• Have you ever made a just man?
• The ambassador who wasn't
• I wish you could have met me before I became food
• We know we have fallen because we know who we are
• Half-sour pickle
• These women who must live like the high Sierra white pine, fed somehow by the alpine wind
• There are many like it, but this one is mine
• There's someone in my head but it's not me
• Like hating water, but living in the lowlands
• It's like this train. It can't run anywhere but where its rails take it.
• It was one of the worst things I have ever done
• How to love someone who is mentally ill
• A reminder to drivers who do not have cruise control
• That creepy fuck who smells like stale cigarettes is outside my window again
• I love you, but you've just got to leave and not come back. Ever.
• Mere thoughts of a life like that
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• Santa's festive fear mongering wasn't going as well as he'd hoped, but the other Santa and I were enjoying the gingerbread.
• The Young Boys Who Met Trolls in Hedal Forest
• Have You Ever Walked?
• Why is everybody exactly like me?
• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• How does the Military Selective Service Act apply to individuals who have had a sex change?
• war trophies for people who have never been to war
• Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
• i remember reading this but i can't remember if i liked it or not
• If I ever have kids, I will kick the TV in and hurl it out the window
• Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
• A thought that may have passed in the mind of the busboy at the cafe where I often find myself
• I would have liked thunder when she left
• I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
• Nice Girls Who Like Weezer
• War is hell but men like it
• Dischord Recording Artists
• have given my heart away just as carelessly and as meticulously planned as ever
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• everyone who ever told me i was pretty was lying.
• Lefties who have no sense of humour
• Girlfriends who like to molest your nipples
• But who codes the coders?
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• Helping people cheat
• In response to you telling me I have the bluest eyes you've ever seen
• Whose toothbrush is that, I thought you lived alone
• If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a hardware catalog
• Hot pursuit
• every statue in town came to life, but they'd been watching long enough to know better than to ever move
• But can you still cry like a child?
• Have you ever been illusioned?
• Find someone who...
• You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you
• people do, on the whole, have the right to be who they want to be
• If only I'd thought of the right words, I could have held on to your heart
• I would have killed for a sexual thought
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• Swim with the fishies, but remember you have wings
• I could never date someone who hasn't committed a major felony
• the only comfort we could ever have
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• Your radical ideas about this being like David Foster Wallace have already occurred to others.
• We have met the enemy and he is us
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• It wasn't like I was sleeping anyway
• Someone takes care of me and I squirm like I'm caught in a lie
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• I'd love to stay and let you break my heart, but I have laundry to do
• The FOOLS! They laughed at my theories at the university, but I'll have my revenge! I'll have my REVENGE!
• Have you ever seen a despot with a little nose?
• How to harass someone who doesn't even get online using IRC
• A list of things kids should and should not have from a woman who has no kids
• I never thought I'd have something to say
• You don't have to be a vegetarian to like vegetarian food
• To anyone who this may have hurt, please forgive me. The darkness keeps calling and I must go.
• I thought paper cuts were like lightning
• I don't care. I like who I am because of it.
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
• Cheers, my lips have frozen but hemlock goes down easy
• For Those Who Like It Rough - Chapter I
• Girls Who Like to See Guys Fight
• Those who look for meaning in the world are like travellers seeking wood in the shade of a forest
• Have you ever been so excited about your life that it makes you almost want to cry?
• These rugs will unite this country like no other rugs have before
• To a Poet, who would have me Praise certain Bad Poets, Imitators of His and Mine
• Those who have abandoned their dreams will discourage yours
• The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup

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