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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Halloween sucks when you're freezing, poor and allergic to chocolate"

• When you're the oldest, you're not allowed to feel pain
• Things to do on Valentine's day when you're single
• Every Day's a Holiday When You're Pagan: January
• When you're born with duckweed in your hair, it never washes out
• What is honesty when you're wearing a mask?
• Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead
• This is the place you see in your head when you're sitting at your desk dreaming
• When you're dead, you're dead
• when you're ready to touch me again
• Sex starts when you're standing up
• When you're alone
• There is Nowhere Left to Go When You're The Handsomest Man in the World
• Enya Sucks So Much More When It's 4:00am at Wal-Mart
• When you're home alone
• You know you're blacked out when...
• Time flies when you're having fun
• Things to do in Denver when you're not dead: A Mile-High Nodermeet
• How to open a KFC when you're a cook
• It's hard to get C!-ed when you're a boring programmer
• Everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
• The hole in the ground for bodily waste when camping
• You wake up slowly when you're a mile underground
• it's hard to hear when you're stuck inside someone's torso
• What To Expect When You're Expecting
• Don't stop. You can sleep when you're dead.
• Mixed drinks you come up with when you're drunk
• You can't rant when you're not angry
• When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading communism
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Music You Listen to When You're Depressed
• It's hard to be an addict when you're broke
• Why it seems you get good ideas when you're stoned
• When you're finished struggling... are you free tonight?
• The quality of relationships with people when you're sick
• Feeling like you're moving when you're really sitting still
• I'll explain it when you're older
• I miss you when you're away. Please go.
• It's memories that I'm stealing, but you're innocent when you dream
• When you're supposed to go down, find the deepest well and go down to the bottom
• You know you're in the SCA when
• Sing when you're winning
• How to buy LEGO sets when you're over twice the suggested age
• Swing when you're winning
• Knowing you're going to die when you turn 30
• Southern Funerary Rites: Things to Do In Dixie When You're Dead
• Sucking at The Sims
• Every Day's a Holiday When You're Pagan: February
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• Time stands still when you're in the tube
• Nobody Knows You when You're Down and Out
• How to draw a 4-dimensional object, when you're limited to 3 dimensions
• You know you're a geek when...
• It's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
• Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans
• When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.
• When you're little, mom and dad are superheroes
• When you're a quarterback, you should not screw with the minds of your linemen
• You're pretty when you're quiet
• when you're 30, you'll change your mind
• You know you're in a terrible mood when the songs don't work
• When You're Evil
• You're never around when I need you
• How to close a KFC when you're a cook
• Live so that they cry when you're born and laugh when you die
• Risqué comment opportunities when you're a Subway employee
• When smoke stood up from Ludlow
• When you are drunk, all you can see is light
• Piero Manzoni
• When I was young Time had no wings
• When a whale dies
• Ten things Britons should not do when visiting the US
• This is When it Happens
• When the dead poets mobilize, they'll paint your picture on their planes
• When the Detail Lost its Freedom
• When the walls go down
• When we two parted
• Even your mother will probably bite your tree hand when you destroy all gravity
• When I Pretend to Fall
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• It has become the time of evening when people sit on their porches
• You're welcome
• What to do if you're stopped by the police
• Now You're Screwed
• Erin, You're Wearin' a Wonderful Smile
• You're All Alone
• You're not my son
• As a senior citizen, you're already aware of the threat robots pose.
• You're either a patriot or a terrorist
• double chocolate chip muffins
• Death By Chocolate
• chocolate ants
• Family milk chocolate
• Frozen chocolate mousse pie
• Chocolate Almond Cookies
• chocolate drops (user)
• Chocolate Peanut Butter Cupcakes
• Freezing Fresh Herbs
• A Halloween snapshot
• I woke up and was an instant scribbling fiend. crazy, my poor feverish brain
• The poor are always with us
• Why must the poor ruin everything for the rich?
• Why the news media sucks
• the first time always sucks
• fair suck of the sav
• Why matter cannot reach the speed of light
• I just don't know when to quit.
• When I'm Sixty-Four
• Things men want when they're drunk
• when you were words
• When and Why
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• When Irish eyes are smiling
• The night when I felt like speaking my mind
• How not to faint when you can't move
• Never install PCI cards when the power supply is on
• Dressed in black with soundless shoes, I sweep in when it's dark and rearrange things
• When your eyes fade will your smile follow?
• when you are in
• Aristotle's Lost Library, Medieval Andalusia & Chinese Paper, or How Europe Learned to Learn Again and Why the Renaissance Happened When & Where It Did
• When Father Rode the Goat
• When The King Comes Home
• When it is easier to let it happen than to fight it
• Paris... When it Sizzles!
• What to do when a roommate moves out
• Where are all the menstrual huts when you need them?
• When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
• When I made more
• Things to consider when buying glasses
• When Walls Become Tables
• If you want somebody's heart, catch it when they pour it out
• When the rescue plane landed, I realized we had resorted to cannibalism too soon.
• When I went back in time to kill you
• You are brave and wonderful even when they nuke the damn thing.
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• Alice, you're the greatest!
• You're evil
• What happens if you're too nice?
• I hope you're fucking happy
• If you don't know where you're going, any path will take you there
• You're a Lady
• You're never alone
• You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
• I'm reading this like you're chewing with your mouth full
• chocolate syrup
• haunted chocolate mousse pie
• Chocolate Hazelnut Cookies
• chocolate covered gummi bears
• Chocolate Pie
• Mint chocolate milk
• Chocolate and chilli ice cream
• chocolate crispies
• The night is freezing fast
• Halloween 5
• Poor
• Being rich is as much a trap as being poor
• working poor
• Poor Officiating in the Age of Replay
• Excuse me, could you explain again why you suck?
• Problems with the Power Mac G4 Cube
• I still suck my thumb
• Why Force Fields Suck
• I look better when I am wet
• Back when grunge was still cool
• When to Shake
• Thoughts that randomly pop into your mind when masturbating
• When You Said, "Remember Me"
• I don't even know when I am being sarcastic anymore
• When all you want is help, and all you receive is pain
• When I sleep, its not quiet
• When I look around, I see so much pain that mirrors my own
• When We Were Orphans
• Alternatives to "Oh Shit!" when visiting the Great Aunts
• Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
• somewhere, when I realize who I am
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• You've Asked Me When I Came to Town
• When the Frost is on the Punkin
• How to get an abortion when it's illegal to do so in your country
• Too many people say "I love you" when they mean "I like you"
• When Ice Capades is the pinnacle of your profession
• When a body catch a body
• When It Falls
• But life is hard when the written word is your first language
• A poem for when I loved him
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• When the moon is grinning, looking like a bowl of milk

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