Bobby Heenan is undoubtably the King of the
color commentators. Here are some of his greatest moments.
(For more Heenan, be sure to check out Gorilla Monsoon vs. Bobby Heenan)
Heenan: Once you wrestle
Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again.
(Heenan is on the banana phone with someone, trying to get advance tickets to Wrestlemania VII)
"That's right, tickets are going on sale"
"Well don't get smart with me, I'll slap you in the mouth"
"Do you want me to knock ya down?"
(And as they pan off to an ad:)
"I'll talk to you later mom"
Heenan: I KNOW who the Assassin is!!!!
Schiavone: Tell us, Bobby, who?
Heenan: He's the guy down at ringside wearing the mask!
"A friend in need is a pest."
Bischoff: "When
Ric Flair walked by he held up 4 fingers. That was the sign of the
Four Horsemen"
Heenan: "When
Hogan walked by I held up one finger"
"You know they say money can't buy happiness. Give me 50 bucks and watch me smile"
Heenan: Tell ya what
Schiavone. Let's make a wager in the
Superbowl for fifty bucks. I'll take the
Cowboys and you take the
Bills.
Schiavone: The Superbowl was two months ago.
Heenan: Who won?
Schiavone: The Cowboys!
Heenan: You owe me fifty bucks.
Schiavone: Well, Duggan is at a disadvantage in this type of match.
Heenan: He is at a disadvantage when he wakes up.
"And tommorrow, I'm having a bunch of guests over to my home in
Beverly Hills, turkey for everyone, only 8 bucks a head at the door."
(On 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper)
"I heard a rumour that his mom and dad ran away from home."
"He used to get his lunch wrapped in a roadmap."
(Undertaker does his tightrope walk)
Ross: Look at that balance!
Heenan: I walked all four corners once.
(Gorilla and Brain are arguing over Brain's neck injury. There is a X-ray on the board)
Heenan: Of course I'm hurt!
(Points to the X-ray in the neck area) Look, right here in the
femur...
"Every time I go to that town
(Las Vegas), there's a sign up; '
Old Blue Eyes Is Back'. They do that for me."
"That was
Tornado's forte in college. He was a javelin catcher."
Heenan: You know, if you kiss a woman's hand here in
Nashville, it's the same as kissing their foot.
Schiavone: Why do you say that?
Heenan: Same size, same aroma.
"There's only two kinds of music I don't like....
Country and Western."
"Do you know what 'Ariba' means? It means 'Swim faster, the border guards are behind us!'".
"See, what I would do right here now is throw him out and I'd piledrive him on the steps. That way you crack his head open and you break both shoulders at the same time. Good amateur move."
"The prom queen here last year was named Bubba"
Savage: And where would
Rick Steiner be?
Heenan: Probably on Page 3 of a comic book. He'll be there for a while.
(On 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan)
"His grandmother was a taped fist champion. His father was an Irish Setter."
(At Royal Rumble '92, after Piper had just clotheslined Jake 'The Snake' Roberts as he was about to DDT Ric Flair)
Heenan: "I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy! It's a
kilt! It's not a skirt! It's a kilt!"
(And after Piper had just kicked Flair as he had Roberts in the Figure-Four Leg Lock seconds later)
Heenan: "Why, you no-good freak! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!"
Heenan: "What's the first letter in the word 'and'?"
Schiavone: "'A'."
Heenan: "No, you didn't hear me. What's the first letter in the word 'and'?"
Schiavone: "'A'."
Heenan: "Forget it. You must be
Canadian."
(On Bret Hart giving his sunglasses out)
"There he is, buying fans again."
(During a freeze frame shot of Typhoon in 1993)
"Boy, look at how he hangs in the air like that!"