Gorge-Yourself-Silly-On-Chocolate Day is February 15, the day immediately after Valentine's Day. It's the day that all that heart-shaped Valentine's Day chocolate that never gets sold goes on massive nationwide clearance sales in stores all over. I like to celebrate this day by buying sweets by the pound, devouring them all, and enjoying the mad sugar-and-endorphin rush.

This day is immediately followed by My-God-Look-At-All-My-Zits day, a biannual event that occurs on February 16 and again on November 1, following the crazed candy rampage that's known as Halloween.