This futile, moronic and ultimatly impractically absurd
idea often graces the lips of oh so many uneducated morons in the United States
. I feel now I must shoot them down for good. Let's analyze the statement "Go back to Africa
First off, let it be known that Africa is probably the last place I would want to live. I can understand the reluctance of the African-American
population to leave our country behind and adapt to living...well, in a not so comfortable environment. If you are from Africa and are offended by my opinions, keep in mind that what I know of Africa comes from Sally Struthers
commercials and riot footage
We also must keep in mind, hick people
, that white people brought the black people to this country. That means that just because things didn't work out for you quite the way that you expected doesn't mean that anyone cares what you think. The smidge of patriotism
that smolders somewhere inside me forces me to say this:
"We thought we killed you all off during the civil
war; we promise to do a better job next time."
That said, let us get to the meat of the matter.
Africans to move:
Now then, were you any given african country, would you
take in 8 million people? I think not. Diplomatically
impossible. However, I shall grant you, O' sheeted ones, with a little lee-way. We will say that the KKK
got off its ass, stopped drinking Budweiser
and watching football
and made a few phone calls. So you have an African country willing to take 8 million immigrants. It is NOT going to be South Africa
, so forget about it. Unfortunately for you, South Africa has 1 flight to America and it stops in New York. So, I shall summarize for the slow kids.
White people brought them here, the white people
who want them to go, get to pay the plane fair. Fair is fair, they get a two way ride. So... Assuming you can talk the entire African-American
population into going to Africa, and have somehow gotten a country to grant them citizenship
, you have the following barriers to overcome.
- You pay to fly every African American to New York and you pay for their expenses while there.
- You pay plane fair for 8,299,000 African-Americans from N.Y. City to Johannesburg, South Africa.
- You pay to bus them all from Johannesburg to the African Country that will take them.
- You pay food and travel expenses for 8,299,000 People.
Now, this is a full time job
, so you must quit what you are doing, because organizing the diplomatic exile
of 8 million people (first class) is not going to be easy for you.
First of all, I will assume that it will cost you about 5000 per person on average to get them from America
to Africa. So, first you must raise 41,495,000,000 (thats 41 billion
dollars and change). So, assuming that Microsoft
is willing to cash out in order to help you, you must now book flights for each and ever person on somewhere around 207,475,000 flights. There are two flights per day out of New York on South Africa Air
, so that will only take you 56 years.
I know what you are thinking... "Lez Keel 'em
*spit* heh heh heh, stop touchin me there pa!
Well billybob, thats called Genocide
, and I would say that as much as your little black heart
would like to believe it possible, Its just not going to happen. So, what I propose is this: You go raise 41 billion
dollars and come see me when you are done. Until then, SHUT UP