No matter how lame the date is that you're on the girl with the roses makes you feel guilty. She comes sashaying down between the stools with a basket full of cheap roses that she sells for $5 apiece. She usually has a knack for zeroing in on the me, the poor guy that has no intention of buying a rose but is in the company of a lady1.

This sucks for the following reasons:

1 – I probably just met the person I’m talking to and have no intention of giving her anything. I also have no intention of going home with her either but the girl with the roses seems to think otherwise. She’s like the out-of-touch grandmother that thinks every girl you shake hands with is going to be the mother of your children.

2 – I don’t do roses. It’s not some cheap guy's cop-out, I really don’t. They lack imagination and I think I can do better than that. I’ll do flowers. I’ll go to the hippie market and pick out a bunch of flowers with names I can’t pronounce but I don’t do the roses. It always seemed so obvious and I don’t want to be obvious.

3 – She’s making the situation awkward. Probably, I’m making polite conversation with a new friend and now I’ve got $5 roses trying to force me to steal bases.

I don’t really know what that means.

Still, it’s uncomfortable trying to politely decline her gracious offer of two roses for the price of nine (at a normal flower store.)


1Not that I'm mister lover-lover man but for the sake of this node... Plus, of course that's when the girl with the roses strikes.

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