Welcome! Come in, come in. Have a seat. I was just beginning the slide show.

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Your tour of the Underworld will begin, after you leave this building, with a ferry ride. Do not lean over the ferry's railing, no matter what you see in the water, as there is a very real danger of drowning. We lose about one tourist every two weeks this way. I'm telling you this for your own safety.

The islands themselves are mostly harmless, especially if you don't go on the optional Pain And Suffering Path.

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This is the dock and entry path of the first island open to the public---Urban Fragment. It is so named because, through processes still not completely understood, only bits and pieces of a city have formed on this island.

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As with all the islands, there is no comprehensible writing. Linguists have studied extensively the worn signs, scrawlings, and illegible graffiti and determined that the writing system is not cohesive, and instead forms chaotically and inconsistently from many different world scripts. There are only two known examples of a word or phrase appearing in more than one place.

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This is the first. Its origin and meaning are unknown, but it is complex enough that statisticians have agreed it is very unlikely to have occurred twice by chance. It appears on the inside of a door near the center of Urban Fragment, and underneath a chair on Tower.

The second piece of writing found in multiple locations is the phrase "HOL NAVEGATOR!", and it appears much more often. Although the nature of the islands makes it difficult to gather evidence, experts believe it was added by early human explorers of this area.

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Here we see the patio of a shop on the outside of Urban Fragment. The vines seem to prefer this spot to any other on the island. In the distance, you can see the main structural features of Suspension, which is not open to the public at this time. It is slated to be reopened in 20Z9.

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This is the final stretch of asphalt before the pier and the ferry leading to Tower, the second island on the tour. Notice the partially formed bicycle rack and hotdog vendor's cart.

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Here is the main square in the center of Tower. Behind the fountain stands the island's most prominent feature. It is unknown exactly how the Tower remains standing, although investigators have detected myriad physical anomalies along the height of the structure.

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The interior is deceptive and disorienting, so stay close to your guides. For example, the window in this photo doesn't open to the outside, and yet light pours in. There is at least one hall which appears to make five right angle turns before rejoining itself. Some of the potted plants are psychoactive during a full moon.

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From the top of the Tower, you can clearly see Urban Fragment, Suspension,

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Fearsome Iron,

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████████, and Plain. ████████ is ██████ ███ ███████████ ███ ██ ██ ████████. It is ██████ ██ ██ ████████ ██ █████ █, ████. In the distance, you can make out the outline of MegaSprawl.

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There is a waiting area on the other side of Tower. This is when you may choose to go on one of the optional Paths. The highlights of each path are illustrated in your guidebooks. If you decline, you are free to explore Tower, accompanied by a guide, until the other tours have returned and everyone is ready to proceed to the final island.

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MegaSprawl is the largest island, covered in rows and twisting branch-roads of neglected and unfurnished suburban ranch houses. The basements, however,

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are dimly lit art galleries. All of the paintings are portraits of people, mostly of a single subject on a monochromatic background. No one has ever matched a portrait to an actual person, living or dead. There are no titles or names anywhere in the galleries, although each gallery bears a unique inscription along the wall of the entrance stairway.

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After MegaSprawl, the ferry will take you to the gift shop. Hopefully this slideshow has prepared you to enjoy your stay as much as possible. Follow your guides and don't hesitate to call our safety number, listed behind me. We've had a cell tower installed near the office, so you should get perfect reception almost everywhere. Have fun, and good luck!

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