Just received another batch of funny bumper stickers.

  1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
  2. Practice Safe Sex Go Screw Yourself.
  3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
  4. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
  5. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
  6. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
  7. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
  8. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
  9. To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
  10. If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
  11. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings."
  12. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
  13. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
  14. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
  15. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
  16. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
  17. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
  18. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
  19. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
  20. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
  21. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
  22. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
  23. Illiterate? Write For Help
  24. Honk If Anything Falls Off
  25. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Last But Miles From The Next Exit
  26. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
  27. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
  28. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
  29. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
  30. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong....
  31. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
  32. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over. . .(Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep)
  33. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70 mph
  34. Guys: No Shirt, No Service; Gals: No Shirt, No Charge (Seen On A Restaurant)
  35. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
  36. Ax Me About Ebonics
  37. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
  38. Boldly Going Nowhere
  39. Cat: The Other White Meat
  40. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
  41. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
  42. Heart Attacks. . . God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
  43. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
  44. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
  45. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
  46. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
  47. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
  48. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
  49. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.
  50. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
  51. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  52. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
  53. I need someone really bad. . . Are you really bad?
  54. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
  55. Jesus is coming----Look Busy!
If anyone wants to go into the bumper sticker business, let me know. We'll cut a percentage for the owners of Everything2. Thanks to Crassius for the list.

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