Larry Linville portrayed Major Frank "Ferret Face" Burns, one of the main characters in the hit TV show M*A*S*H. He was constantaly the butt of Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John McIntyre, his bunkmates in their tent known as The Swamp. Even his surgical and medical skills (or lack thereof) were often used as comical material, as if his character itself didn't provide enough. A married man, he was having an affair with Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan, and often made the mistake of mentioning his wife to her.

The following is just a few examples of Frank Burns "wisdom":

"Anyone who needs psychiatry is sick in the head."

"I'm sick of hearing about the wounded. What about all the thousands of wonderful guys who are fighting this war without any of the credit or the glory that always goes to those lucky few who just happen to get shot?"

"We all know it's brutal up there at the front, especially those of us at the rear!"

"I am only paranoid because everyone is against me."

"Foreigners, how come there has to be so many of them in a war?"

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