"Bite the wax tadpole
-Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese
"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."
-"Pepsi Comes Alive" as originally translated into Chinese
"Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do
such thing is please not to read notis."
-In a Tokyo Hotel
"Please to bathe inside the tub."
-In a Japanese Hotel Room
"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret
that you will be unbearable."
-In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby
"Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."
-In a Leipzig Elevator
"To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should
enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is
then going alphabetically by national order."
-In a Belgrade Hotel Elevator
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
-In a Paris Hotel Elevator
"Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9
and 11 A.M. daily."
-In a Hotel in Athens
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
-In a Yugoslavian Hotel
"It is not allow in the hotel room for guest participating in Illicit
Arts, banging of firecrackers, gambling and wrestling". -Hotel Jincheng
"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
-In a Japanese Hotel
"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."
-In the Lobby of a Moscow Hotel Across from a Russian Orthodox Monastary
"Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of
-In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers
"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
-On the Menu of a Swiss Restaurant
"Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup" with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten
up in the country people's fashion."
-On the Menu of a Polish Hotel
"For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient
-In a Hong Kong supermarket
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
-Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop
"Drop your trousers here for best results."
-In a Bangkok dry cleaner's
"Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers
in strict rotation."
-In a Rhodes tailor shop
"There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic
painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
-From the Soviet Weekly
"A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have
thrown in the bulk of their workers."
-In an East African newspaper
"In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."
-In a Vienna hotel
"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex
in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."
-In a Zurich hotel
"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good
-In a Rome laundry
"Would you like to ride on your own ass?"
-Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand
"Stop: Drive Sideways."
-Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan
"Special today---no ice cream."
-In a Swiss mountain inn
"Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."
-In a Tokyo bar
"We take your bags and send them in all directions."
-In a Copenhagen airline ticket office
"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him
melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him
-From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo