I believe I have finally arrived at an equitable solution to Minnesota's horrendous D.U.I. problem that is constantly mucking up the works by filling the state's coffers faster than our politicians can spend it. My idea is this. Continue the perfectly reasonable demand that anyone with 2 or more D.U.I.'s take a lifetime vow of sobriety, any suspected (license is civil, no guilty verdict necessary) disruption of which automatically makes a driver's license revoked whether or not driving is involved.Now here's my new twist. During the time of license suspension (whose length is arbitrarily chosen by the D.M.V.) the offender should be tested for alcohol twice daily. Anyone who passes every alcohol test for the duration of his/her suspension is given a mandatory decision; one way or the other. They can either choose A: to castrate a high ranking D.M.V. member with a rusty fencing pliers; or B: to decapitate a current board member of Mother's Against Drunk Drivers with a small, dull hatchet. I guarantee you things will change.