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My gentleman had now put on his clothes and recomposed himself, when
giving me a kiss, and placing me by him, he sat himself down as gingerly
as possible, with one side off the cushion, which was too sore for him
to bear resting any part of his weight on.
Here he thank'd me for the extreme pleasure I had procured him, and
seeing, perhaps, some marks in my countenance of terror and apprehension
of retaliation on my own skin, for what I had been the instrument of his
suffering in his, he assured me, that he was ready to give up to me any
engagement I might deem myself under to stand him, as he had done me, but
if that proceeded in my consent to it, he would consider the difference
of my sex, its greater delicacy and incapacity to undergo pain. Rehearten'd
at which, and piqu'd in honour, as I thought, not to flinch so near the
trial, especially as I well knew Mrs. Cole was an eye-witness, from her
stand of espial, to the whole of our transactions, I was now less afraid
of my skin than of his not furnishing me with an opportunity of signalizing
my resolution.
Consonant to this disposition was my answer, but my courage was still
more in my head, than in my heart; and as cowards rush into the danger
they fear, in order to be the sooner rid of the pain of that sensation,
I was entirely pleas'd with his hastening matters into execution.
He had then little to do, but to unloose the strings of my petticoats,
and lift them, together with my shift, navelhigh, where he just tuck'd
them up loosely girt, and might be slipt up higher at pleasure. Then viewing
me round with great seeming delight, he laid me at length on my face upon
the bench, and when I expected he would tie me, as I had done him, and
held out my hands, not without fear and a little trembling, he told me
he would by no means terrify me unnecessarily with such a confinement;
for that though he meant to put my constancy to some trial, the standing
it was to be completely voluntary on my side, and therefore I might be
at full liberty to get up whenever I found the pain too much for me. You
cannot imagine how much I thought myself bound, by being thus allow'd to
remain loose, and how much spirit this confidence in me gave me, so that
I was even from my heart careless how much my flesh might suffer in honour
of it.
All by back parts, naked half way up, were now fully at his mercy:
and first, he stood at a convenient distance, delighting himself with a
gloating survey of the attitude I lay in, and of all the secret stores
I thus expos'd to him in fair display. Then, springing eagerly towards
me, he cover'd all those naked parts with a fond profusion of kisses; and
now, taking hold of the rod, rather wanton'd with me, in gentle inflictions
on those tender trembling masses of my flesh behind, than in any way hurt
them, till by degrees, he began to tingle them with smarter lashes, so
as to provoke a red colour into them, which I knew, as well by the flagrant
glow I felt there, as by his telling me, they now emulated the native roses
of my other cheeks. When he had thus amus'd himself with admiring and toying
with them, he went on to strike harder, and more hard; so that I needed
all my patience not to cry out, or complain at least. At last, he twigg'd
me so smartly as to fetch blood in more than one lash: at sight of which
he flung down the rod, flew to me, kissed away the starting drops, and
sucking the wounds eased a good deal of my pain. But now raising me on
my knees, and making me kneel with them straddling wide, that tender part
of me, naturally the province of pleasure, not of pain, came in for its
share of suffering: for now, eyeing it wistfully, he directed the rod so
that the sharp ends of the twigs lighted there, so sensibly, that I could
not help wincing, and writhing my limbs with smart; so that my contortions
of body must necessarily throw it into infinite variety of postures and
points of view, fit to feast the luxury of the eye. But still I bore every
thing without crying out: when presently giving me another pause, he rush'd,
as it were, on that part whose lips, and round-about, had felt this cruelty,
and by way of reparation, glews his own to them; then he opened, shut,
squeez'd them, pluck'd softly the overgrowing moss, and all this in a style
of wild passionate rapture and enthusiasm, that express'd excess of pleasure;
till betaking himself to the rod again, encourag'd by my passiveness, and
infuriated with this strange taste of delight, he made my poor posteriours
pay for the ungovernableness of it; for now shewing them no quarter the
traitor cut me so, that I wanted but little of fainting away, when he gave
over. And yet I did not utter one groan, or angry expostulation; but in
heart I resolv'd nothing so seriously, as never to expose myself again
to the like serverities.
You may guess then in what a curious pickle those soft flesh-cushions
of mine were, all sore, raw, and in fine, terribly clawed off; but so far
from feeling any pleasure in it, that the recent smart made me pout a little,
and not with the greatest air of satisfaction receive the compliments,
and after-caresses of the author of my pain.
As soon as my cloaths were huddled on in a little decency, a supper
was brought in by the discreet Mrs. Cole herself, which might have piqued
the sensuality of a cardinal, accompanied with a choice of the richest
wines: all which she set before us, and went out again, without having,
by a word or even by a smile, given us the least interruption or confusion,
in those moments of secrecy, that we were not yet ripe to the admission
of a third to.
I sat down then, still scarce in charity with my butcher, for such
I could not help considering him, and was moreover not a little piqued
at the gay, satisfied air of his countenance, which I thought myself insulted
by. But when the now necessary refreshment to me of a glass of wine, a
little eating (all the time observing a profound silence) had somewhat
cheer'd and restor'd me to spirits, and as the smart began to go off, my
good humour return'd accordingly: which alteration not escaping him, he
said and did everything that could confirm me in, and indeed exalt it.
But scarce was supper well over, before a change so incredible was
wrought in me, such violent, yet pleasingly irksome sensations took possession
of me that I scarce knew how to contain myself; the smart of the lashes
was now converted into such a prickly heat, such fiery tinglings, as made
me sigh, squeeze my thighs together, shift and wriggle about my seat, with
a furious restlessness; whilst these itching ardours, thus excited in those
parts on which the storm of discipline had principally fallen, detach'd
legions of burning, subtile, stimulating spirits, to their opposite spot
and centre of assemblage, where their titillation rag'd so furiously, that
I was even stinging mad with them. No wonder then, that in such a taking,
and devour'd by flames that licked up all modesty and reserve, my eyes,
now charg'd brimful of the most intense desire, fired on my companion very
intelligible signals of distress: my companion, I say, who grew in them
every instant more amiable, and more necessary to my urgent wishes and
hopes of immediate ease.
Mr. Barville, no stranger by experience to these situations, soon knew
the pass I was brought to, soon perceiv'd my extreme disorder; in favour
of which, removing the table out of the way, he began a prelude that flatter'd
me with instant relief, to which I was not, however, so near as I imagin'd:
for as he was unbuttoned to me, and tried to provoke and rouse to action
his unactive torpid machine, he blushingly own'd that no good was to be
expected from it unless I took it in hand to re-excite its languid loitering
powers, by just refreshing the smart of the yet recent blood-raw cuts,
seeing it could, no more than a boy's top, keep up without lashing. Sensible
then that I should work as much for my own profit as his, I hurried my
compliance with his desire, and abridging the ceremonial, whilst he lean'd
his head against the back of a chair, I had scarce gently made him feel
the lash, before I saw the object of my wishes give signs of life, and
presently, as it were with a magic touch, it started up into a noble size
and distinction indeed! Hastening then to give me the benefit of it, he
threw me down on the bench; but such was the refresh'd soreness of those
parts behind, on my leaning so hard on them, as became me to compass the
admission of that stupendous head of his machine, that I could not possibly
bear it. I got up then, and tried, by leaning forwards and turning the
crupper on my assailant, to let him at the back avenue: but here it was
likewise impossible to stand his bearing so fiercely against me, in his
agitations and endeavours to enter that way, whilst his belly battered
directly against the recent sore. What should we do now? both intolerably
heated; both in a fury; but pleasure is ever inventive for its own ends:
he strips me in a trice, stark naked, and placing a broad settee-cushion
on the carpet before the fire, oversets me gently, topsy-turvy, on it;
and handling me only at the waist, whilst you may be sure I favour'd all
my dispositions, brought my legs round his neck; so that my head was kept
from the floor only by my hands and the velvet cushion, which was now bespread
with my flowing hair: thus I stood on my head and hands, supported by him
in such manner, that whilst my thighs clung round him, so as to expose
to his sight all my back figure, including the theatre of his bloody pleasure,
the centre of my fore part fairly bearded the object of its rage, that
now stood in fine condition to give me satisfaction for the injuries of
its neighbours. But as this posture was certainly not the easiest, and
our imaginations, wound up to the height, could suffer no delay, he first,
with the utmost eagerness and effort, just lip-lodg'd that broad acorn-fashion'd
head of his instrument; and still frenzied by the fury with which he had
made that impression, he soon stuffed in the rest; when now, with a pursuit
of thrusts, fiercely urg'd, he absolutely overpower'd and absorb'd all
sense of pain and uneasiness, whether from my wounds behind, my most untoward
posture, or the oversize of his stretcher, in an infinitely predominant
delight; when now all my whole spirits of life and sensation, rushing impetuously
to the cock-pit, where the prize of pleasure was hotly in dispute and clustering
to a point there, I soon receiv'd the dear relief of nature from these
over-violent strains and provocations of it; harmonizing with which, my
gallant spouted into me such a potent overflow of the balsamic injection,
as soften'd and unedg'd all those irritating stings of a new species of
titillation, which I had been so intolerably madden'd with, and restor'd
the ferment of my senses to some degree of composure.
I had now achiev'd this rare adventure ultimately much more to my satisfaction
than I had bespoken the nature of it to turn out; nor was it much lessen'd,
you may think, by my spark's lavish praises of my constancy and complaisance,
which he gave weight to by a present that greatly surpassed my utmost expectation,
besides his gratification to Mrs. Cole.
I was not, however, at any time, re-enticed to renew with him, or resort
again to the violent expedient of lashing nature into more haste than good
speed: which, by the way, I conceive acts somewhat in the manner of a dose
of Spanish flies; with more pain perhaps, but less danger; and might be
necessary to him, but was nothing less so than to me, whose appetite wanted
the bridle more than the spur.
Mrs. Cole, to whom this adventurous exploit had more and more endear'd
me, looked on me now as a girl after her own heart, afraid on nothing,
and, on a good account, hardy enough to fight all the weapons of pleasure
through. Attentive then, in consequence of these favourable conceptions,
to promote either my profit or pleasure, she had special regard for the
first, in a new gallant of a very singular turn, that she procur'd for
and introduced to me.
This was a grave, staid, solemn, elderly gentleman whose peculiar humour
was a delight in combing fine tresses of hair; and as I was perfectly headed
to his taste, he us'd to come constantly at my toilette hours, when I let
down my hair as loose as nature, and abandon'd it to him to do what he
pleased with it; and accordingly he would keep me an hour or more in play
with it, drawing the comb through it, winding the curls round his fingers,
even kissing it as he smooth'd it; and all this led to no other use of
my person, or any other liberties whatever, any more than if a distinction
of sexes had not existed.
Another peculiarity of taste he had, which was to present me with a
dozen pairs of the whitest kid gloves at a time: these he would divert
himself with drawing on me, and then biting off the fingers' ends; all
which fooleries of a sickly appetite, the old gentleman paid more liberally
for than most others did for more essential favours. This lasted till a
violent cough, seizing and laying him up, deliver'd me from this most innocent
and insipid trifler, for I never heard more of him after his first retreat.
You may be sure a by-job of this sort interfer'd with no other pursuit,
or plan of life; which I led, in truth, with a modesty and reserve that
was less the work of virtue than of exhausted novelty, a glut of pleasure,
and easy circumstances, that made me indifferent to any engagements in
which pleasure and profit were not eminently united; and such I could,
with the less impatience, wait for at the hands of time and fortune, as
I was satisfy'd I could never mend my pennyworths, having evidently been
serv'd at the top of market, and even been pamper'd with dainties: besides
that, in the sacrifice of a few momentary impulses, I found a secret satisfaction
in respecting myself, as well as preserving the life and freshness of my
complexion. Louisa and Emily did not carry indeed their reserve so high
as I did; but still they were far from cheap or abandon'd tho' two of their
adventures seem'd to contradict this general character, which, for their
singularity, I shall give you in course, beginning first with Emily's:
Louisa and she went one night to a ball, the first in the habit of
a shepherdess, Emily in that of a shepherd: I saw them in their dresses
before they went, and nothing in nature could represent a prettier boy
than this last did, being so fair and well limbed. They had kept together
for some time, when Louisa, meeting an old acquaintance of hers, very cordially
gives her companion the drop, and leaves her under the protection of her
boy's habit, which was not much, and of her discretion, which was, it seems,
still less. Emily, finding herself deserted, sauntered thoughtless about
a-while, and, as much for coolness and air as anything else, at length
pull'd off her mask and went to the sideboard; where, eyed and mark'd out
by a gentleman in a very handsome domino, she was accosted by, and fell
into chat with him. The domino, after a little discourse, in which Emily
doubtless distinguish'd her good nature and easiness more than her wit,
began to make violent love to her, and drawing her insensibly to some benches
at the lower end of the masquerade room, for her to sit by him, where he
squeez'd her hands, pinch'd her cheeks, prais'd and played with her fine
hair, admired her complexion, and all in a style of courtship dash'd with
a certain oddity, that not comprehending the mystery of, poor Emily attributed
to his falling in with the humour of her disguise; and being naturally
not the cruellest of her profession, began to incline to a parley on those
essentials. But here was the stress of the joke: he took her really for
what she appear'd to be, a smock-fac'd boy; and she, forgetting her dress,
and of course ranging quite wide of his ideas, took all those addresses
to be paid to herself as a woman, which she precisely owed to his not thinking
her one. However, this double error was push'd to such a height on both
sides, that Emily, who saw nothing in him but a gentleman of distinction
by those points of dress to which his disguise did not extend, warmed too
by the wine he had ply'd her with, and the caresses he had lavished upon
her, suffered herself to be persuaded to go to a bagnio with him; and thus,
losing sight of Mrs. Cole's cautions, with a blind confidence, put herself
into his hands, to be carried wherever he pleased. For his part, equally
blinded by his wishes, whilst her egregious simplicity favoured his deception
more than the most exquisite art could have done, he supposed, no doubt,
that he had lighted on some soft simpleton, fit for his purpose, or some
kept minion broken to his hand, who understood him perfectly well and enter'd
into his designs. But, be that as it would, he led her to a coach, went
into it with her, and brought her to a very handsome apartment, with a
bed in it; but whether it was a bagnio or not, she could not tell, having
spoken to nobody but himself. But when they were alone together, and her
enamorato began to proceed to those extremities which instantly discover
the sex, she remark'd that no description could paint up to the life the
mixture of pique, confusion and disappointment that appeared in his countenance,
joined to the mournful exclamation: "By heavens, a woman!" This
at once opened her eyes, which had hitherto been shut in downright stupidity.
However, as if he had meant to retrieve that escape, he still continu'd
to toy with and fondle her, but with so staring an alteration from extreme
warmth into a chill and forced civility, that even Emily herself could
not but take notice of it, and now began to wish she had paid more regard
to Mrs. Cole's premonitions against ever engaging with a stranger. And
now and excess of timidity succeeded to an excess of confidence, and she
thought herself so much at his mercy and discretion, that she stood passive
throughout the whole progress of his prelude: for now, whether the impressions
of so great a beauty had even made him forgive her her sex, or whether
her appearance of figure in that dress still humour'd his first illusion,
he recover'd by degrees a good part of his first warmth, and keeping Emily
with her breeches still unbuttoned, stript them down to her knees, and
gently impelling her to lean down, with her face against the bed-side,
placed her so, that the double way, between the double rising behind, presented
the choice fair to him, and he was so fairly set on a mis-direction, as
to give the girl no small alarms for fear of losing a maidenhead she had
not dreamt of. However, her complaints, and a resistance, gentle, but firm,
check'd and brought him to himself again; so that turning his steed's head,
he drove him at length in the right road, in which his imagination having
probably made the most of those resemblances that flatter'd his taste,
he got, with much ado, to his journey's end: after which, he led her out
himself, and walking with her two or three streets' length, got her a chair,
when making her a present not any thing inferior to what she could have
expected, he left her, well recommended to the chairman, who, on her directions,
brought her home.
This she related to Mrs. Cole and me the same morning, not without
the visible remains of the fear and confusion she had been in still stamp'd
on her countenance. Mrs. Cole's remark was that her indescretion proceeding
from a constitutional facility, there were little hopes of any thing curing
her of it, but repeated severe experience. Mine was that I could not conceive
how it was possible for mankind to run into a taste, not only universally
odious, but absurd, and impossible to gratify; since, according to the
notions and experience I had of things, it was not in nature to force such
immense disproportions. Mrs. Cole only smil'd at my ignorance, and said
nothing towards my undeception, which was not affected but by ocular demonstration,
some months after, which a most singular accident furnish'd me, and which
I will here set down, that I may not return again to so disagreeable a
subject.
I had, on a visit intended to Harriet, who had taken lodgings at Hampton-court,
hired a chariot to go out thither, Mrs. Cole having promis'd to accompany
me; but some indispensable business intervening to detain her, I was obliged
to set out alone; and scarce had I got a third of my way, before the axle-tree
broke down, and I was well off to get out, safe and unhurt, into a publick-house
of a tolerable handsome appearance, on the road. Here the people told me
that the stage would come by in a couple of hours at farthest; upon which,
determining to wait for it, sooner than lose the jaunt I had got so far
forward on, I was carried into a very clean decent room, up one pair of
stairs, which I took possession of for the time I had to stay, in right
of calling for sufficient to do the house justice.
Here, whilst I was amusing myself with looking out of the window, a
single horse-chaise stopt at the door, out of which lightly leap'd two
gentlemen, for so they seem'd, who came in only as it were to bait and
refresh a little, for they gave their horse to be held in readiness against
they came out. And presently I heard the door of the next room, where they
were let in, and call'd about them briskly; and as soon as they were serv'd,
I could just hear that they shut and fastened the door on the inside.
A spirit of curiosity, far from sudden, since I do not know when I
was without it, prompted me, without any particular suspicion, or other
drift or view, to see what they were, and examine their persons and behaviour.
The partition of our rooms was one of those moveable ones that, when taken
down, serv'd occasionally to lay them into one, for the conveniency of
a large company; and now, my nicest search could not shew me the shadow
of a peep-hole, a circumstance which probably had not escap'd the review
of the parties on the other side, whom much it stood upon not to be deceived
in it; but at length I observed a paper patch of the same colour as the
wainscot, which I took to conceal some flaw: but then it was so high, that
I was obliged to stand upon a chair to reach it, which I did as softly
as possibly, and, with a point of a bodkin, soon pierc'd it. And now, applying
my eye close, I commanded the room perfectly, and could see my two young
sparks romping and pulling one another about, entirely, to my imagination,
in frolic and innocent play.
The eldest might be, on my nearest guess, towards nineteen, a tall
comely young man, in a white fustian frock, with a green velvet cape, and
a cut bob-wig.
The youngest could not be above seventeen, fair, ruddy, compleatly
well made, and to say the truth, a sweet pretty stripling: he was--I fancy,
too, a country-lad, by his dress, which was a green plush frock and breeches
of the same, white waistcoat and stockings, a jockey cap, with his yellowish
hair, long and loose, in natural curls. But after a look of circumspection,
which I saw the eldest cast every way round the room, probably in too much
hurry and heat not to overlook the very small opening I was posted at,
especially at the height it was, whilst my eye close to it kept the light
from shining through and betraying it, he said something to his companion
and presently chang'd the face of things.
For now the elder began to embrace, to press and kiss the younger,
to put his hands into his bosom, and give him such manifest signs of an
amorous intention, as made me conclude the other to be a girl in disguise:
a mistake that nature kept me in countenance for, for she had certainly
made one, when she gave him the male stamp.
In the rashness then of their age, and bent as they were to accomplish
their project of preposterous pleasure, at the risk of the very worst of
consequences, where a discovery was nothing less than improbable, they
now proceeded to such lengths as soon satisfied me what they were.
The criminal scene they acted, I had the patience to see to an end,
purely that I might gather more facts and certainly against them in my
design to do their deserts instance justice; and accordingly, when they
had readjusted themselves, and were preparing to go out, burning as I was
with rage and indignation, I jumped down from the chair, in order to raise
the house upon them, but with such an unlucky impetuosity, that some nail
or ruggedness in the floor caught my foot, and flung me on my face with
such violence that I fell senseless on the ground, and must have lain there
some time e'er any one came to my relief: so that they, alarmed, I suppose,
by the noise of my fall, had more than the necessary time to make a safe
retreat. This they effected, as I learnt, with a precipitation nobody could
account for, till, when come to myself, and compos'd enough to speak, I
acquainted those of the house with the whole transaction I had been evidence
to.
When I came home again, and told Mrs. Cole this adventure, she very
sensibly observ'd to me that there was no doubt of due vengeance one time
of other overtaking these miscreants, however they might escape for the
present; and that, had I been the temporal instrument of it, I should have
been at least put to a great deal more trouble and confusion that I imagined;
that, as to the thing itself, the less said of it was the better; but that
though she might be suspected of partiality, from its being the common
cause of woman-kind, out of whose mouths this practice tended to take something
more than bread, yet she protested against any mixture of passion, with
a declaration extorted from her by pure regard to truth; which was that
whatever effect this infamous passion had in other ages and other countries,
it seem'd a peculiar blessing on our air and climate, that there was a
plague-spot visibly imprinted on all that are tainted with it, in this
nation at least; for that among numbers of that stamp whom she had known,
or at least were universally under the scandalous suspicion of it, she
would not name an exception hardly of one of them, whose character was
not, in all other respects, the most worthless and despicable that could
be, stript of all the manly virtues of their own sex, and fill'd up with
only the worst vices and follies of ours: that, in fine, they were scarce
less execrable than ridiculous in their monstrous inconsistence, of loathing
and condemning women, and all at the same time apeing all their manners,
air, lips, skuttle, and, in general, all their little modes of affectation,
which become them at least better than they do these unsex'd malemisses.
But here, washing my hands of them, I re-plunge into the stream of
my history, into which I may very properly ingraft a terrible sally of
Louisa's, since I had some share in it myself, and have besides engag'd
myself to relate it, in point of countenance to poor Emily. It will add,
too, one more example to thousands, in confirmation of the maxim that when
women get once out of compass, there are no lengths of licentiousness that
they are not capable of running.
One morning then, that both Mrs. Cole and Emily were gone out for the
day, and only Louisa and I (not to mention the house-maid) were left in
charge of the house, whilst we were loitering away the time in looking
through the shop windows, the son of a poor woman, who earned very hard
bread indeed by mending stockings, in a stall in the neighbourhood, offer'd
us some nosegays, ring'd round a small basket; by selling of which the
poor boy eked out his mother's maintenance of them both: nor was he fit
for any other way of livelihood, since he was not only a perfect changeling,
or idiot, but stammer'd so that there was no understanding even those sounds
his halfdozen, at most, animal ideas prompted him to utter.
The boys and servants in the neighbourhood had given him the nick-name
of Good-natured Dick, from the soft simpleton's doing everything he was
bid at the first word, and from his naturally having no turn to mischief;
then, by the way, he was perfectly well made, stout, clean-limb'd, tall
of his age, as strong as a horse and, withal, pretty featur'd; so that
he was not, absolutely, such a figure to be snuffled at neither, if your
nicety could, in favour of such essentials, have dispens'd with a face
unwashed, hair tangled for want of combing, and so ragged a plight, that
he might have disputed points of shew with e'er a heathen philosopher of
them all.
This boy we had often seen, and bought his flowers, out of pure compassion,
and nothing more; but just at this time as he stood presenting us his basket,
a sudden whim, a start of wayward fancy, seiz'd Louisa; and, without consulting
me, she calls him in, and beginning to examine his nosegays, culls out
two, one for herself, another for me, and pulling out half a crown, very
currently gives it him to change, as if she had really expected he could
have changed it: but the boy, scratching his head, made his signs explaining
his inability in place of words, which he could not, with all his struggling,
articulate.
Louisa, at this, says: "Well, my lad, come up-stairs with me,
and I will give you your due," winking at the same time to me, and
beckoning me to accompany her, which I did, securing first the street-door,
that by this means, together with the shop, became wholly the care of the
faithful housemaid.
As we went up, Louisa whispered to me that she had conceiv'd a strange
longing to be satisfy'd, whether the general rule held good with regard
to this changeling, and how far nature had made him amends, in her best
bodily gifts, for her denial of the sublimer intellectual ones; begging,
at the same time, my assistance in procuring her this satisfaction. A want
of complaisance was never my vice, and I was so far from opposing this
extravagant frolic, that now, bit with the same maggot, and my curiosity
conspiring with hers, I enter'd plum into it, on my own account.
Consequently, as soon as we came into Louisa's bedchamber, whilst she
was amusing him with picking out his nosegays, I undertook the lead, and
began the attack. As it was not then very material to keep much measures
with a mere natural, I made presently very free with him, though at my
first motion of meddling, his surprize and confusion made him receive my
advances but aukwardly: nay, insomuch that he bashfully shy'd, and shy'd
back a little; till encouraging him with my eyes, plucking him playfully
by the hair, sleeking his cheeks, and forwarding my point by a number of
little wantonness, I soon turn'd him familiar, and gave nature her sweetest
alarm: so that arous'd, and beginning to feel himself, we could, amidst
all the innocent laugh and grin I had provoked him into, perceive the fire
lighting in his eyes, and, diffusing over his cheeks, blend its glow with
that of his blushes. The emotion in short of animal pleasure glar'd distinctly
in the simpleton's countenance; yet, struck with the novelty of the scene,
he did not know which way to look or move; but tame, passive, simpering,
with his mouth half open in stupid rapture, stood and tractably suffer'd
me to do what I pleased with him. His basket was dropt out of his hands,
which Louisa took care of.
I had now, through more than one rent, discovered and felt his thighs,
the skin of which seemed the smoother and fairer for the coarseness, and
even dirt of his dress, as the teeth of Negroes seem the whiter for the
surrounding black; and poor indeed of habit, poor of understanding, he
was, however, abundantly rich in personal treasures, such as flesh, firm,
plump, and replete with the juices of youth, and robust well-knit limbs.
My fingers too had now got within reach of the true, the genuine sensitive
plant, which, instead of shrinking from the touch, joys to meet it, and
swells and vegetates under it: mine pleasingly informed me that matters
were so ripe for the discovery we meditated, that they were too mighty
for the confinement they were ready to break. A waistband that I unskewer'd,
and a rag of a shirt that I removed, and which could not have cover'd a
quarter of it, revealed the whole of the idiot's standard of distinction,
erect, in full pride and display: but such a one! it was positively of
so tremendous a size, that prepared as we were to see something extraordinary,
it still, out of measure, surpass'd our expectation, and astonish'd even
me, who had not been used to trade in trifles. In fine, it might have answered
very well the making a show of; its enormous head seemed, in hue and size,
not unlike a common sheep's heart; then you might have troll'd dice securely
along the broad back of the body of it; the length of it too was prodigious;
then the rich appendage of the treasure-bag beneath, large in proportion,
gather'd adn crisp'd up round in shallow furrows, helped to fill the eye,
and complete the proof of his being a natural, not quite in vain; since
it was full manifest that he inherited, and largely too, the prerogative
of majesty which distinguishes that otherwise most unfortunate condition,
and gives rise to the vulgar saying "A fool's bauble is a lady's playfellow."
Not wholly without reason: for, generally speaking, it is in love as it
is in war, where longest weapon carries it. Nature, in short, had done
so much for him in those parts, that she perhaps held herself acquitted
in doing so little for his head.
For my part, who had sincerely no intention to push the joke further
than simply satisfying my curiosity with the sight of it alone, I was content,
in spite of the temptation that star'd me in the face, with having rais'd
a May-pole for another to hang a garland on: for, by this time, easily
reading Louisa's desires in her wishful eyes, I acted the commodious part
and made her, who sought no better sport, significant terms of encouragement
to go through-stitch with her adventure; intimating too that I would stay
and see fair play: in which, indeed, I had in view to humour a new-born
curiosity, to observe what appearances active nature would put on in a
natural, in the course of this her darling operation.
Louisa, whose appetite was up, and who, like the industrious bee, was,
it seems, not above gathering the sweets of so rare a flower, tho' she
found it planted on a dunghill, was but too readily disposed to take the
benefit of my cession. Urg'd then strongly by her own desires, and embolden'd
by me, she presently determined to risk a trial of parts with the idiot,
who was by this time nobly inflam'd for her purpose, by all the irritations
we had used to put the principles of pleasure effectually into motion,
and to wind up the springs of its organ to their supreme pitch; and it
stood accordingly stiff and straining, ready to burst with the blood and
spirits that swelled it . . . to a bulk! No! I shall never forget it.
Louisa then, taking and holding the fine handle that so invitingly
offer'd itself, led the ductile youth by that master-tool of his, as she
stept backward towards the bed; which he joyfully gave way to, under the
incitations of instinct and palpably deliver'd up to the goad of desire.
Stopped then by the bed, she took the fall she lov'd, and lean'd to
the most, gently backward upon it, still holding fast what she held, and
taking care to give her cloaths a convenient toss up, so that her thighs
duly disclos'd, and elevated, laid open all the outward prospect of the
treasury of love: the rose-lipt overture presenting the cock-pit so fair,
that it was not in nature even for a natural to miss it. Nor did he, for
Louisa, fully bent on grappling with it, and impatient of dalliance or
delay, directed faithfully the point of the battering-piece, and bounded
up with a rage of so voracious appetite, to meet and favour the thrust
of insertion, that the fierce activity on both sides effected it with such
pain of distention, that Louisa cry'd out violently that she was hurt beyond
bearing, that she was killed. But it was too late: the storm was up, and
force was on her to give way to it; for now the man-machine, strongly work'd
upon by the sensual passion, felt so manfully his advantages and superiority,
felt withal the sting of pleasure so intolerable, that maddening with it,
his joys began to assume a character of furiousness which made me tremble
for the too tender Louisa. He seemed, at this juncture, greater than himself;
his countenance, before so void of meaning, or expression, now grew big
with the importance of the act he was upon. In short, it was not now that
he was to be play'd the fool with. But, what is pleasant enough, I myself
was aw'd into a sort of respect for him, by the comely terrors his motions
dressed him in: his eyes shooting sparks of fire; his face glowing with
ardours that gave another life to it; his teeth churning; his whole frame
agitated with a raging ungovernable impetuosity: all sensibly betraying
the formidable fierceness with which the genial instinct acted upon him.
Butting then and goring all before him, and mad and wild like an over-driven
steer, he ploughs up the tender furrow, all insensible to Louisa's complaints;
nothing can stop, nothing can keep out a fury like his: with which, having
once got its head in, its blind rage soon made way for the rest, piercing,
rending, and breaking open all obstructions. The torn, split, wounded girl
cries, struggles, invokes me to her rescue, and endeavours to get from
under the young savage, or shake him off, but alas! in vain: her breath
might as soon have still'd or stemm'd a storm in winter, as all her strength
have quell'd his rough assault, or put him out of his course. And indeed,
all her efforts and struggles were manag'd with such disorder, that they
serv'd rather to entangle, and fold her the faster in the twine of his
boisterous arms; so that she was tied to the stake, and oblig'd to fight
the match out, if she died for it. For his part, instinct-ridden as he
was, the expressions of his animal passion, partaking something of ferocity,
were rather worrying than kisses, intermix'd with eager ravenous love-bites
on her cheeks and neck, the prints of which did not wear out for some days
after.
Poor Louisa, however, bore up at length better than could have been
expected; and though she suffer'd, and greatly too, yet, ever true to the
good old cause, she suffer'd with pleasure and enjoyed her pain. And soon
now, by dint of an enrag'd enforcement, the brute-machine, driven like
a whirlwind, made all smoke again, and wedging its way up, to the utmost
extremity, left her, in point of penetration, nothing to fear or to desire:
and now,
"Gorg'd with the dearest morsel of the earth," (Shakespeare.)
Louisa lay, pleas'd to the heart, pleas'd to her utmost capacity of
being so, with every fibre in those parts, stretched almost to breaking,
on a rack of joy, whilst the instrument of all this overfulness searched
her senses with its sweet excess, till the pleasure gained upon her so,
its point stung her so home, that catching at length the rage from her
furious driver and sharing the riot of his wild rapture, she went wholly
out of her mind into that favourite part of her body, the whole intenseness
of which was so fervously fill'd, and employ'd: there alone she existed,
all lost in those delirious transports, those extasies of the senses, which
her winking eyes, the brighten'd vermilion of her lips and cheeks, and
sighs of pleasure deeply fetched, so pathetically express'd. In short,
she was now as mere a machine as much wrought on, and had her motions as
little at her own command as the natural himself, who thus broke in upon
her, made her feel with a vengeance his tempestuous tenderness, and the
force of the mettle he battered with; their active loins quivered again
with the violence of their conflict, till the surge of pleasure, foaming
and raging to a height, drew down the pearly shower that was to allay this
hurricane. The purely sensitive idiot then first shed those tears of joy
that attend its last moments, not without an agony of delight and even
almost a roar of rapture, as the gush escaped him; so sensibly too for
Louisa, that she kept him faithful company, going off, in consent, with
the old symptoms: a delicious delirium, a tremulous convulsive shudder,
and the critical dying Oh! And now, on his getting off, she lay pleasuredrench'd,
and re-gorging its essential sweets; but quite spent, and gasping for breath,
without other sensation of life than in those exquisite vibrations that
trembled yet on the strings of delight, which had been too intensively
touched, and which nature had been so intensly stirred with, for the senses
to be quickly at peace from.
As for the changeling, whose curious engine had been thus successfully
played off, his shift of countenance and gesture had even something droll,
or rather tragi-comic in it: there was now an air of sad repining foolishness,
superadded to his natural one of no-meaning and idiotism, as he stood with
his label of manhood, now lank, unstiffen'd, becalm'd, and flapping against
his thighs, down which it reach'd half-way, terrible even in its fall,
whilst under the dejection of spirit and flesh, which naturally followed,
his eyes, by turns, cast down towards his struck standard, or piteously
lifted to Louisa, seemed to require at her hands what he had so sensibly
parted from to her, and now ruefully miss'd. But the vigour of nature,
soon returning, dissipated the blast of faintness which the common law
of enjoyment had subjected him to; and now his basket re-became his main
concern, which I look'd for, and brought him, whilst Louisa restor'd his
dress to its usual condition, and afterwards pleased him perhaps more by
taking all his flowers off his hands, and paying him, at his rate, for
them, than if she had embarrass'd him by a present that he would have been
puzzled to account for, and might have put others on tracing the motives
of.
Whether she ever return'd to the attack I know not, and, to say the
truth, I believe not. She had had her freak out, and had pretty plentifully
drown'd her curiosity in a glut of pleasure, which, as it happened, had
no other consequence than that the lad, who retain'd only a confused memory
of the transaction, would, when he saw her, for some time after, express
a grin of joy and familiarity, after his idiot manner, and soon forgot
her in favour of the next woman, tempted, on the report of his parts, to
take him in.