Three locations where I am guaranteed an existential dilemma, my mind wandering to universals, amorality and an acute sense of mortality:

  • wandering on an overpass/freeway, hovering omnipotently above passing cars, drivers oblivious to me, motoring like ants to and fro mundanity, the potential of death and chaos caused by a simple unintentional stumble or intentional hop over the edge.
  • at a concert venue, the performer playing at me with memorized material that I’ve probably heard before, an absolute zero of interaction between us, the faceless masses of humanity surround me, staring, laughing, snorting, ignoring and other sorts of predictable behavior, if I didn’t exist everything would be the same.
  • backstroke in a pool, alone, drowning possibilities, gazing at the domed empty space above, sprays of water blurring my vision, audibly deprived, chlorinated sense of smell, a fear of proximity to the concrete edge, images of cracked skull flashes like lightning bugs through my mind, pool water contaminated with blood, everyone has to get out of the pool while they clean me up.

She seemed fine and not only joyous, but joyous “as usual”.
But I could see it thru.
I saw the dagger she kept concealed;
stabbed mercilessly in her back, blood congealed.

She kept saying I need to do this n’ I need to do that.
I asked her since when did this “You” started to be in you,
Just brush off the doer-ship and find that
there was always “I” in you and will always be.

I felt her eyes moist as a rain-cloud and,
Then in my arms she wept bereft; journey weary,
I stayed unmoved like a drenched Bushman in deep Kalahari.

I could have cleaned the clots and removed the blade,
I knew it was her identity and devoid it she will bleed to death.

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