Despite his 2007 evolution from evil man to immortal energy ball of pure hatred, it was not until Bill Gates wrote and published this treatise in 2013 that he attained true evil villain status.

Not to be confused with any Jonathan Swift satires, the nonfiction Eating Babies for Fun and Profit revealed that Gates acquired about 37% of his evil power by devouring innocents. Microsoft stock jumped 13% on the news, but analysts had already predicted it in 2011 when "Where Do You Want To Go Today?" was replaced by "Bring Me Your Infants, So That I May Devour Their Bodies and Souls! Come, Feast With Us On The Blood of Newborns!! Bwahahaha!!!!!"

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