Today, while parents are hiding multicolored holy eggs , kids are breaking open pixi stix to snort lines off their bibles and the churches lock the doors behind you as soon as you step in, I sit at home troubled. In a time where breaking down racial, gender and sexual boundaries is the newest substitute for common sense and compassion, I am appalled at the acceptance of the blatant favoritism, discrimination and outright injustice represented by Easter.
Today, the day we celebrate the rise of the worlds most influential zombie, I’d like you take a moment and reflect on how we’ve treated all other zombies since. I should state that I am in no way belittling the achievements of zombie J.C. , this isn’t about him, its about us. What argument could possibly justify the deifying of one zombie and the genocide of the rest? Why is one resurrected and while the others are just walking undead unfit to walk the earth? Some may say the zombie people are violent and attack the living,, that it is a matter of self-defense, and preservation of our species. I could argue that the declaration of war was made by the living, the zombies weren’t given a choice in the matter. They are in fact the victims of anti-zombie propaganda, propagated by an anti-zombite pedophile hate monger with a rabbit fetish.. They “eat brains” , are you serious? How is that any different than a klan leader preaching about the blacks and hispanics roaming the night strung out on drugs, looking for white women to rape? If the Zombies were looking for brains it wasn’t to eat them, they were looking for someone who had a working one.
This far into our evolution as humans I cant believe it is still a widely accepted practice to murder these poor people. To rub salt and alcohol into every open festering wound in their decaying bodies with countless exploitation films making light of the livings bloodlust for the undead. I for one am making a stand against the continued persecution of the zombie people. I refuse to be denied of any other contributions the zombie folk might make to religion, society, and our quality of life. Stand with me, lets ensure that future generations will not fall prey to such ignorance, that one day a warm soft living hand and a cold rigid rotting one will embrace in love and understanding, not in murderous fear.