E2Medicine

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Red spots on the whites of your eyes—the result of tiny broken blood vessels behind the transparent outer layer of the eyeball are subconjunctival hemorrhages. They look very dire, but unlike almost every dreadful-looking thing that can happen to the human body, they are usually painless and almost always completely harmless. Subconjunctival hemorrhage is commonly called 'red eye' (as opposed to 'pink eye,' which is the result of an infection and doesn't look like the hemorrhage at all).

Kettle brand, maker of fine potato chips, now bakes pretzel chips; they are discs, just a little smaller than a potato chip. Their "fully loaded" flavor is absolutely full of sesame seeds, poppy seeds, salt, and lots and lots of garlic. These tiny bites of garlic-and-salt heaven are also capable of becoming delicious little ninja throwing stars upon a bad bite. My molars shattered one chip and a jagged piece of pretzel shrapnel lodged sideways against my tonsil—not life-threatening, but painful as hell. What followed was an epic coughing fit. Even after I dislodged the little snack, I still coughed for a long time.

The next morning, at work, a coworker brought it to my attention, "What's wrong with your eye?" She asked, concerned. I rushed to a mirror. There, adjacent to the colored part of my left eye, was a bloody red cloud, small, but very noticable. Hideous! ...and I'm self-conscious about my looks as it is!

Subconjunctival hemorrhages are the result of the rupture of tiny blood vessels. The conjunctiva and underlying sclera do not reabsorb the blood very quickly, so the resulting bloody patch may take two weeks or more to disappear.

Anything that raises the blood pressure in the head can cause the little blood vessels to break: coughing, sneezing, overexertion (one colleague used to lift weights, the little red spots are a common sight with the bodybuilding crowd), throwing up (another colleague told a rather awful story about a drunken party...), even straining in the bathroom may cause subconjunctival hemorrhages.

Some risk factors that might make this type of hemorrhaging more likely include: high blood pressure, diabetes, LASIK surgery, and extreme alcohol consumption. Injuries to the face can obviously cause these hemorrhages as well, so can touching the eyes or scratching at itchy eyes. I initially thought mine might have resulted from by my allergies causing me to rub my eyes.

Some rare causes may include extreme G-forces (not a common problem outside the world of pilots and astronauts, I suspect) or blood dyscrasia. Individuals using blood thinners are likewise very much at an increased risk for this condition. This includes dietary and herbal blood thinners such as ginger, ginseng, garlic, St. John's wort, and aspirin. Capsaicin, the active ingredient in most hot peppers, also thins the blood.

The books say that a subconjunctival hemorrhage should go away on its own in about two weeks. They say it will not hurt, except for maybe a tiny bit of irritation. A friend who is an optometrist told me that warm compresses can speed the healing (although cold compresses are more appropriate for the first 48 hours or so). Amazingly, everyone was spot-on this time!

My ugly red spot made me very self-conscious for about three days. Slowly, it left my thoughts and I only considered it when I put a warm washcloth over my eye for ten minutes or so. Now and then, it would itch a bit, but, as an allergy sufferer, I'm no stranger to itchy eyes.

In about a week, the spot was fading, its garish red turning to a sort of light orange color. By about day ten, it was nearly gone. Per the suggestions in books and websites, I used some eyedrops on the rare occasions when it bothered me.

Despite their innocuousness, subconjunctival hemorrhages may sometimes indicate bad things, especially in babies (although newborns sometimes have them from the birth process). A baby with this condition may be deficient in vitamin C, thus experiencing scurvy. It may also be a sign of traumatic asphyxia syndrome or physical abuse.

Please Note: If a condition which appears to be a mere subconjunctival hemorrhage hurts, continues to spread, or (especially) has a marked effect on vision ... get thyself to a doctor. Also, anyone with a blood-clotting disorder should take these little spots very seriously. Likewise, ones which recur frequently should be cause for a talk with the medical professional.

So, the little spot has faded into a memory. I've even gone back to eating those delicious pretzel chips—but very carefully.

References:
Talking to an eye doctor
Wikipedia
Mayo Clinic online: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/subconjunctival-hemorrhage/DS00867
Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary, 19th edition (FA Davis, Philadelphia, 1997).

I realize not all of this will make a lot of sense unless you've seen a good extensive part of the show, since it's been over 6 years and we learn a bit more about each character, drop by drop. Spoilers:

Dr. Cox apparently was very much like J.D. when he was younger, according to his ex-wife Jordan; optimistic and friendly and caring. Somehow, fast-forward many years later and he's bitter and cynical and turned into a workaholic who both loves and hates his work but can't bring himself to give it up.

Everyone who's seen the show knows that Dr. Cox always says at least one zinger in every episode, often two or three. He's the best source of the hilarious put-downs, as well as the mentor for the others, so we get good heartfelt stuff as well as amusingly mean. Everyone has a favorite quote of his, and after six seasons there are pages and pages of quotes online. Heck, I hope they make a desk calendar of them one day, I sure would buy it. Fans like to compare him to Dr. House, and they even had an episode satirizing him. Dr Kelso said, "Oh Perry, you are so edgy and cantankerous; like House without the limp."

When he rants, he shows a strong hatred for Hugh Jackman, among other things.

J.D., aka any girl's name you can think of Outwardly, Dr. Cox loathes him, finds him incredibly annoying, weak, girly, naïve, and just a pain. He calls J.D. a girl's name in every episode, and tries to vary it up. In one episode, we are treated to his inner monologue, where we find he's really trying hard to come up with new put-downs, but sometimes repeats them, and tries to pass it off as being effortless. He puts J.D. down at every moment, every compliment is back-handed, but in reality he kinda likes him, supports him when he needs it, and thinks J.D. is growing. He tries to push J.D. out of his life, but J.D. seems to regard him as a mentor and father figure, causing him to inject himself into Dr. Cox's affairs like his son's baptism and try to sneak into Dr. Cox's parties at his lavish apartment. Of course it didn't help matters when J.D. slept with Jordan before he knew who she was in relation to the hospital and his friend, but Dr. Cox seemed to forgive him later, though he got sweet revenge through the fact that he was J.D.'s boss and was dating Jordan's sister without knowing it. Over time, the show hints that he is secretly proud of J.D. and thinks he has the potential to become a great doctor. The only girls names Dr. Cox has used more than once are Lily, Ginger, Gidget, Marcia, Gloria, Janice, Betsy, Carol and Nancy. Dr. Cox's trademark of calling J.D. by girl's names is what McGinley does in real life (jokingly) to his good friend and neighbor John Cusack.

Dr. Cox: {to J.D.} Oh, gosh, Shannon, thank you so much for clarifying my point by repeating it word for word. And now, in a reciprocal gesture, can I be included in the planning of your coming-out party?
J.D.: Is that a gay joke?
Dr. Cox: No, it's a cotillion joke. My God, Newbie, it's been two furiously frustrating years - how is it possible that you still don't get me? I would never compare you to the gays. I like the gays - I like their music, I like their sense of style, I especially like what they've done with Halloween - but our thing is that you are a little girl. That's who you are. But that's really not fair...

Carla, who he doesn't really have a nickname for. He's got a crush on her, probably because she's not afraid of him and is a pretty strong woman. He thinks she married the wrong guy. Carla denies his love, saying he doesn't love her, he idlozes her. He thinks she's the only one who "gets him."

Turk, aka "Gandhi." Cox thinks he's "a tool" and not just because he's a surgeon, who doctors dislike on the show. They compete over Carla.

Elliot, aka "Barbie." Dr. Cox really seems to hate her, think's she's an awful doctor or at least shallow and annoying and while he'll be a mentor to the others, he never really lets up or apologizes in her case. He also dislikes her for going into private practice, but Dr. Cox looks down on it because he feels they treat less patients for more money.

Elliot: Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie, no... it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively *to* clowns.
Elliot: I'm sorry, that was my mistake, I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
Dr. Cox: Ooh, Backbone Barbie.

Dr. Kelso, aka "Bobbo", is the chief of medicine, and they do not get along. Perhaps it's because Dr. Kelso runs the hospital like a heartless business and Dr. Cox actually cares for patients, or that Dr. Cox wants to be chief one day and fix the problems, or because Dr. Kelso just tries to spite him or interfere in his patient care. Either way, they're at each other's throats without much open hostility. Plenty of sarcasm though. However, in a rare gesture of goodness, he punched Dr. Kelso out cold in the face when he was trying to berate Elliot to purposely humiliate her and make her cry in front of the patients. They're rivals, but cooperated in the rare occasion, like trying to break an optimist Doctor Molly's spirits.

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Cox, did you get my memo stating residents should wear their lab coats at all times?
Dr. Cox: Yes, I did. At first I just threw it away, but then I thought, that's not grand enough a gesture, so I made a model of you out of straw, put my lab coat on it --with your memo in the pocket-- and invited the neighborhood kids to set fire to it and beat it with sticks.

The Janitor. Oddly enough, they seem to get along relatively well, though there was rivalry in the beginning. They would ruin the ending of films or sports games for each other, or bet on winning each other's car. It's like they're drinking buddies. Their careers kinda separate them, and the Janitor sometimes pretends he doesn't know him, to keep his Janitor cred, but otherwise they seem to connect, though they haven't gone after J.D.. Yet.

Jordan. "She's the devil, Newbie. Don't look in her eyes, she might steal your soul." Apparently he keeps going back to her, even leaving girlfriends to be with either her or Carla, but Carla always turns him down. Although he divorced his wife, they turned out to be just too compatible and meant for each other, their personalities and snide comments and cheer-crushing sarcasm were just too right for each other. They were miserable when married, yet mutually happy when divorced. Oddly enough, he cares for Jordan but doesn't ever want to show it, and she wants to raise a family with him, which they are in the process of doing.

Of course, Dr. Cox wants to keep those plans at arm's length, because he had a lousy childhood due to an abusive father. He's still coping with it quietly. He has a sister, Paige, who is a born-again Christian but make no mistake, just as bitingly sarcastic as he. He dislikes seeing his sister because of the mutual memories of abuse it brings up. He fathered a son with Jordan, and they're raising him together, with Dr. Cox concerned he's going to screw up his kid. His son Jack's first full sentence was "daddy drinks a lot."

Dr. Cox: Don't look her in the eyes, newbie; {covers his own eyes} she'll steal your soul. {to Jordan} So, how are things going down in the underworld?
Jordan: Good. And you? Still have a rollicking social life?
Dr. Cox: Since I cut you loose, it's been one big party!
Jordan: In the next five seconds, name someplace other than the hospital or your apartment you've been in the last month...Five...Four...Three...Two....
Dr. Cox: My car! On the way to the...big party.
Jordan: Ooh. That must have hurt.

Laverne Roberts. Although he put her down a bit, he never really messed with her too much, since nurses hold power over doctors. She was one of the few who could stand up to him, and Dr. Cox mourned her loss.

Laverne:Dr. Cox, would you like to try some of my world-famous brownies?
Dr. Cox: No thank you, Laverne, I've already had diarrhea.

http://drcox.ytmnd.com

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