Driving in Vancouver B.C. is a very interesting proposition. Vancouverites are not known for their good driving skills, so common sense isn't needed for this guide. While I realize drivers all over the world can be quite bad at driving, Vancouver is on a whole other level. Bad road design, city planning and idiotic drivers come together to make Vancouver the worst place to drive outside of Asia. Thus, I present "Yes, please..."
Yes, please don't yield to me even though I'm in a roundabout. Those little red and white triangular signs are just a decoration.
Yes, please stop in a roundabout when an emergency vehicle approaches it. Going to your exit and pulling over there is far too complicated for everyone involved.
Yes, please don't yield to me even though I'm in the inside lane of a roundabout and you're in the outside lane. Yielding to me as required by law is silly and wastes time.
Yes, please drive alongside a truck performing a turn. Why should you have to wait one extra second for him to pull ahead?
Yes, please don't signal going in or out of a roundabout. I love guessing. What excitement!
Yes, please don't turn right on that red light from the middle lane even though it's marked as such and thus perfectly legal and normal.
Yes, please don't turn left on that red light onto a one way street from a two way street even though it's a perfectly legal manoeuvre. Not knowing the rules of the road in the city you live in is fun for everyone!
Yes, please don't signal your left turn so I get stuck behind you. I love it.
Yes, please ignore the tab under the stop sign that says "2-way". People on the street without a stop sign should stop for you anyway. You were there first, obviously.
Yes, please don't pull over for that fire truck even though it's the law. Just keep on truckin', you're obviously more important than they are.
Yes, please don't slow to 70 kilometres per hour and certainly don't attempt to change lanes as the law says you ought to for that tow truck driver trying to secure his load. He lives for the thrill.
Yes, please speed in a construction zone. I'm sure all the workers enjoy watching how fast your Tundra can go!
Yes, please wear sunglasses in tunnels. It's far more important to look super cool.
Yes, please speed through school zones. You're doing all of us a public service by making sure our kids get up close with the pavement to learn the difference between asphalt and concrete.
Yes, please speed through that playground zone. Children love loud noises and their playmate screaming underneath your Dodge is no exception!
Yes, please pass that stopped school bus with the flashing lights. Children should have their parents with them to cross the street anyway.
Yes, please stop in a no-stopping zone. Your 4-way flashers make it magically legal for you to do so.
Yes, please park at 3:45 next to a sign that says "No Parking 3:30-6:30 <-Monday to Friday->". That whole rush hour thing is for OTHER people.
Yes, please talk on your cell phone while you drive. Pulling over to take a call is such a "learner" thing to do.
Yes, please keep your signal on for 5 kilometres. It's not like it flashes on your dash to warn you it's still on or anything.
Yes, please cut in front of me. It's not like I need that space to stop or anything. It's for everyone to use!
Yes, please use the HOV lane even though you don't meet the requirements. HOV lanes are just to make hippies happy.
Yes, please cut across solid white lines at HOV lanes, before intersections and when lanes merge. White lines just make the road look pretty.
Yes, please stop in a free flowing right turn lane. I love feeling that gentle vibration from my ABS as I slam my brakes.
Yes, please don't yield to that bus. I'm sure he loves not being able to pull out and his passengers will love missing their connections.
Yes, please tailgate me while I do the speed limit. I enjoy being able to see the hood ornament on your Jaguar in such vivid detail as I'm driving.
Yes, please tailgate me even though there's a single solid yellow line and you can pass me. Being ignorant of what the lines on the road mean is fun!
Yes, please wait until the single yellow line becomes a double yellow line to pass. Passing other vehicles on blind curves adds excitement to our morning commutes!
Yes, please use the left lane on the freeway to travel in. Using it to pass is so cliché.
Yes, please change lanes without signalling. That lever next to the steering wheel can be so hard to reach sometimes!
Yes, please don't signal as you u-turn in a cul-de-sac. We love guessing games!
Yes, please veer into my lane because you're reaching for something in the other side of your car. Things like that make the afternoon rush worth living for!
Yes, please pop wheelies on your motorcycle. It's not like you could lose control or anything.
Yes, please take a lane and a half to finish your right turn so everyone behind you has to wait longer, it's not like you could have started it wide to only use one lane to finish your turn.
Yes, please don't use the acceleration lane provided at some intersections to merge. Just stop and wait for an opening. Crazy road engineers putting lanes we don't need everywhere.
Yes, please don't let that truck change lanes. He's only been signalling for the last four blocks. I'm sure there's another truck route up ahead anyway. They're everywhere!
Yes, please don't pull forward to the front pump at the gas station. I just love parallel parking at a gas station pump!
Yes, please stop on a railway crossing. Who do train conductors think they are anyway using our roads? They can stop and wait for us!
Yes, please don't clear the two foot plateau of snow from the top of your vehicle. I enjoy snow falling off your car and endangering everyone else. It's such a thrill!
Yes, please attempt to come down that hill despite it being completely covered in ice. I'm sure your car is somehow special and you'll be able to stop before the car in front of you.
Yes, please don't clear your windows of any snow, frost, or condensation. Driving blind requires skill which I'm sure you've mastered.
Yes, please honk at me for actually stopping at a stop sign. I was unaware your vehicle did not have the full brake package that allows it to properly come to a complete stop at stop signs.
Yes, please cut across three lanes before an intersection because you're about to miss your left. I understand "Three rights make a left" can be a difficult concept to grasp.
Yes, please don't make eye contact with other road users. That's too personal for some people.
Yes, please stay in my blind spot. I know it can be hard to slow down or speed up for half a second.
Yes, please use your high beams when there are oncoming cars. I love being dazzled!
Yes, please clip the curb as you take a right turn. The pedestrians on the corners were really bored and needed something to excite their day.
Yes, please back into a crosswalk. Pedestrians should have to wait because you're doing something super important!
Yes, please ride your brakes down long hills. Gears are silly and complicated. Besides, the brake shop down the street needs your business in this recession.
Yes, please pass me on the right as I try to pull out from someone turning left who forgot to signal. Everyone does it so that makes it legal! No right lane? No problem!
Yes, please drive really fast through puddles. I'm sure the other motorists and pedestrians you splash are all thinking that your Hummer is so awesome.
Yes, please don't utilise the 4-way stop manoeuvre at a traffic light that's suffered a power outage. The busier street always gets the right of way!
Yes, please don't let the guy at the stop sign to your right go even though you both arrived at the same time. Somehow your vehicle goes first in just such a case.
Yes, please turn left in front of me at the 4-way stop we came to at the same time. Stop sign rules are too complicated. Better just to go.
Yes, please stay stopped at an advance right arrow. I love being parked behind you and watching the pedestrians walk across when it's their turn.
Yes, please stay stopped at the red light at the mid-block pedestrian crossing once everyone has crossed. Section 129 (5) in the motor vehicle act is obviously a typo.
Yes, please don't yield to the pedestrians crossing at the pedestrian crossing. Who do they think they are crossing on YOUR road?
Yes, please use the NEXUS lane at the border even though you don't have a NEXUS card. I love waiting behind you as you try to cut in before the booth.
Yes, please drink and drive. Calling a cab takes too long and he'll probably drive like an maniac anyway.
Yes, please pass me on the right even though it's illegal Mr. Cyclist. You must be far more important than I.
Yes, please lane split ahead of me there and go flying into the intersection on the red light, Mr. Cyclist. You obviously know what you're doing.
Yes, please run that stop sign Mr. Cyclist. It must actually be a "go" sign and all of us have been reading it wrong all these years.
Yes, please magically become a pedestrian when it suits you, Mr. Cyclist. Waiting for a red light takes too long.
Yes, please step out into the intersection on a don't walk signal. I like watching you go by as my green light slowly expires.
Yes, please jaywalk. I love having to slow down and wait as you play a real life version of Frogger.
Yes, please walk on the highway with traffic instead of against it. Safety is the solely driver's responsibility not yours!