A (British) Royal Navy drinking song sung with gusto by sailors and ex-sailors (and me) wherever beer is served. Goes to the tune of What shall we do with the Drunken Sailor? ... if you don't know the tune to that, you're beyond help.

Drink to the boys in the Royal Navy
Drink to the boys in the Royal Navy
Drink to the boys in the Royal Navy
Ear-lye¹ in the morning.

What do you do when you leave the Navy
What do you do when you leave the Navy
What do you do when you leave the Navy
Ear-lye in the morning?

Run like fuck to the nearest station
Run like fuck to the nearest station
Run like fuck to the nearest station
Ear-lye in the morning.

What do you do when you get to the station
What do you do when you get to the station
What do you do when you get to the station
Ear-lye in the morning?

Catch the next train to civilisation
Catch the next train to civilisation
Catch the next train to civilisation
Ear-lye in the morning.

(Take a deep breath; you'll need it)
What do you when you get to civilisation
What do you when you get to civilisation
What do you when you get to civilisation
Ear-lye in the morning?

Run like fuck to the nearest boozer
Run like fuck to the nearest boozer
Run like fuck to the nearest boozer
Ear-lye in the morning.

What do you do when you get to the boozer
What do you do when you get to the boozer
What do you do when you get to the boozer
Ear-lye in the morning?

Drink to the boys in the Royal Navy
Drink to the boys in the Royal Navy
Drink to the boys in the Royal Navy
Ear-lye in the morning.

What do you do when you got no money
What do you do when you got no money
What do you do when you got money
Earlye in the morning?

Run like fuck to the nearest whorehouse
Run like fuck to the nearest whorehouse
Run like fuck to the nearest whorehouse
Ear-lye in the morning.

(Note: the song does not explain how one could pay for the lady of the night's wares at the bordello in question; in my experience, it's best not to worry about such things. Let's get on to the suprisingly apposite chorus, shall we?)

Hoo-ray, 'nd up she rises
Hoo-ray, 'nd up she rises
Hoo-ray, 'nd up she rises
Ear-lye in the morning.

What do you do when she's nine months pregnant
What do you do when she's nine months pregnant
What do you do when she's nine months pregnant
Ear-lye in the morning?

Run like fuck to the Royal Navy
Run like fuck to the Royal Navy
Run like fuck to the Royal Navy
Ear-ly in the

Drink to the boys in the Royal Navy
Drink to the boys in the Royal Navy
Drink to the boys in the Royal Navy
Ear-lye in the morning.

What do you do when you leave the Navy
What do you do when you leave the Navy
What do you do when you leave the Navy...

[1] Pronunciation note: this is `early' as two distinct syllables, "err - lye"... but of course, you knew that already.

The song is put to best effect when sung over and over again, without cessation, until such time as lack of breath or unconsciousness overcomes one's ability to sing. My record is three times in row while simultaneously dealing with the obligatory post-pub pizza and fags (that's cigarettes, to Americans).

Thanks to Sylvar for reminding me to specify which Royal Navy I'm talking about here... it may be the One True Royal Navy to me, but I'm sure that some other monarchies might disagree....

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