I know I had nightmares, although I don't recall what they were of.

When I told Jessica this, she said that at some point in the night, I said very clearly, "I'm not okay."

If only I could be so honest in my waking moments.
I've been having recurring semi-nightmares, all revolving around driving. I assume this is due to my finally getting off my ass and attempting to get my license; I also suspect I have a small phobia of driving, and probably will continue to have it until I am comfortable driving.

So, the dream I had the other night, I was in the car, in the passenger seat, and we're on the streets around my suburb. Suddenly I realise there is nobody in the passenger seat, which of course disturbs me. I start trying to reach across to the pedals with me feet, trying to hit the brakes, but the brakes are not responding enough, and I find I have to press down real hard before they'll respond. (This is a recurring theme in these dreams) Finally I stop the car, then move over to the passenger seat, and continue driving.

Then it just got weird. I picked up Ervin, a friend of mine from high school, and we were trying to drive somewhere, but we'd keep either crashing, or just somehow failing to get there, and we'd end up in hell, which was actually my backyard. I think Satan was Harvey Keitel, like in Little Nicky, but I may have just linked the two outside my dream.

Everytime we get there, we have to get back out of hell by jumping up large steps, which are supposed to represent the levels of hell. Ervin is naming them as we go up them, but there are more than just the usual nine, and they start turning weird, so we have the 'Chocolate Swirl' level of hell, and one that I think was made of some sort of sponge cake.

I have weird dreams.

back to October 15, 2001 | on to October 19, 2001
Looks like a nightmare night all round.
I dreamed that I was packing for a long camping trip, not Burning Man, but long and requiring the same kinds of preparation. We had an old milk truck with scabby paint and shredded interior, packed to the gills with stuff. We were off to late start, but I insisted on going to this auction, which seemed to be being held by German immigrants in a tenement of some kind. The goods were strewn everywhere, and I was piling stuff in a laundry basket and making sure to bid on it. I knew that everyone was ready to go, and they were all impatient waiting for me. I won my bid, and took the basket outside. Once I got out there, I realized I'd forgotton to bid on all the things the other people in my group had wanted me to pick up for them. I went back in and found the auction was over, the German people had little sympathy for me. I was quite upset with myself, and went back outside to pick up the milk truck and go get my friends. After some searching, I realized the milk truck had been stolen, and I was going to be in deep trouble with my friends. All my camping gear, all my friend's baby's stuff, all the DJ equipment was in the milk truck. Ugh.
I woke up fifteen minutes before the alarm. Ugh again.

I'm in a train station/cafe. There are a lot of punk kids around, chaos kids, the kind that think you're on the wrong side of the class war if you have a job. I'm dropping off some stuff, and I'm trying to dye my hair. I'm using some kind of "normal" hair dye, not my normal manic panic/punky colors. The dye is black and red. I'm trying to get my friend N. to help me, but he's never done this before and he's highly distractable. We have to go somewhere, and we're leaving about the time the dye is supposed to come out. I can't get it out myself. I'm trying to step lightly over the kids, but I'm not sure if I'm stepping on them or not so I keep apologizing. I'm getting on the subway, only now I'm getting into a black off-road vehicle that a woman I know is driving. We're heading over a wooden bridge that has a sharp incline leading up to it. We drive up it quickly and the car is airborne for a few moments, while I panic. I do not like being airborne. We land softly, but not before I have that unpleasant falling sensation. I wake up with the sound of someone singing 'remember...' over and over in my head.

On my way to class last night, I spotted a Moroccan restaurant, its windows obscured with thick carpets. The Open sign was in the door, and I decided the menu looked affordable, so I walked in. The meal consisted of five courses, so I ordered a bottle of red wine, and didn't leave the place until it was empty (the bottle, not the place).

What is it about red wine?

So last night my dreams were overflowing... took a long drive at night through the woods, and the driver kept on taking us through these places where big bulbs of red light were swaying... hunted man eating mechanical fish with Tom Cruse, until his dad (a cleverly disguised Marlin Brando) came out and lectured me on mistreating artifacts from "the wise ancient Greeks"... made love to an anonymous young lady who hovered above me, singing something almost too soft to hear (of course we didn’t go all the way, I haven’t had a wet dream in years, so why should I get one now?)...

Then I ended up drinking beer with N-----, the guy who fucked my ex-girlfriend a couple years ago. Surprisingly, I was not hacking him to bits, or scooping out his brains with a Phillip’s head screwdriver. We were just hanging out, shooting the shit. I even got him to talk about what exactly happened back then, and we came to a sort of resolution, sharing a pack of cigarettes and watching traffic pass us by.

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