On reflection, my dreams tend towards the virtuous. Whether it's a duel with an eye-shaped succubus made out of cheese or a reverse bungee jump I'm the good guy, fighting for truth, justice and kittens. There was the time I killed two people and then rewinded time so I could do it again, but I digress.

This time around, the apocalypse is coming prematurely. A celestial splinter group thinks it's time to wrap things up, yet they're obviously wrong and have to be stopped. Those of us In The Know draw plans and make preparations grim-faced. The ones above have started a process that will destroy the world in roughly a week with eschatological events and reality damage in increasing amounts, and the only way to stop it is causing enough depravity, carnage and mayhem to convince them that the Earth isn't worth it. My partner and I are assigned Wednesday: it's relatively normal but happens four times over. The first three end with a push of the reset button and only the fourth one sticks. The course of action is obvious.

Crime spree road trip!

With him behind the wheel of a Lamborghini and me manning the onboard computer, we pull onto the highway at my Finnish hometown and promptly arrive in Florida just south of California. It's the first Wednesday and the world's our playground. Chaos, crime, high-speed chases. Guns, lots of guns. We plunder our supply caches and take a hitchhiker with a PhD on the ride of his life. He saves mine once we steer off a bridge - a viable reason to switch to a monster truck.

My partner? He's a gruff, dutiful man while I'm myself, then he's as he was and I'm another, then he's my theologist father and I'm me. I think I might have seen Garfield and Odie there for a moment.

Taking a breather, we watch the freak weather and look for increasingly disturbing news on the radio. I lament that the alert level has only been raised by one colour, which means having to step up the trip. There are escapes on foot, too - my partner runs, I fly through the sheer power of awesome. Some distractions happen, such as a shopkeeper with a Latin name turning into Caesar Augustus who holds a wonderfully insulting speech and my plan to broadcast Firefly using Australia as a viewscreen, but it all holds together as we go save mankind by being bastards.

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