I think it was because I was watching the movies The Naked Gun
, and Airplane!
I was on a plane to Los Angeles, to hopefully see Kevin Smith at the comic book convention in San Diego. Why? I guess it was because of watching Chasing Amy.
Anyway, I was on my way back, the plane was landing at Long Island Macarthur airport. The plane trip was OK most of the way, I sprang extra for a First class seat. Very comfy, spacious.
The plane is coming in for a landing over Long Island. Normally the plane lands rear wheels first. This time the nose was tipped forward. I remember thinking What the Heck? All of a sudden, we were low enough to see the people on the ground. I looked out and saw the plane's wing just graze the control tower. I suddenly started to panic, as I thought the plane would hit, as the other wing started to break the windows of the terminal. We hadn't even had the wheels touch down, and I thought we were going to smash and roll.
Strangely, I wasn't too afraid, like I knew it wouldn't get that bad. I felt the front wheel hit the ground first, how odd. All of a sudden, I heard a terrific smash, and the left wing came right off. Immediately the rear left wheel dropped the 15 remaining feet and hit the ground. Hard. The right side didn't touch down, and the plane seemed to lose steering.
I get up and sprint the 3 rows to the cockpit, and wrench open the door. In it i see Leslie Nielsen screwing up. I jump into the left seat (the pilot?) and try to steer the huge bemoth of a plane. It's swerving to the left, cutting a big arc towards the buildings, and in danger of rolling.
I can barely drive an SUV, so I wrench the stick to the right, making the wheels slam into the ground. Rumble. I slam the panels in front of me, oxygen masks drop down, the thrust reversers engage, the flaps aim down. I stomp the ground and find the brake.
The plane veers off the tarmac, down the grassy knoll. Why do they have a hill next to a runway? The left wheel careens into the ditch, and the plane rolls. I see the imminent slamming, and slip on the shoulder straps. Aah!
The left window smashes, glass flying past me, as the metal scrapes into the ground. We're still dragging along with inertia and momentum. After 12 white knuckle seconds, the plane stops. I hear fire engines speeding up to the plane, and I heave a big sigh.