I guess this is my dream for tonight. I woke up late today. Weird dreams. They never stop haunting me. I wonder what extremes I have to do to achieve peace.

How freaky. I guess it starts at the movie theatre. But its not just any movie theatre. Its the size of half a hockey arena, with a gigantic screen with each section divided by huge pillars. The screen was translucent. I guess it was one of those future things. Weird.

Well, it started out normally. Popcorn. Hershey's Hugs. Large size Diet Pepsi. And Silence of the Lambs Special Edition. How cheezy. The movie goes well, but it seems like a blur to me. I look down my seat and notice I've stepped on some gum. Lovely. I leave my seat, and stroll up the stairs and head for the counter. Then, I see my ex-girlfriend Vivian on the right. How awkward. She looks at me and I say hi. She stands up and comes with me. We chat for a while then she sits back down on her seat.

The movie is over then I head over to the exit when someone grabs my arm. Guess who? She asked me whether I can give her a ride home. I don't know why I couldn't but I couldn't but I knew that I could get her a ride with someone else or I'll pay for her taxi. How lovely.

Then I walk out. The sky is golden, with mountains everywhere. It seems like the theatre was on top of a mountain. Anyways. Then I see my friend Natalie outside while I go to a pay phone. We chat for a while, then I go back inside to tell Vivian that I've gotten her a cab.

I walk in, she sees me, then runs down the stairs crying. I try to talk to her but she runs away from me. She screams, yells, and makes a big fuss. I run behind a pillar trying to know what I did. How wonderful. Then the screen fades to black again. I awaken. Whew. How weird.

While the light fades to black, I find myself closer to peace. I need not hide from the darkness as it will engulf us all.
I married Kevin Barnes. The wedding was on Union Pond back in Rhode Island; the guests, mostly our friends and my family, were set up outside at white-clothed tables. It was an overcast day. I wore a pink and grey minidress, and I fluttered about surrounded by my friends (who were apparently just generic friend-types and no one I know when I'm awake) waiting for Kevin to arrive.

He finally showed up, also dressed in pink and grey. He was frightened, for some reason, by a book we bought from a vending machine in the house. I kiss him and try to make him feel better - it's our wedding day, after all! - but he remains tense, edgy. He's so different from the sweet, gentle Kevin I know (or have imagined for dream purposes).

I go and see my mom's family, sitting together at a table near the front. It's a tense situation and we get into a brief argument about some jewelry my grandmother leaves on my plate. It's gold, and I don't wear gold.

Then, the actual ceremony, which mostly involves us scrutinizing each other's various forms of ID. We have to wait a while for the vows, since they're being broadcast on MTV along with various other musicians' vows (Kevin's in a band, see...though admittedly not a very mainstream one). The only other pair I remember was two blond British rappers in outlandish hats.

Then we're married, and we take a trip to New York City. We don't know exactly where we want to go, so we check into a random hotel and stretch out. The hotel is expensive and has tiny rooms, but there's all manner of conveniences situated on the first floor - stores, a laundry, and a crematorium.

My dad and his mother have come on the trip with Kevin and me. As we relax they stand up and put on their coats - Dad is taking darling Gramma June downstairs to get burned. Apparently, that's what she wants to do. They leave the room with a minimum of fanfare, Dad still in his suit and June in her best coat and hat, and all I can do is stare after them. Kevin cries on my shoulder. I just feel sick.

Then, it's a few weeks later. We're moving into a bright little apartment with houseplants and wood panelling - I hear myself telling Kevin that we can stay here in this Brooklyn residential hotel for six months, then we'll move down to Athens, his home, and we'll see which we like better.

Then we're in a car, and I'm driving (which I don't do when I'm awake) - apparently all our things are in it, it's six months later, and we're going south to Georgia. I have to pee, and I end up going in a (empty!) juice bottle, and we pull into a grassy rest stop and are greeted by an older lady who is outwardly friendly, but I can tell she doesn't approve of young ladies relieving themselves in bottles. I turn around to wake up Kevin when my roommate comes in and slams the door because it's 2pm and this has been one long-ass mother of a dream.
'Twas The Night Before Deadline
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, 
Not even a mouse 
The source code was written, and checked-in with care.
In hopes that release day soon would be there.

And I was nestled, all snug in my bed, 
While visions of source code danced in my head. 
Me in my p.j's, having counted some sheep,
Had just settled into a stress-induced sleep.

At three in the morning I awoke with a clatter!
   "The code is not perfect, I know what's the matter!"
Away to the office in my trusty chevette, 
Not a single idea would I forget!

The moon on the monitor sparkled like snow, 
Gave a luster of mid-day to the keyboard below.
When what should my wandering fingers produce?
Why a all new code, efficiently reduced!
It came in a rush, frenzied and quick, 
And I knew in a moment, this will do the trick! 

Faster than light, these functions they came,
And I whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now, getBase()! Now, getConf()! Now, setConf() and writeRow()! On gACL()! On wACL()! On, readIn() and setShow()! To the top of the market! We'll beat them all! Now, compile, compile! Compile away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, My fingers they flew, and the programs compiled, Then the for loops went for, And the while loops went while! As I ran my creation I suddenly knew, The program was working, and beautifully, too. I imagined success and wealth, new found, When through the window SANTA came with a bound! He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot! A bag full of magnets he had flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack. His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, His nose like a cherry His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow And the beard on his chin was a white as the snow. The stump of a pipe he held tight in this teeth. And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a little round belly That shook when he laughed, Like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump -- A right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, In spite of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and erased all my source code, then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod --- Out the window he rose! He sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew Like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight:
"GET A LIFE PEG!" "YOU DREAM CODE AT NIGHT!"

My dream was set on an island in the Pacific ocean, but nothing was to scale. From the island I was on, I could see California off in the distance about 1 mile away, Asia about a mile in the other direction and, amusingly, Greenland off to the north, several miles away. Apparently my subconcious doesn't have a very keen sense of geography. The sky was a deep, bruised shade of blue, completely devoid of stars and seemed very low and enclosing.

I wanted to get back home to California, so I began swimming west across the ocean. As I was swimming, I looked to my left and saw the silouhette of jagged mountains, which in the dream I knew as Greenland, set against the deep blue sky. I marvelled at how beautiful the black mountains looked against the blue.

Suddenly, about a third of the way across the ocean, I came to the alarming realization that sharks live in the ocean. Terrified, I started swimming back to shore.

"I'm scared!", I shouted to my roommate, who had apparently blinked into existence back on the shore.

No response.

As I was swimming back, I saw him in the water swimming west.

"Dude!! We can't swim, there's sharks in the water!", I silently shouted to him. He didn't hear me.

Fuck it, I'm swimming back without him.

As I swam back, I looked over my shoulder and saw that he was indeed being assailed by a shark. Filled with a mixed sense of helplessness and guilt, I kept swimming back to shore instead of trying to help him.

I made it back to the shore and proceeded to shout meaningless words of encouragement to my distressed roommate, who was somehow fending off the shark and making his way back to shore. As he swam up to the shallows, I went out to meet him and found that he had a deep cut in his chest, which he was attempting to apply pressure to with his hand. The ocean water thinned the blood that was dripping out between his fingers and down his chest.

I lifted his hand from the wound, poured a glass jar of alcohol on his chest to disinfect it, and then...

the dream fades away.

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