I was at my neighbors' house. We were watching movies. I couldn't sit still, and so I wandered around their house (which was nothing like what it is RL) and noticed they had a big-ass slot machine. Out of curiosity, I put in some Hong Kong currency I had in my pocket (a 20-cent piece), and a little LED display registered "HK$0.2," the little spindles spun, and out came a big mess of more Hong Kong currency. I repeated this several times, until I got bored with having apparently an infinite source of HK$10 coins.

I wandered around some more, and found that they had a voodoo doll of me. I gave it a sex change, bleached its hair, and then gave it an anime hair hairstyle. My neighbors thought it looked good on me, but then again, they're otaku.

Suddenly I found myself on a tour boat off the coast of Madagascar. The tour guide was pointing us in the directions of the island nations of Yugoslavia and Kentucky, which have been at war for years now. Occasionally we could see little bottle rockets being launched from one side to the other.

Oh, and the tour guide just happened to be John Cleese.

(Then I woke up to realize that my clock radio had turned on and I was getting random snippets of international news from NPR with various newscasters, some of whom had British accents.)

- / +

We looked for the monsters for a long time and could not find them. Finally we figured out they had frozen themselves in blocks of ice to look like bricks, and they were supporting the building, forming the walls of the basement. I clawed into one brick and felt cold nails and sinew. They were waiting. We knew we had to get out of there fast. We climbed up up up the wall toward the ground. Get Martha you have to get her! She said she couldn't, she would have to let go to grab her, could not save them both. She kept going. I almost kept going but it was her soul, not just her body. I reached back down and grabbed the statue and somehow, somehow I got to the top, all of us safe as the building collapsed under the ground.

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