Dream Log: June 12, 2001

Recently, my boyfriend has been playing a lot of "Black & White" -- a game where you play God over villages. Sort of an interesting game, though I had no real desire to play it ... I thought.

(Let the dream begin.)

I found myself standing on the green of a slope, surrounded by wandering people and cows. There was a pleasant shade of blue across the sky, broken up by bits of swirling white.

It was my turn to play God.

I didn't know what to do. My boyfriend was there with me, coaching me. I flew up into the air to get a better view of the island, but was not sure how to come back down. I hung in the air for a while, tilting and twisting and pointing at things until I finally swooped down to where he stood.

My next project was to learn how to pick up people and move them. I floated over to a teenage girl, hearing, "She's not high enough!" whispered in the background. I reached down to pick up the girl, but indeed, I was too close, so rather than grab her entire body, I just grabbed her blonde ponytail.

I tried to pick her up, but she started screaming, so I had to set her down again. Feeling defeated, I drifted back over to my boyfriend. Shaking his head a little, he told me that we had a lot of work to do if I was ever going to be an acceptable God.

I just don't think I'm cut out for it.

First part I remember of my dream is that I'm moving again. Packing things up, putting them in boxes, hauling them down some long stairs and loading them up. As usual in my moving dreams, I'm not prepared, and there's just so MUCH STUFF. It seems never to end. There's a huge garage/shop with lots of neat stuff in it...very expensive tools and great furniture. Somehow, it's been left by the previous owner and although I own the house, it belongs to that person. There are piles and piles of tires..new tires in all sizes. I ask someone what those tires are for, and the reply is that the tires represent the ex-owner's retirement. I guess the guy is gonna sell all the tires and live off the proceeds. Also, a reoccuring theme in my dreams, and one that I haven't had for a long time returns. As I'm exploring all the cool stuff in the garage I find a locked door. I can barely peek through the crack, and I realize it's the old attic room from previous dreams, filled with really cool stuff, mainly chairs, but vaguely scarey and threatening.

Then I'm in the next part of my dream. I'm in a hotel, apparently at some training session in Portland. As usual, I lose my key and get another from the clerk. I have somehow scored a HUGE amount of cocaine. When I go to my room, it's decorated like a wild west saloon, complete with a galvanized tub for a bathtub and a single cot for a bed. I also am sharing a room with a man. Somehow he and I start talking, and find out that we're basically soul mates and the inevitable happens. As we're laying there, my friend Dena walks in. She's somewhat surprised, but happy for me. He has to travel to some other town in the morning, so basically that's the end of our involvement.

What does any of this mean? Hmmmm...moving has been a common theme in my dreams lately. I don't believe it's literal, but rather a symbol for me moving on...maybe moving beyond some things in my life lately, mainly everquest and depression. The tires? Dhokarr. Everquest friend who works at Les Schwab. The locked room from my past? Not sure..maybe more growing and exploring to do. chairs? what's the deal with chairs? resting? sitting back? relaxing? The hotel and me always losing my keys...this always happens in my dreams. Key? hmmmm must be something i still need to learn to unlock something? sounds good to me. the guy? not sure about that..or at least not willing to explore it here. actually i'm pretty sure.

I can't really remember my dreams. It's strange because in the dreams I dreamt that I was dictating my dreams to Matthew McConnaughy (don't know if that's how you spell it) who was writing about the dreams so I wouldn't forget about it, but at the same time I was already forgetting what happened.

I was going to a new school, maybe a new University. I was going there with my friend Nici and Chris. It was the first day so there was a party welcoming the 1st year students. The party was being held on the roof of the newly built addon of the playdium in Metrotown. There was a room that you had to get into, but the only way you could do that was to jump onto something that looked like those steering things on the back of a small boat that you just hold on to to direct the direction of the boat. The thing is it sits on a platform in the middle of the air, you had to jump to it. It wasn't a very far jump, there were stairs surrounding it. You had to pull the steer back and it would open the ceiling leading to another room that eventually leads to the roof. Well everytime I did it, people would quickly jump through the ceiling like taking a free ride or something, but I didn't really care, they just annoyed me because they were so loud.

At one point or other in the dream I was wandering around and I eventually got lost, I ended up in Pacific Center and I called Chris who began to look for me because he asked me where I was and I said I couldn't find the way back. I went around and asked people how to get back to Metrotown because somehow it was just across the street or something. Chris finally found me but then he didn't know the way back either, we both had a faint idea and finally one of the ladies that was working told us some clue. You had to go through some door in the direction of Metrotown to get there. We found a door that led out into the street and we went through that but we ended up in an apartment building and there were these mysterious men coming in our direction. They were all dressed up in suits and looked rather evil, they ignored us thankfully and we continued walking down the hallway. We noticed one of the doors to be open and we looked in, we were kind of freaked out because it was a murder scene so we just continued walking and decided to try not looking into other rooms. We reached the door that lead to the stairs and we climbed to the top, always having the fear that the people we saw earlier were following us, or were looking for us now because we saw the murder. We finally found a door that led out and we ended up on the roof. We could see the party on top of another building not far away, just across the street.

I was thinking about how we were going to get there, and I tried to fly, like in my other dreams but I didn't seem to have enough energy to keep it up. Chris suggested we do what they did in the Matrix and I was like yeah I can do that, because even if I did start to fall I could use my flying powers to let me stay up until I landed on the other side. So that's what we did and we got to the party but it was ending now, and the people I really wanted to talk to were already gone.

I was in my kitchen getting some food, my family was having a party with a bunch of my relatives that we haven't seen for awhile. One of the girls came up to me and took my food, I got angry but I just let it go, she kept talking to me but I can't remember what she was saying, I was just annoyed with her. The little girl then disappeared (she was little, but she was my age). I remember worrying if the doors to the bedrooms were open or closed upstairs because I had the suspicion of the little girl going up to the bedrooms and taking things since she has done that in the past. When the little girl came back down she looked angry and pissed off, I went to the bottom of the staircase in the house and was happy to see all the doors were closed and locked.

It was the end of the party and everyone was leaving, the timeline and clothes suddenly changed. It was like the westerns or 18th century England? Well the little girl was wearing an earring and she took it off and said that she was the rightful heir to something because she had the earring. She claimed it was a real diamond and I stopped her from saying anymore. I got Matthew to fetch the earring in my room that my mother had entrusted to me to keep so she wouldn't lose it. He came back, and gave me the ring while I took hers. They looked identical but I did the test with diamonds. I used my earring and scratched her earring deeply while when I did it the other way around her earring couldn't scratch mine.

I got angry and told her how dare she try to fake the family heirloom and then try to claim that she was the heir. I exiled her from the family, and did not allow her to communicate with her parents or anyone else from the family and sent her away. But she complained and said she didn't have anywhere to go, and I said that it was her problem, she should have thought about it before she did this.

If liking you means Slipknot will kick my ass, then maybe we should just make out a little and call it a day.

(I'm punk rock and I title all my nodes, dream entry or no dream entry.)

A little information before we get to my dream.

Last night I had a date with a pretty girl. She was of the post-hardcore frenetic mosh crowd, highly evolved and well read, had unnatural colored hair styled in a very toned down, casual way, and listened to but *didn't* define herself (Thank God) by the indie-rock music she enjoyed on her mp3 player during her morning subway commute.

We had dinner, took a walk, and called it an early evening because I was sleepy. I'd been up for a good twenty hours or so before the date, graphic designing stuff for work and for myself. It was a really nice evening, even though I was hurting for some much needed sleepies. Luckily, the conversation was wonderful and she was absolutely stunning to watch. The kind of girl that gets prettier and prettier when she says certain vowels that do subtle contortions underneath round, natural lips. So that was that. I'm not really one to push hard for a second date, so we had one very sexy kiss and called it a night. Good dates are like good PC video games. Enjoy it as much as you can before you finish it and don't expect much out of the sequel.

So I prep up for some much needed sleep. I put on my dragonball Z jammies (which, btw, come in sizes small, medium, and hopeless) and go to sleep.

My dream starts off innocent enough. I'm walking along the outer concrete path which later winds up into Randall's Island Stadium. Through no specific information gleaned in the dream, I am positive that I am going to a Warp Tour outdoor concert. You know, those things with five hundred stages where every fifteen year old with an mxpx shirt can play a set with his punk band of other kids with mxpx shirts.

I wonder around, careful to not get caught looking at all the girls in belly shirts, and lo and behold, the girl from this evening's date is directly in front of me. A few feet behind a security barricade, she is wearing a belly shirt and khaki jnco twin cannon scary-person pants.

And she's making out with all the members of Slipknot.

So of course, I walk over there with every intention of picking a fight with everyone's favorite metal sensation from Iowa. I jump the security barricade and begin my jiggly, erratic run towards violent mass deconstruction of those fuckers who stole the smart and pretty girl away from me. As I feel the rounds of fat slowly slap against my internal organs and the sweat begin to form and crease down my forehead, I realize that this fight is not going to really go in my (a fat angry kid's) favor. Too late though.

Fuckin' hell if I'm not gonna start some kinda shit for all my sweatin' and goddamn running. I didn't do all this dreaming and jogging and anger mis-management for nothing.

It's only when I'm about to kick some tall man wearing a Pinocchio-from-hell mask in the cock that I realized I was still in my dragonball Z jammies. It was suddenly more important for me to stop and contemplate the fact that I dream with my pajamas on than to finish through with my deep-feeling surprise kick of testicular meltitude. Interestingly enough, this was the same time all nine members of Slipknot realized what I was up to.

It should have been that I woke up the moment one of those rubber masked fuckers laid a hand on me. Not the case. I begin to get my ass beat into the lawn and my dignity smeared along the soiled ground and bloody rocks beneath me.

All around me, young little gap-rock punkers and white kids with clown and gasmasks on are lining up around the security barricades. I suppose, as I lay here taking the pummeling of my life, that Slipknot will be playing their much anticipated set soon. In good form, the fans shout praise for the band's current album release as they somewhat disband partially from the ass-kick to sign autographs and take pictures with their loyal hellfire cadre of hard-cored children.

Meanwhile, I weep uncontrollably as my thick layer of fat loses its ability to shield those more important organs from laced up metal plated boots. My fetal position turns more into a ragged, half hearted squat as I try to fend off hands, boots, and screaming rubber masks while alternately trying to find the pretty girl with the unnatural colored hair.

Just then I see her on stage, making out with the dread locked member of Slipknot. Throngs of captive audience hard-rockers cheer and clap at such a scene.

An asskicking, some bootie gettin', and a set by Slipknot?

I'd probably be cheering too.

You know, if it wasn't *me* getting killed.

Oh, and if I liked Slipknot.

I wake up finally and drink some water. It's 5am and hopefully some Iron Chef reruns will be on TV. They should really take Martha Stewart off the air too. She's fucking annoying and I bet Slipknot would agree with me.

Harry Potter is actually intertwined with The Lord of the Rings. After years of editorial suppression, the "real" lord of the rings books are coming out, now with Harry Potter included. There are 7 books to LotR's 3 (6). 1-3 are fellowship, 4 is something that vaguely resembles two towers, 5-7 are the the return of the king. I've just reread the original fellowship, and now I'm reading book 4 of the new series. It's so good! I wish I'd read 1-3 of the new books instead of fellowship. I am a useless observer character in the book as I read.

Harry Potter is riding a motorcycle down a busy street, with Ron Weasley on the back. A big dog (not sirius, just a random german shepard that belongs to H.) is driving a second motorcycle tethered to the back; I am his passenger. This was an impulsive move and he knew it; sure enough, a policeman who is Satan pulls us over. We enter a drugstore. Satan confronts us in the back in a candy aisle. I eat a toblerone ice square and discard the wrapper. I worry that they'll charge me for the square even though it was mine. Satan is furious with us. "AN UNLICENSED DRIVER! ARE YOU INSANE!" I point out that the dog has a license on his collar. I feel bad immediately; satan glares at me, but ignores the comment. He storms off to the cashier's counter. I spend a long time in the candy aisle, looking for another ice square. I can't find one, but I do find a new kind of snickers bar, "ice cream flavour" with a picture of exploding mini-marshmallows on it, and choose it. I take it to the checkout, lowering my eyes as I pay Satan, and leave. Everyone is waiting outside for me; Harry shouts as we leave "Thank you for your kindness, Satan!" Indeed, he has been kind. He had to pull us over, curse his bones, but he could have been much worse, and imperilled our mission.

Harry/Frodo, now alone, is wandering some blasted grey woods. Giemaria, an irritating witchy woman, tall and beautiful and terrible, follows him around, constantly scheming to join his company (to his great irritation). He suspects she is up to no good, out to sabotage him and learn his secrets for the aid of Sauron. As he hides from her in a deserted house in the blasted lands, he comes to the realization that she is actually a transformed Hermione, unable to explain her situation, but trying to communicate as best she can. He throws the door open, and beckons her to his motorcycle. She smiles gratefully and over the course of the ride (Ron is back now on another bike) changes slowly back to her true form.

At the Hogwarts castle, martial law is in effect. Harry is a persona non grata. Moreover, they can't figure out how to get their motorbikes past the book guarding the gates. Normally the school freighter flies up over the lava pits and does ceremonial battle when the book turns in to a giant dragon, but their bikes won't do for that. Hermione insists that the book will recognize them and let them in. Sure enough, it does. They are in a dungeon bedroom, idly playing with team pennants. A green potion is brewing. They can hear conversation outside the door.

THUS ENDS PART FOUR OF THE WAR OF THE RING

I put down the book. That was book 4 of the revised series; books 5,6,7 have not yet been published. Although I know how it all ends, having read the original many times, I can't wait to read these. I'm topless; but all of a sudden there's a horrible water leak in the den, so I have to put on a pink and blue sundress to go find the building manager. It's a sunday, so I hope I can find her. I don't have the emergency number, and for some reason I can't go to the lobby to get it. The water is bubbling up around my computer. Someone knocks on the door. Mostly in to my sundress, I answer it. Hurray, it's the building manager! She was coming to pick me up for a beach party, but I point out the crazy spurting water fountain that has appeared in the middle of my wall.