I just forced myself awake from terrible dreams
about nuclear war
Started out as leftover from another dream; surreal
story like a video game
, details hazy now, but for some reason a nuclear missile
hidden inside a moped
. Lots of subways. Lighthearted. Traffic lights
bearing down, like a net.
Then, later on, morphed into the war dream
; walking down a suburban
street, near the Wasatch
front in Utah
) I knew it was coming.
behind me, but the flash wasn't realistic. Slow, like molasses
, white light
Enough time to hide
in the lee side
of a house, duck into a shadow.
The light burns on your skin
. In my sleep, my skin was burning, like a horrible sunburn
, wherever this phantom light touched it.
Somehow wound up sheltered with other people (celebrities
? not as themselves, like as characters in a film
, not everyone) in the house attic
, though later the attic was the basement
Seemed as if there was no destruction
. Tried to get online
(somehow no EMP
knocked out computers) to tell people I was alive
The house I was in was that of a personal enemy, played by the blonde Baldwin
(when going back and linking, that makes me smile
. It didn't at the time). Normally hostile, allowing us to stay 'cause of extraordinary circumstances
Trying to communicate to others (names of noders
in IM buddy list
). SEE A WHITE TOMAHAWK MISSILE
fly lazily by the window. Pulls up, seeking. "It's happening again!
Duck and cover
, away from the light. Press into corners, by bookcases, by walls. Light comes in everywhere. Every crack, window. Can't get away entirely. Squeeze eyes closed, throw arm across face to keep from going blind. (I woke up with my arm pressed tightly across my eyes)
Again, no sound, no destruction (near us anyway), just horrible light, burning skin.
, suddenly. Go up to a cupola
on the roof.
A mushroom cloud
is blowing toward us, up the street past us, like a tornado
. Doing no serious damage, just being silentlly blown by.
Back downstairs, describing what I just saw. The father from American Pie
Another flash, another duck and cover, then I force myself awake
The dread is still in my skin
, my face is heavy and I had to get this down
Haven't dreamed about nuclear war in a long time. As a child of the eighties, thanks to Reagan, I used to have nuclear war nightmares all the time. Horrible dreams. I can't fathom what it must have been like to grow up in the fifties, with cheery propaganda films telling you how to "survive" this horrible insanity your government is subjecting you to for a pointless "bigger dick" contest. I think the dreams were my first political consciousness. I hated it so much. How could any government hold their people hostage like that? It was pure evil.
My eyes are teary. trying to breathe deeply, get it all out, let it go so I can go back to sleep. Going back to format and link up the above; hopefully that'll let it all fade.
I don't want any child to dream of nuclear war ever again.