Reality Avalanche

  • Standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Further back, the landscape rises up in a sheer mountain face. A subsonic rumbling begins to sound as metaphysical avalanche begins to fall down the mountain towards me. It is simply a wave of reality destruction about to relocate my surroundings to the far side of the Eschaton. I watch it come and notice, as it nears me, how my body sense begins to strobe and fluctuate as the wave approaches. I am gone even before it hits me.

  • I am a child again, playing in the sun with my cousins while my mother watches fondly from nearby.

  • I am a purely digital entity--conscious software being executed on a human being emulator. Using genetic algorithms, I modify myself into a successful mutations.
I'm going to see a movie. the lineup is long. when I get there, I panic - they have a $5 minimum charge for using an interac card. I am forced to buy $6 worth of overpriced movie candy, and then am embarassed to realize I forgot to buy my ticket, so have to pay on a separate slip. I go in to the theatre. P_I and Gordon are busy picking out seats way in the back. I suggest we go sit in the middle, where there's still room. They say ok, and we walk to the middle. It is an aisle in Walmart. We each have a pantyhose egg in a certain size (I have the last size 25) which contains our sleeping bag. We climb up the long ladder to the top of the shelf to make our sleeping spots out of piles of packaged socks. I'm scared to be up so high and drongo helps me climb back down the ladder a bit to a lower shelf. Happy, I curl up asleep in the socks. Gordon is making a sock castle of some kind.

As my alarm clock starts going off this morning, I am sleepily convinced that it's actually gordon trying to wake me up. "No, no, it's not time. NO! I can tell you're trying to trick me."

Ein, zwei, drei, alle!


  • me - just an average joe.
  • her - my girlfriend.
  • josh - some real dopey guy i know. yeah, he's my friend.
  • ishmael - layabout 1. i think he's mildy retarded.
  • matt - layabout 2. i think he might've secretly been a hitman. if he was, ishmael knew and always joked about it with
  • cashier lady - i don't know. she was kinda old. i don't think she spoke english.
  • jello biafra - he was also a cashier(!).


a store. sorta like one of the ones around here, like the liquor store that sells clothes and prayer candles and you can't tell if the guy behind the counter is staring at you because he wants your number or he thinks you're some secret operative from the kgb out to shut him down. anyhow, this store had everything. i saw bullet proof vests. i passed a big cardboard box on the counter full of chocolate milk in little caprisun-type packets. i think it sold guns. whatever.

ishmael was behind the counter when i walked in, he had a vacant expression on his face, and he just sorta looked at me. matt was in the back of the store, in the stockroom. the counter lady was behind one counter, that was along one wall. she was haggling with some customer. some old mexican dude was trying on a bulletproof vest. he looked like the toothless dude from desperado. i walked over to the other counter, where jello was haggling with some old lady. seems that she wanted to buy this thing that was $9000 but she couldn't pay for it with both credit card and cash. i dunno. eventually they came to an agreement and he signed his name on some piece of paperwork.

supernatural whooshing amnesia effect. fade to black.
fade back in on jello sitting behind the counter, going
over some paperwork. ishmael is sitting on a metal folding
chair about 3-4 feet away from jello. matt is drinking
something, i think it's orange juice. i'm on the counter,
half laying down, half leaning against a cabinet that's
suddenly on the counter.

ishmael and matt are talking about something, as matt walks over. jello looks through paperwork. i remember thinking heh. jello protests against government and preaches iconoclasty, and yet here he is signing his name to paperwork. all that aside, it's pretty groovy, we seem to be chatting. i remember singing as we sleep under my breath, and ishmael was kinda grooving to that. (i remember thinking something about children and crazy people and the mentally handicapped being tools of god and music. crazy shit.) jello was chattering idly with the others i guess, still going through paperwork. i guess i was talking, too. but i don't remember what we were talking about. at one point, ishmael mentioned something about some situation being fucked up. i replied that yeah, i had seen a lot of fucked up shit in my life. jello looked at me and said "no big deal" wow. it's that simple. heh. and thusly i was illuminated. there wasn't much else to this dream, i remember earlier that my girlfriend had a bit part in it, she was running around freaking out about a missing celtic knotwork ring. josh was there. he was sleeping. heh.


My dreams last night were too intense to let me sleep through the night and I know my body burned up energy just dreaming them - I'm exhausted. I can't remember a single image from them, but I know they had to do with problem solving, and the only other characters in them were my primary lover and a friend. Every time I woke up I remember having to make a conscious decision as to whether or not I wanted to go back to sleep because each time I did, the plot would thicken, and the chain of events would be more intense. I was frustrated, but I was too sleep deprived to fight. My dreams were darker than the night.

The only dream I can remember was the one I had this morning, and for a change it's easy enough to write out. My dreams are usually fragmented, but oftentimes with fairly strong and vivid imagry. I've resolved to write them down more often, not neccessarily for noding, but more often because they are indeed prophetic, as was this one.

I was a teacher or an assistant at a countryside school that had two farmhouse buildings at a right angle to each other, both sharing the same grassy backyard. The weather was perfect (for me, perfect is a spring/fall Northeast US climate), the sun was shining, and I believe I was wearing a long pale, flowered, and pastel colored country girl kinda dress (No, this was not a nightmare. Deeahblita can be a soft girlygirl too, sometimes. *grin*) and my hair was long again and probably just one colour, my natural dark brown.

At one point, I was out in the yard walking alongside some of the students as they were making their way from one building to the other. It wasn't a very large yard, but these students were a troupe of ants, and although I couldn't see them, I could talk to them easily as if their voices were a hundred times larger than their bodies. :) I could hear the leader calling cadence through the grass, and I was quite amused watching the grass sway and part as an indicator of where they were. It was just plain, silly fun. I was just escorting them, my friends, and we chatted happily back and forth.

On their journey they had to gather twigs and stems and leaves for their class. They were carrying a large (for them) pile already and since I knew they were running late for class and having trouble making it through the tall grass with the pile, I took it from them and placed it on the doorstep of the destination building and they expressed their gratitude. I'm guessing those were tools for the class they were heading off to, and instinct tells me that it was a class for building something, perhaps shelter.

After dropping off their supplies and seeing that they were near their destination, I said goodbye and headed back to the other building. It was darker, not as serene, and I knew that I had problems here. Perhaps this building was where my earlier dreams from that night had taken place and stepping out into the yard was a moment of respite. I saw a few different people there (including a servant in a long white dress who had delicious boobs with perky erect nipples, and I drooled over them in the dream, sigh - Deeahblita is a pervert, even in her dreams) but none that were familiar to me. The dream didn't last much longer after this and nothing happened of interest. It just ended with me feeling uncomfortable in this darker house with a feeling that something was on the verge of bad trouble.

What this all means, IMHO:
My best guess is that I've been helping other people out with their problems because they're definitely easier to deal with than my own. I didn't see the sticks and leaf stems as tools until I started noding this. Perhaps I should just be more of an observer and a listener than helping them carry their weight. After all, these are their tools for their class. Even though it's not a burden for me at all, and we all feel like I'm helping, carrying the tools is part of their learning process. If it were all so simple, life experience should come in storebought learning modules.

I need to refocus energy on myself as that was one of my original goals this year and I, once again, have lost sight of that. I'm still here for friends, but I can only listen and give hugs and be silly with you. My backpack is empty and I need to gather my tools. *sigh* How long do I have until sunset?

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