I always have dreams about the characters from Full House
. I was going to a summer daycamp, and the children from the television show were there. In a limited 3rd person
view, I heard them talking to their Uncle Jesse
about how they believed the camp was haunted because Candace Cameron
's character had swam to the bottom of an empty pool (which was made of dried mud, rather disgusting) and someone had written "ugly" at the bottom.
"But then I learned that they used this pool last year, so I think another camper did that."
Then I had a conscious thought and I said to myself,
"If this weren't Full House, I could think of at least 400 obscene phrases that could have gone better there."
I'm at home, it's morning... I was actually half awake. I had the impression that I was talking on the phone with my boyfriend about a note that someone had written on my bedroom wall by my window. It was a secret admirer note, though not really, and it was more to my concern who wrote it. All I remember was that it ended saying, "tip top cheerio." I took it that the entire note was supposed to note a sarcastic edge. So I called him up, and I accused him of writing this sarcastic note. He wanted to know where I got the idea that he wrote that from. I then said that he had msg'ed me on Everything one time and said "cheerio" at the end of the message. Only I conciously thought moments later that it wasn't he that had said cheerio, but another user. I cringed. Then I said something about Paul McCartney writing it. I have a clay action figure of him that rests on my windowsill. The way he was positioned, in my dream I thought that the real Paul, though immobile, was standing outside of my window in the distance, looking at me.
Ben: "But Aimee, that doesn't make any sense!"
Me: "Don't tell me what doesn't make sense!"
Then that scene ended, and Uncle Jesse is having some weird fixation with not kissing Michelle when they put her to bed. He's trying to prove to Rebecca or whatever the girlfriend's name is, that he isn't a soft little dork. He kisses Michelle when he is alone, though she is too young to understand this and cries when he doesn't.
Meanwhile, I'm having some situation where I'm in some stage bathroom with Ben, and he's sitting down on a closed toilet. He's upset with me. There's a hole in the shower curtain. I ask him why it is there. He says they are holding some sort of sweepstakes and this is the place where you fill out the forms. I look in and there is a yacht inside. I turned back to him.
Me: "So.. you win a yacht if you win?"
Ben (nodding): "Who would want a yacht?"
Me: "Someone with a lot of open-ocean sailing in mind, I presume." I washed my hands.
Ben: "No! Aimee, you just submitted an entry for me for that contest!"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Ben: "You see, one person washes their hands, and then their boyfriend or girlfriend washes THEIR hands.. and that submits an entry."
Me: "How would they know it was you or I?"
Ben: "Because of the soap."
I look down at the soap resting next to Ben. It's some bar of soap that says "Wednesday's Boy" on it. I'm transfixed on the soap.
Me: "Ben, that's a generic brand name bar of soap."
Ben: "Exactly.. and it's mine!"
Me: "It's generic and brand name.. it's neutral. It's no one's."
Me: "And my soap.. it's hotel soap! Ha! Take that Howard's Inn!" (Howard Zinn?)
There are some sweepstake rules written on a shower curtain saying you have a 1.519:1 chance of winning. I wake up before any winner is ever announced.
There is also a different dream where I go to Walmart with my dad. It looks more like a grocery store. I am trying to buy stuff, but I am afraid to. My dad tells me to get whatever. He says, "If money were limitless, I'd get you anything you wanted." That made even the me in my dreams feel immensely unhealthy amounts of guilt for not having a job at my age.
I'm on good terms with my dad so far until we get to the cash register. Something happens where he does not hear me, so I scream it as loudly as possible in his ear. Something to the effect of
"I'LL PAY THE FUCKING 4 GODDAMN DOLLARS FOR MY FUCKING DILDO THANK YOU VERY MUCH MR. ROBOTO!"
(and then I start singing Mr. Roboto under my breath). I look up and the entire store is staring at me. I run away crying and then wake up.