Dream Log: August 3, 2000

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• I was Keanu Reeves and I knew my deception would sour the wine.
• The old woman handed me the jesus beads, tiny gold tarnished beads that had been sewn on the neck of the tunic he'd been crucified in. I reached for them but they spun away from my hand like magnetic poles. Pete didn't understand but I did. I felt the magnetic electricity pulse through me stronger than it had ever been, and I started crying, I knew there would be no more hiding it.

  "I discovered this in tenth grade. You're only the second person who knows this." I damped down my focus and reached for the beads, able to hold them now. I held them for a second, feeling them throb warmly in my hand, then opened my hand and the string of beads flew away from me again, but this time I was controlling them, and I pulled them back. I did this several times, but Pete (the old woman was gone) seemed to think I was throwing them, controlling their motion with tiny motions of my own. I spread my palm out flat and levitated the beads above my hand. The beads worked best because of what they were, but I could do the same with a button and a pencil. Pete didn't say much.

• Found a $40 bill which bugged me a little, knew something wasn't right, but pocketed it anyway.
• I snuck over to my aunt and uncle's house to spread pinestraw over their front yard, to help stop the erosion. I wasn't supposed to. My aunt planted a microphone, trying to catch me at it.
• Counting my mother's earrings shaped like shoes. I was furious. Couldn't find the little silver earrings I wanted and couldn't believe she owned so many stupid things she never wore. I had to find the right ones or he would not be impressed with me.

Repeating Fever Dream

• Over and over again, in Oliver Stone-style camera effects, in slow motion, in infrared, my new friend J and his girlfriend are in a head-on collision. I never see enough to know if they live or die.

I'm in Newport, Rhode Island or maybe Coronado Island, California, and the lady is Karen from that stupid Big Brother show. She's caretaker or something at this beautiful garden. She picks up the rag rug and bugs drop off of it. She identifies each one as it falls:
"Red Spider", "Golden Beetle"
None of the bugs have names I've ever heard of, but each one seems right, and she's very earnest.

It's not often that I remember dreams. But this morning, I woke up with something definite in mind - Hannah, my ex, and something fairly important had happened to her. First thought was that she'd been hit by a car, but I wasn't sure if that was in connection to her or not..

Continued/August 3, 2000