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  • cleaning the litterbox

  • trying to read but big stupid Eric couldn't hold still

  • trying to pay attention to the movie but couldn't. my mind kept drifting away, which worried me, but I kept forgetting to stay worried. There were so many other things to dwell on.

  • In the ice cream shop I approached him carefully. He was nervous. I told him gently that she was not who he had thought, and I had proof. He was upset but not too upset to refrain from hitting on me.
  • it was a nuclear war dream, a bomb went off in washington, dc (i live about 20 miles outside). it wasn't so bad, since i live northeast of the city, the fallout went towards the bay and the ocean. where i lived it was just like a tornado hit. most structures were flattened. in the process of finding a way to survive i met up with a motley rag-tag group of people. we found a house and began to prepare to defend it. in fact, that was the only reason i was allowed to join the group was because i owned guns which would serve to defend us and get us food.

    usually my nuclear nightmares are awful horrible things, but this was more like an adventure. somewhat exciting.
    I dreamed Georgia
    last night, a sweet
    darkness unseen, but there
    snakes, peanut fields
    a warm February with
    grass twisted between
    my fingers, the heavy
    smell of earth as it
    exists, a pond
    one lone boat
    with its peeled paint-
    and there, on the dark
    side of the earth shadow
    a full moon, perfect-
    rough glitter on the water
    where we swim to forget
    the day outside of skin,
    what heat was-
    and where are you, in
    all this
    smooth half of a circle
    lowering to the river
    stars, the sudden one that falls
    and is gone-
    my hand,
    closing.

    At a family gathering, I mentioned that I would be moving back to the area, sometime during the year. A couple of relatives mock keeled-over at the news, making me giggle a little bit. I tried to mention the names of the school and church with which I would be associated, but couldn't remember. "...St. Something, but not the St. Something that runs the school..." They didn't understand. I didn't understand. I giggled some more.

    I was in a tiny box and people-shapes were trying to climb in with me. I wanted to tell them that there was no room, but i knew they wouldn't listen (or wouldn't hear), so i tried to make myself smaller. The lighting was dim. Because of the crowding and jostling, i couldn't move my limbs.



    Ed and I were on the way to work, driving along 91. Eventually we look up and see this big green sign that says "Welcome to Canada" Somehow we'd gone North. We come to the decision that we should stop somewhere to call and let them know we'll be late.

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