• Vegetables don't come when you call
• You know you're in a terrible mood when the songs don't work
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• Don't lick stuff when it's cold
• Girls who go home with you when they don't even know your name
• Stoned music memories
• Friends don't let friends node drunk
• People don't flail when they die
• What happens when you tell a girl you'll call and you don't
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• Friends don't let friends drive drunk
• Things men want when they're drunk
• Mixed drinks you come up with when you're drunk
• When you are drunk, all you can see is light
• I don't mind it when authors take their time
• When being chased by CIA trainees, don't mention Belgium to the waffle house physicist
• Don't stop. You can sleep when you're dead.
• How to get drunk when in Norway
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• Don't touch me when I'm on a boat
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• When discussing philosophy, please don't mention The Matrix
• Who i think about when i dont want to smile
• I just don't know when to quit.
• I Bet You Don't Know When The Song Is Going To End
• Why girlfriends get annoyed when they remember things you don't
• Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
• Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free.
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• Don't node drunk
• Preaching Christianity to hitch hikers when you don't believe in God on the day of the Devil
• beside a moon that don't know when to quit
• I don't want to be here when you don't call.
• When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.
• HOT DAMN 2! When Ohio's a rockin' don't come a knockin'
• I don't even know when I am being sarcastic anymore
• I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do?
• Don't touch me when I'm screaming
• the way you don't look at me
• Punks aren't lazy. They just don't got principles.
• drunk driving
• I never ventured in the woods and got drunk and slept
• modern drunk (user)
• When lovely woman stoops to folly
• You know you are addicted to Everything when
• When serpents bargain for the right to squirm
• When will the internet eradicate paper?
• When to Shake
• When things are known by a brand name
• Where do they keep the car keys when they transport cars?
• When science questions itself (a rant)
• Sometimes, when no one is looking, I am beautiful
• When all the stars go out at night
• when immunity is a bad thing
• When your fireworks are shooting stars
• When people say "All-American", they seldom mean me.
• When you move here we will have plenty of time to have fun together
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• When Push Comes To Shove
• When psychiatric drugs attack
• I used to fly like peter pan, all the children flew when I touched their hands
• Why do people only think I'm hot when I'm not available?
• When poets scream
• When I was young Time had no wings
• I'll get there when I get there
• His face when she fell
• when music is your quest, then both sound and silence are your friends
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• When Shall We Take Off?
• When I would muse in boyhood
• Is it fair for him to love me when she craves his touch?
• When Frogs Go Bad mp3 (recording)
• When I stop going there, I will be well.
• that moment of panic when you flush the toilet but nothing goes down
• A lie only hurts when it's told by people you care about
• Don't stand so close to me
• I don't think of her
• Why don't men shave?
• Don't lie. Ever.
• If you're going to complain about store policy, don't do it to the employees!
• Low self-esteem is actually one of the most self-centered acts; not unlike suicide
• Don't get me wrong - I'm a feminist
• Don't Use Singleton Classes
• I don't own a microwave
• We don't look for trouble but if it comes we don't run
• Don't You Go to Far Zamboanga
• I don't like my smile
• Problems with E2 user poetry
• Hurricanes don't dance enough.
• Don't say no
• Next time don't drop acid and down a dozen shots right before the rehearsal dinner
• Why the Aum Shinrikyo and Anthrax don't mix
• Don't Tell a Soul
• Don't pursue Lu Bu
• We Don't Need the Men
• A Grand Don't Come for Free
• Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?
• I don't shiver because I'm cold. I shiver because you are.
• Don't You Hate
• Writers don't look for their big breaks. They write them.
• or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
• people who don't exist
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• what is this i don't even
• Don't trust Yelp
• Oh, look at me, I'm so drunk
• EveryBody Gets Drunk At Election
• why drunk trampolining is so fun
• When having sex in Germany
• What happens when we die?
• What Italian guys are really talking about when they say "Ey Oh"
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• You know you've done psychedelic drugs
• When you are being sacrificed
• Things we say and do when we can't tell the truth
• Never frown; you never know when someone's falling in love with your smile.
• When the law's on your side
• When you were my baby
• When a boy comes over, always have something baking
• Stop saying "religion" when you mean "a particular religion about which I'm bitter"
• How do you know when your relationship is over?
• when you are in
• When you find yourself in a church wearing a shirt that says "Pussy"
• How to tell when a journalist has no idea what they're talking about
• Happy When It Rains
• When Good King Arthur Ruled This Land
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• When you're a quarterback, you should not screw with the minds of your linemen
• What to do when a roommate moves out
• We get too tense when we drive
• Converting Grams to Moles And Back Again When Dealing With Monatomic Elements
• When we kiss I can hear your thoughts, so I would rather we didn't
• when the time comes
• When a man lies he murders some part of the world
• It hurts when I touch it. What should I do?
• Since when did you respect anything?
• One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards
• When I growl, the sound echoes like thunder all through the valleys and woodlands, and children tremble with fear, and women cover their heads with their aprons, and big men run and hide.
• I always sound Irish when I'm trying to be charming
• Don't Bet Your Money on de Shanghai
• I know there are other fish in the sea but I don't want them
• Don't be sexy. I said stop that.
• Why don't you just rip my heart out, it would be quicker and less painful
• Don't call me Debbie
• Don't blow into someone's vagina
• Information you don't need
• They shoot videogames in Indianapolis, don't they?
• Don't buy the champagne just yet
• I don't feel the same way about you
• Don't indent HTML paragraphs
• Don't force your not forcing one's philosophy on others philosophy on me
• I don't rewrite my poetry
• We don't fly there anymore
• I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?
• Lick That/Don't Lick That
• Act as if you are in a dream; be daring and don't apologize
• I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me
• Don't Press Your Luck
• Why don't we try to destroy tropical cyclones by nuking them?
• don't be a fool, it's nineteen-ninety-five, the girls are just friends
• Don't Look Back in Anger
• Your first relationship will be nuked: Don't give up
• We don't write 'round here much anymore
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• i don't fit under the bed anymore
• I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary.
• To June, from Eric
• don't be a girl
• Sketches For My Sweetheart The Drunk
• Driving while drunk vs. driving while tired
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• Times when you MUST have a smoke
• When Trumpets Fade
• How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
• Women want me when I'm taken
• i enjoy myself most when i'm all alone
• When I left my girl
• Who needs genetic cloning when we have The Gap?
• What happens when you translate to Klingon and back
• When We Were Orphans
• When in Rome, Never Boil
• When touch was simple
• Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• You wake up slowly when you're a mile underground
• When The Kitestring Pops
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter

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