I pulled the burnt insides out of a computer power supply, leaving the fan in, then put a frozen Coke can in the box and connected the fan to a 12 Volt source hoping it would blow air, cooled by the Coke can, onto my face. While setting it up, imagination ran riot as I dreamed of building an international manufacturing and distribution empire for this revolutionary device, thus financing my retirement. The best approach, I decided, would be to license manufacturers in different countries, using different technologies. That way, I could avoid all the hard and messy work of fabrication and export.
Made out of die-cast high-strength aluminium, will
withstand over-voltage incidents up to 15000 Volts
for 30 min, can be immersed in water and most
acids for short periods, is air-droppable from
10000 ft and is guaranteed for 75 years. Cost is
Has won many prestigious design awards, and can be
seen in various museums around the world. The
entire Italian production run of 23 appliances has
already been sold to museums and celebrities, for
Is totally re-designed and re-configured, and is
nothing like the original design. It will be
available next year or the year after, price not known at this
Is made in China, see "Chinese version". Price is
7 times the price of whatever the Chinese version
Is driven by a small steam engine. While the
appliance itself is effective, the heat given off
by the steam engine was found to overcome the
benefits, which is okay because it does not really
get hot in England.
The American version is affordable at $9.99, and
available from gunshops, lawyers' offices, and on
ebay. It comes with a 1097 page User Care
Guide. Here is the Contents page:
1097.........How to use
7% of the production run is defective, and subject
to a recall notice. Call 1-800-somebodyinmumbai to
get a replacement.
Uses 50% less material and has a parts count down
to 3. It is guaranteed to survive up to but not
including the opening of the blister
packaging. "Pleese are rturning to Shwei fong
Shwang for all naughty functionment".
Price: very cheap.
Appeared 1 month after production under contract
in China of the Scandinavian version
commenced. VERY similar to the Scandinavian
version, but in different colours. The brand name
on the front panel is "Stick your label
here". Price: 1/7th that of the Scandinavian
Is quite cheap, but you have to supply some items
yourself. These are:
13 x 3/17 inch left-hand thread Dzus screws
1 x 19.273 Volt battery
Comes in the form of a kit:
7 lb iron ore
3 lb plastic
2 oz copper
from which you assemble the appliance
yourself. Price: free, as in beer, you ignorant
codeless weenie. The Beginners' Guide starts:
"Morty Futze has re-designed the plastic
fermjerckle in this version, make sure you
spondugle the cremken, using the instructions on
this web page: https://404_page_not_found.php"
Only works on very expensive desks. Price: You can find the price in the file /var/conf/cconph/slxzxssztppxlsz-w11.1101.tar.gz2.bfe. NOTE: Anyone using another version of this appliance which has anything similar to our version such as, but not limited to, plastic, metal or electricity, will have to buy a licence from us to use it.
Is brown, and has one switch which is disabled because WE know what
you want and when you want it, so WE will control the
appliance. Anyway, you are too stupid to be given control of an
appliance like this, so just admire the tasteful enclosure and show it
to all your friends.
Comes in an attractively-packaged unit, with 13 security upgrade add-ons.
CAUTION: do not leave this version connected to the mains power. It can be accessed from anywhere in the world and made to shoot flames at your face!
For information, the prototype didn't work. A computer fan just shifts air, it doesn't blow it, so the air flow was too feeble. Also, it has already been done, I saw a plastic version in the Think Geek catalogue, I think.