This is the birthdate of Asuka Langley Sohryu in Neon Genesis Evangelion. It is actually a reference to Asuka's Japanese Seiyuu (Voice Actor) Miyamura Yuuko's birthdate. Miyamura was born on December 4, 1972 in Hyougo. Both Asuka and her Seiyuu share the same blood type, O, as well.

Among Eva no otaku there is a subset of Asuka Otaku who vehemently deny there is an Asuka vs. Rei debate at all and would say Anta baka?! to anyone who says otherwise. Come this date, fans of Asuka's breasts from around the world will unite to celebrate the coming of whom they consider, the chosen one. Rei Ayanami won't be "created" for another three years at least so among the Evangelion fan community this date signifies "proof" that Asuka is better than Rei.

It is also a perfect example of how much symbolism and how many references are piled into Eva. All of the main characters in Evangelion share the same birthdays as their seiyuu. Most also share the same blood type. It is this sort of connection; the effort to make the characters "real" that I think really sets Eva apart from other anime.

*sits and stares at the computer screen, shaking and scared*

It is more frightening to be on the outside, looking in, when someone is contemplating/attempting suicide, than it is to be the one performing the act. When I tried to kill myself, I was depressed and in pain. I wasn't scared. I felt guilty for the pain I would cause others, but not scared for myself.

But now I am watching one of my dear friends going through that depression, that pain, that extreme desire for escape, and I am terrified.

I am scared that I am going to lose someone I love - and I feel so guilty for not being able to help her. *cries softly*

Oh, Amber... I am being purely selfish, I know... But please - I don't know what I would do if you weren't here. *offers you a heartfelt hug* I love you, Amber.

I often write things in my head, sometimes I mean to daylog them, sometimes I don't.

But I speak to myself in my mind, recording my thoughts. Last night on my midnight barefoot walk on the beach I did this.

I just read the thank you note that panamaus mentioned above.

On July 10, 2001 I wrote some nasty stuff about my family.

If they ever read it, I hope they read this too, I'd prefer they read neither, but I wrote it, and erasing it would be wrong.


I'm sorry.

I Love You

I don't know if you realise, that each and every word I say is true.

I have no idea whether you know, that as I sit here, alone, I just can't stop thinking about you.

That I can't stop thinking that you're trying to protect me, and that just makes me love you more. You should know that I'd step out onto a wire for you, and I'd never look down, never shake, never fall.

That I would simply walk away from everything else, if it took me a pace closer to you.

I have no thought of consequences, no care, because you're worth more than anything else.

And I know this scares scares me too.

I know you don't believe you're worth this.....but you're worth more than I could ever give.

You're everything to me.
Finished reading Stargirl today. That's a book by Jerry Spinelli; my friend told me I needed to read it because the character Stargirl reminded her of me. Now I know why. Hmm, she thinks I'm craaaazy. But it is not I who am crazy. It is I who am mad!

Glarb. So, today, I went to The Mall™. Ahh, the smell of consumerism. There, you can get "something for everyone on your list." And until this year, I didn't really have a list. But since I got a new part time job (in addition to my full time retail job), I can now afford to stop using the excuse "I'm broke!" to get away without giving holiday gifts to everyone I know.

So I bought a little of everything for everyone. Still some people on "my list" who need presents, but I managed to sneak in a few personal purchases as well. How cool is that? I got me a new necklace, a new nightlight, and a new hands-free phone thingamajig.

That book has me wanting to write letters to people I don't know. Want to be the first?

QXZ's London Invasion, Part Five
back to part four

That one burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp
Blackbird singing in the dead of night.

Sunny! Joy. Today's the Tower of London.

Got almost no sleep last night. Miriam's goddamn French-accented voice ripping through the door for hours. Head under pillow, still vibrates the bed. How do these people function on three hours' sleep? In bed by three, up around six? God.

Also, it seems every other resident of the hostel has a hacking cough. Good thing I'm not there much.

Toasted ham & cheese and an OJ, and I'm out.

Inside the Tower of London. The guided tour was hugely entertaining. Now in Wakefield Tower, at the chapel where King Henry IV was murdered. Light through the stained glass illuminates a stone set into the floor commemorating the occasion, May 21, 1471.

How long must it take to carve your name into the stone of your prison walls? Not just names; sentences, paragraphs, diagrams, whole reliefs, an outline of your hand. Not scratched... carved. Deeply. And often with great detail.

DeBeers ("patron saint of young ladies", as the Beefeater referred to them) has "lent" over 21,000 diamonds to the Tower so as to demonstrate how many diamonds were once in a particular crown. Over 21,000. Yeah, diamonds are rare these days, huh?

Two of the Tower ravens held very still while I photographed them. They looked straight at me the whole time.

The Bloody Tower was entirely about Raleigh, with no indication of where the Princes may have been murdered.

The Crown Jewels are, in a word, intense. Precious stones and gold in quantities I've never seen before, but also carrying the weight of power. These things are "in use". These objects represent the Queen and her reign. Of course, this mood is well set by the coronation videos you pass by while in line to see the jewels. Equally impressive and symbolic are the four-foot thick vault doors guarding all of this.

Was able to get up close and personal with two ravens on the steps to the White Tower. They really are quite captivating. Much more dignity and, well, gravitas than crows have, though maybe I'm biased by the setting.. Ha! This one just cawed at me. I guess that's as close to "nevermore" as I'm likely to get.

Left the Tower at 4:20, after almost four hours and a tour of the arms exhibit in the White Tower. Wonderful place. I think I've been interested in the Tower of London since I was 11 or 12 years old, so finally seeing it was great fun. Caught several mini changings of the guard, too. Great theater.

Crossed the Thames on Tower Bridge. I'd intended to use the upper walkway, but a nearly £6.00 fee diminished my enthusiasm for that. Besides, it was closed.

Walked west on the river walk down to London Bridge (the third? fourth?), into Southwark, then stopped at a Jenny's Restaurant for fast food.

Ah. They've brought me vinegar for my "chips". I experiment with it. It's not bad, but the smell is too reminiscent of my tear gas experience to be truly appetizing.

...This train goes to Ealing/Broadway. Goodbye, pretty bicycle girl. Goodbye...

Back at the hostel I braved the shower and feel much better. Discovered that the whisky French Drinker's been sucking down is literally generic. It has a black and white label reading:


40% vol

and then a barcode. Further small print claims it was distilled and blended in Leith, Scotland. For what it's worth.

Excerpted from QXZ's travel diary, 12/4/01.
QXZ endorses nothing.

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